


You're Mine

by zayntopsall



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - College/University, Explicit Sexual Content, Living in one roof, M/M, Top!Zayn, bottom!Louis
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-31
Updated: 2013-01-31
Packaged: 2017-11-27 16:26:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 51,492
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/664047
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zayntopsall/pseuds/zayntopsall
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Zayn’s possessiveness over his childhood friend Louis, is driving the older lad insane. He would always find a way to get to him, despite Louis being the student council president, busies himself to studies and works part time as a bartender!</p><p>Louis always hated him for doing weird things and touchy with him and most of all sending an emotional turmoil inside him; even though he tries to run away, Zayn would go farther and farther, leaving his resolution for him weakening and his hate for him growing!</p><p>But could he actually run away from this possessive Zayn? And how far will he be able to stop him from going farther?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Louis finds himself alone in a room with the person he least wanted to be with, Zayn Malik.

The awkward silence was enough to make him uneasy, but the fact that Zayn was inside his room was just complete madness. The Bradford boy was wearing a smug on his face, his eyes not leaving Louis’s, staring at his every move and watching his every expression. He heard the door locked behind Zayn, making him more uneasy and jumpy. When he learned about Zayn was in his house, all he could do was to stand in the corner of his room, praying that Zayn wouldn’t move an inch to get close to him.

He sighed by the sudden turn of things just a few moments ago; he went home, just as usual, doing his homework and other stuffs, but instead, he was welcomed by a very familiar face his stomach turned, not to mention his whole family agreed to let Zayn live here until the school year ends.

He scratched his head, unable to think of any good reasons on how to deal with the situation, he put on a strong, facade as he lifts his head and looked back at Zayn who was not moving an inch away from the door and wasn’t even looking away.

“Seriously, Zayn. What the fuck is going on?” He wanted to stay calm and look composed; and made sure he’s the one in-charge in this house; he eyed him and shot hateful glares at him, but Zayn didn’t seem to notice or maybe, he just didn’t care at all.

“Your mom just said it, Lou. I’ll be staying here.” He smirked.

“Don’t fuck with me, Zayn. If this is another crazy antics of yours, get out.” Louis turned his face to his window; unable to hold the staring contest with Zayn. Everything seems so easy with this guy, and how he hated him; if that’s how you call it.

“I’m not fucking with you, Lou.” Zayn finally managed to take a step; making Louis fuss over the corner, he wouldn’t want another inch of closeness with this human; he wouldn’t be able to take it, and his composure was starting to eradicate.

He dwelled into the corner, images of their past flashed before him. Zayn wasn’t just a ‘somebody’ in his life. He was his childhood friend, his bestfriend; but things suddenly changed between them when Louis started to feel uneasy with Zayn. He was really sweet at him in all times and how he touches him makes his stomach squirm; it was a feeling that he wasn’t quite sure of, but whatever it is, he knew it was “different”. Unable to think of any way to get out of the situation he was caught into, he decided to drift away from Zayn. He stopped meeting him after graduation and determined to cut all contacts with him; and he was able to convince his whole family to move to another city, somewhere nearer into the University he was going to.

He took that very chance to change his life; he studied way harder than usual and in a span of time, he was able to be what he wanted to be: running for honors, elected as the Student Council president of the Business Administration and winning competitions.

“At least not now.” The deep voice of Zayn pulled him back to reality and before he could even protest, Zayn has already pinned him into the wall. His felt his whole system shut down all at once, the same time his knees feeble, and his whole energy being drained out. This is what he hated about Zayn, how his words could bring war into his mind, losing his focus, his composure and making him feel like an idiot.

Zayn was inches away from him; his scent clouded his thoughts, always the same scent; he could feel his breathe before his face as Zayn moved closer and closer to him.

“W-what are you doing here?” Louis stuttered, struggling to get away from Zayn but the lad was just too strong, his arms now on the wall, locking Louis inside. “Why are you even here?” He stressed.

“How many times should I tell you, Louis. I’ll be living here ‘cause I have to go to the same University as yours.” He stares deeper into his eyes; and Louis could only feel his whole body being drowned into those long lashes and his light brown eyes, illuminated by the stunning natural light outside. “You have to make up all the things you’ve done.”

“W-What—“

“Don’t act innocent with me, Lou. I knew all about your ‘running away’.” Zayn cut him off with a stern voice; in a minute, his eyes were full of gentleness and then now, it was as if Louis did a grave mistake. “Do you think running away from me could make you feel good?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He lied. “Move away, Zayn.”

“Make me.” Zayn mocked, and he could see his smile in his face: like Zayn was having fun. How could their reunion turn into something like this? If his mom just said it earlier, he could’ve prepared, but it was all too late now.

“Do you know how long I’ve waited for this?” Zayn’s voice abruptly changed; it was back to the deep voice, mild and benign. “I’ll make sure you won’t run away from me anymore.” He whispered and Louis could only shudder in response; he hated him, he keep on telling himself how much he hated him, how he could make him all weak and feel like a kid all of a sudden.

“Look at me.” And without thinking, Louis looked at him and he was dazed by how Zayn changed a lot from the last time he saw him. But everything about him was still the same, how he bullies him and how he dominates his every move. Zayn moved closer and pressed his lips in his neckline, slowly nibbling his skin, “Zayn…” he could only groan as he tugged his clothes, trying to gather all his strength to push him away; but it made no avail.

Zayn continued to land kisses on his neck, moving all the way up to his ear as his hands crawled into his back, pulling him closer to him. He bit his tongue in complete restrain not make any stupid sound or else it would be the end of him.

“You’re Mine, Louis. You can’t run away from me.”

He bends his face having no idea what to say or do; he gripped onto his leather jacket, feeling every sensation of Zayn, smothering him with gentle kisses.

“Louis, Zayn, dinner’s ready!” Phoebe’s voice called out to them just outside the room; and Louis took Zayn’s distraction to get away from him; he badly needed to catch some air, he felt like his whole body was suddenly confined in an air-tight room. He glanced towards the door; somehow thanking Zayn for locking it or else, his mum would probably die of shock from what she could see.

“Y-yeah, Mom. We’re coming.”

He could feel the tension inside the room as he looked back at Zayn who was now leaning against the wall, the very same position he was into when he was on that corner.

“This is not going to happen, Zayn. No way.” He went back to his old self; trashing away the moment that just happened minutes ago. “Now go down and eat with us, my dad doesn’t want any empty chair in the table.” And by that, he closed the door behind him, as he leaned against it, catching every breathe he lost inside. He could hear his own breath and so as his heart, beating rapidly from the situation he got into; how could Zayn made him feel like that even though years have gone through? He thought all the weird things he was feeling inside him before was just some kind of fucked-up teenage hormone; but he knew things would be different from now on.

Zayn’s voice resonates inside his head, how he called him, ‘his’. He should’ve said something, but it was lucid enough for him that his mind and senses unquestionably fucks up whenever Zayn’s around. He grits his fist; determined to that he won’t falter from his control over him once again, it’s going to be different from now on, and Louis wouldn’t allow him to make his life miserable just because of him.

And that was something Louis wanted to believe.


	2. Chapter 2

His eyes squint by the harsh light of sunlight, adding up with the pain of his eyes for not having a goodnight sleep. All the blame was towards his sudden roommate, Zayn Malik.

Failing to convince his mom to just give the guest room to Zayn, he ended up sharing his large room to him. Louis was still thankful that Johannah gave Zayn a bunk mattress, meaning he’ll stay in his bed and doesn’t have to spend the rest of the night bumping onto Zayn; he just can’t imagine getting close to him again after what happened earlier.

When it was time to turn off the lights, Zayn protested and asked him not to turn it off since he was afraid of the dark. Of course, Louis thought it was some kind of joke, but after Zayn threatened him of attacking him in his bed when he’s asleep if he turns off the light, he left the switch immediately.

As he curls up to his bed, his brain thought of all things that could happen when he starts to sleep. If he was asleep and Zayn attacks him, it would definitely be the end of him. He was thinking if he was just exaggerating but he can’t blame himself if he was a getting really paranoid by his presence and what that man could do. But most of all, he was nervous as hell, thinking that the person who makes his whole system shut down was breathing the same air as he did and just feets away from him. He couldn’t control the pounding of his chest, his heavy breathing, thinking Zayn, the guy whom he was bestfriends before turns into a complete stranger, was finally there, inside his room. He wanted to ask a lot of questions, but at that very moment, he just wanted to look at him even more.

“Are you asleep, Lou?” Zayn’s voice was enough to make him jump; but he decided to pretend he was asleep, he has no idea where their conversation might go and what will happen after.

“I know you’re awake. If you won’t answer, I swear, I’ll put my hands inside your pants.”

“Don’t you fucking dare, Zayn!” Louis sat up to his bed and saw Zayn looking at him, smiling, his right arm beneath the pillow and his hands on his bare chest. He blushed by the sight of his body, remembering he doesn’t have that ravishing body before.

“Like what you’re seeing, Lou?” Zayn brushed his hand into his chest, inviting him to give in to the temptation as his smile grows wider.

“In your dreams, Malik!” He covered himself with the sheets as he squirmed into his bed, hearing Zayn chuckle and his heart went faster than before. It went faster and faster as the image of Zayn before him flashed into his mind whenever he shuts his eyes. He felt something he wasn’t suppose to feel and he spent the whole night trying to forget what he saw; only ending up to sleep at 3:30 am, when his brain seemed to get tired of thinking.

In the morning, he woke up earlier than usual even though he wasn’t able to catch some sleep last night, since he doesn’t want to end up walking with Zayn. He managed to escape him but the consequence was showing itself to him.

“Oh my god, Louis? Are you okay?” He turns around to see the Vice President of the Student Council, Eleanor, her shocking face disturbed him. “You look, tired.”

“You could tell? Seriously, Do I look that bad?” Louis asked, as he brushed his hair which ended up being plainly down, instead of being waxed and blow dried. Getting pissed by the fact that this is all Zayn’s fault, even his looks are being affected because of him.

“Honestly, Yes, you don’t look like a president at all,” Eleanor answered, slightly laughing because of how Louis actually appears, “It’s like our first week of the school and you’re already this tired? Did something happen?”

“Nothing, really. I just had a bad dream, and it took me a lot of time before I could sleep.” Louis lied. He couldn’t just tell Eleanor that the reason why he can’t sleep was because of a presence of a guy, which was totally absurd.

“Okay. Seriously, you should get some rest, okay? I’ll head to my class now. Call me if you need anything. And we have a meeting this afternoon for the orientation of the freshmen. See ya!” And by that, Eleanor was gone.

He silently walked down the hallways heading towards his classroom, but before he opens the door, he saw their Student Council room, and without further thinking, he decreed he won’t attend this certain subject and just sleep in there for an hour, another first thing that will happen all because of Zayn. Again.

He went inside and closed the door behind him, hastily dropping his satchel and burying his face onto his table.

“Finally. A good morning sleep, without any distraction.” He let his droopy eyes fall slowly and in a matter of seconds, he was asleep.

XXX

Louis felt something touching his hair. Or probably someone. He opened his eyes, and he could only see a silhouette; obviously, that person was blocking the light. He smiled by the gentleness of the hands that was brushing his hair, it was full of care, and he liked it. He has no idea who it was, but it was probably a dream and he chose to get pleasure from it.

“You like it?” A faint voice asked him, it was deep and somehow he resembles someone.

“Mmhmmmm” He sleepily replied, still enjoying the gentle strokes of the fingers to his hair.

“You get actually turn on by this, Lou?”

Louis’s eyes shot wide open by the very, very familiar voice that he heard. He jolted into his seat and there, Zayn was sitting in his table grinning at him.

“What the fuck are you doing here??” Louis brushed his hair, trying to remove the feeling of Zayn’s hands in his head; he can’t believe he liked the way Zayn touched him and he was actually enjoying it. “Why aren’t you even in class?”

Zayn leans forward, and Louis tries to back away, “Shouldn’t I ask you the same question, Mr. President?” He stressed, and Louis felt embarrassed, realizing he did the same.

“Get out of my office, Zayn. I wasn’t able to sleep last night – “

“Oh, so you were thinking about me.” Zayn smirked.

“Don’t even think about it, Malik.” Louis hastily stood up, he knew this conversation is going the wrong way again and he have to get away, fast. “I’m going now, you – Fuck!”

Louis felt a pain in his back by the abrupt shift of his body being pushed down to his own table; Zayn was in between his legs, holding both of his hands in one hand and his other hand on the table. He shuddered by the sudden contact of their skins and how near Zayn was.

“Wrong move, Lou. You tried to run away from me this morning. Not happening again.” Zayn whispered into his ears, and before he could react, Zayn bit his earlobes, his whole body squirms in the hotness that filled his whole system. “I told you, you can’t run away from me, Lou. You’re mine.”

Louis kept on telling to himself that he won’t let Zayn do anything beyond what he was doing to him right now, again, he struggled to get away but Zayn was just so fucking strong it made no effect for the Bradford boy.

“The more you struggle, the more it’ll be hard for you, Lou.” Zayn started to kiss him to his neckline and bit his sweet, sensitive skin. “Mine, Louis,” he nibbled and sucked, “I’ll mark every inch of your body, so you know who you belong to.”

Louis bit his lips as he tried hard not to let out any single sound by the touch and sensation Zayn was giving him. He won’t lose to him, he just has to show him he wasn’t enjoying and probably Zayn would leave him.

“Oh, so you want that kind of silent game?” Zayn backed away, looking intently into his eyes, the harsh light illuminated Zayn’s strong jawline and how his light brown eyes sparkles made Louis shiver. “Fine, let’s see who’ll let out the loudest moan in here.”

“You – !”

Zayn cut him off his words as he madly kissed Louis’s lips, going deeper by the minute and lavishly conquering him inside his mouth. Louis closed his eyes in desperation in to restrain himself from responding. Zayn started to move his hands toward Louis’s button up blue long sleeve, in which he regretted since it was so easy to open. And it seems like Zayn was able to read his thoughts that he nodded for some reason.

Zayn kissed his chest and leave every mark in each time his lips pressed onto his skin. He could feel his whole body squirms by the hot feeling that was inside him and he felt like exploding when Zayn brushed his hand over his pants.

“You got a thing with gentle caresses, Lou?” Zayn teased as he continued to rub his hand on Louis’s bulge. “Let’s see how far you could keep that.” Zayn unbuckles Louis’s belt and pulled down his jeans, revealing his erection. Louis’s mind was in complete blank as he took a glance on Zayn who was looking at him with impassioned eyes, as if he was going to eat him up.

Zayn started to stroke his cock and Louis wasn’t able to restrain himself anymore from the heightening pleasure that filled his whole body. Zayn went up to a pace and he stroked him harder, and he could hear Zayn groans as well, and the boy did not leave Louis’s eyes.

Louis arched his back as he felt the tightening of his insides, “Shit, Zayn…S-stop it –“ Louis growled but Zayn didn’t seem to hear anything as he went faster pressing his body on to Louis even more and nibbled his neck, “Open your mouth, Lou.” Louis wasn’t able to comprehend anything anymore and as he did, he let out a loud moan as he emptied himself into Zayn’s jacket.

It happened. All the things he told himself that wouldn’t come about happened all at once.

“Next time you run away, we’ll go farther.” And Zayn gave him a wink as he finally let go of his hands that turned white from his grip.

“Fuck you, Zayn.”

“Next time, Lou. And make sure you’re ready.”


	3. Chapter 3

Louis sluggishly poured over the maple syrup on his waffle as he watches his sisters heartily eats Zayn’s breakfast dish. He glanced over Zayn in the counter, seeing him happily whisking another recipe for later, entertaining them with some juvenile tricks. Zayn caught him in the eye and winked at him, Louis blushed and turned back to his waffle which eventually got drowned with the over sweetness of the liquid; he couldn’t just help but to be embarrassed; after what happened yesterday, he couldn’t even look at him straight in the face.

On what occurred back into the student council room; it was Zayn to blame. He wasn’t able to neither listen to his professors nor participate in any of the class he attended to. To make thing worse, he felt like shit after not having any idea what happened into their meeting; he was only glad that Eleanor was there to back him up, or else, he would’ve dragged Zayn back into the SC room, and make him lead the meeting himself.

“Aren’t you going to eat that?” Zayn’s deep voice pulled him back to their dining room, as the person behind his mischief sat across him, giving him a sweet smile that made him blushed.

“I’m-I’m going to…” Louis turned his head back to the waffle again, the only thing that made him remain sane for the time being. He could hear the boisterous laughs of his sisters but behind all that, his heart skipping was louder; and he could feel Zayn looking at him again.

“Hey, Zayn. Do you have a girlfriend?” Louis turned to the voice that asked, and saw his little sister Daisy blushing over the question; and the other three giggled in anticipation.

“Nope. I don’t have anyone right now.” Zayn beamed at them and the girls almost screamed in his response.

“Then can you marry me, when I grow up?” Phoebe interjected; leaving Louis’s mouth gaped over the silly things he was hearing over breakfast.

“No! Zayn! You will marry me, right?” Daisy jumped out of his seat and started to hug Zayn, and then followed by Phoebe and so Fizz followed as well, leaving Lottie properly seated on her chair and continued eating her pancake.

Zayn laughed by the overwhelming sweetness of Louis’s sisters, “I’m sorry, I can’t marry you my little princesses, if I wait for you, I’ll die alone!” He humoured as he carried them all back to their seats and kissed them to their cheeks, leaving the girls blushing and almost screaming.

“Geez, you girls are growing up so fast!” Louis tried to stir into their conversation as he brushed Daisy’s hair and the young girl could only snigger in retort.

“But I want Zayn to live here forever!” Fizz protested, not leaving Zayn’s arms even though he was already at her seat.

“Of course, he will.” Lottie’s voice almost made the whole house silent for a while as all of them, including Zayn and Louis looked into her direction, with perplexity.

Phoebe leaned over the table as she enquired Lottie with deep and obvious anticipation, “Really? How did you know???”

Zayn looked back at Louis for a moment, and Louis could only shrug in response, clueless about the silly topic that was turning to become a serious one because of Lottie’s statement. “She sure is not a kid anymore,” Louis thought.

“It’s because Zayn would marry Louis.”

The girls looked back at them and started laughing; not the mocking laugh, but it was as if there was something behind it, some I-know-about-it-already kind of laugh, which made Louis felt his blood rushing behind his ears and making his stomach turn. He looked back at Zayn who was visibly enjoying this scene as he gave him a smirk before putting the slice of pancake in his mouth.

“But I don’t think Louis wants to marry me.” Zayn gestured a sad face as he dropped his fork and put both of his hands under his chin, pouting in front of Louis. “I think he hates me.”

Louis choked over the waffle that was inside of his mouth from what Zayn had just said. He felt his heart beat faster again and again; he thought Zayn had just dropped it, but like an immature kid wanting to get attention, of course he didn’t.

“What? That’s not true right, Lou-Lou? You’ll marry, Zayn, right?” Phoebe, Daisy and Fizz almost said it at once, with their pleading expressions pushing him to say something. He shot a look at Lottie, who was laughing at his situation and he kept in mind he’ll make her pay later.

“Y-yeah. Of course, I’d marry Zayn.” His reply made the girls do their high-fives and they all hugged Lottie who looked all mighty as if her plan had just happened. But Louis felt the absurdity behind his words that it made his stomach churn and he feels himself losing appetite. It was another ridiculous challenge from the girls, and he was just hoping that they would just forget all about it when they go to sleep tonight; wanting to forget all about the conversation that occurred during their breakfast.

\---

Suddenly he felt a cold shudder in his feet, and as he looked down, he saw Zayn’s foot pressing down his.

“You’ll marry me, Lou? Is that true?” Zayn whispered at him, his gaze getting stronger again and making Louis weak, once more.

He felt his whole body being paralyzed just by the touch of Zayn’s toes towards his skin and the Bradford boy didn’t stop there, he slowly moved his toes upward as he reached the spot between Louis’s legs, circling his toes on his cock.

Louis almost moaned but he bit his lip in desperation to not make any single fucking, stupid sound around his sisters.

“Don’t you dare think about doing this, Zayn.” Louis’s body felt hot all of a sudden, his lower body twitching by the motion of Zayn’s toes. How could he do such thing with his sisters around?

“Really? I thought we’re off to marriage?” Zayn pushed his toes harder into his length as he stressed each words, “I. Can’t. Wait. Lou.” He heard Zayn’s smile and the only movement his body could do was his to hold tightly the table cloth; trying hard to suppress his expression from the sensation that he was feeling from Zayn’s toes.

“We should start practicing these kinds of things, honey.” Zayn almost let out a chuckle; Louis looked at him and saw how in the world was he able not to show any expression at all. He wanted to shove his foot away from him, but his body was getting weak by the moment.

From another motion of Zayn’s toes in his cock, he almost gave up as he clenched his fist tightly, biting his lip and turning his head down; he can’t take this anymore, one more and his sisters would hear an embarrassing sound from their brother.

Out of the blue, he felt Zayn’s hands grabbed his wrist and dragged him upstairs, “I’m sorry my princesses, Lou and I have to talk about our marriage, we need some privacy okay?” Zayn looked back at them before he continued to pull Louis upstairs, and throw him inside their room and all Louis could hear was her sisters screaming either over complete joy or by complete disgust; he doesn’t want to know.

XXX

Before Louis could say something about what happened a while ago, Zayn dragged him inside their bathroom and locked the door behind him.

“What the hell, Zayn! I swear, whatever you’re thinking right now, it won’t happen. It won’t fucking happen, Malik.” Louis backed away, his legs hit the cold ceramic of the bathtub, and he knew he was trapped, his whole body was getting weaker and weaker by the moment, he could feel the weight of Zayn’s stare at him as the lad moved closer and closer; his breath losing and he could sense his sanity leaving him again.

Zayn was just inches away from him now, and there was no fucking way to get out, he almost jumped when he felt Zayn’s hands crawls over his back, pulling him closer and whispering into his ears, “How ‘bout we practice our honeymoon, what do you think, Lou?” Zayn teased as he bit his earlobe, huffing into his ears and Zayn’s other hand, cupping his cheeks.

“I’m not going to marry you, Zayn.” Louis growled, turning his face away from Zayn as he tried to moved, but Zayn held him tighter.

“You don’t get it do you?” Zayn pulled his face back, sending electric shock towards Louis’s system as he looked deep into his eyes, “Whether you like it or not, you will marry me. And no one will ever fucking have you other than me.”

And by that, Zayn lifted him inside the tub and turned on the shower in full blast, and in a moment, their lips-locked, Zayn urging his way inside Louis’s mouth, their tongues copiously searched for the lewd sensation, and Louis feeling every inch of Zayn’s body hugging him in the cold stipples of water. 

Louis groaned as Zayn lifted him and pinned him to the wall, biting every inch of his skin and grinding his pelvis, into their wet bodies, “No one can hear us now, Lou. Scream if you have to.” Louis heard his smile but he keeps telling himself that he wouldn’t do anything; but he was already in the point of bursting, and all he could do was to let out the voice that was restrained inside him.

Zayn brought him down for a moment as he struggled to remove his pants, and then went to Louis’s pants. Louis stared into the perfection of Zayn’s body, but he didn’t have time to savor the moment as Zayn twisted him around, his body pressed into the damp wall, gently kicking his feet apart farther and even though Louis had no idea what was about to happened; he felt like trusting Zayn.

“This is going to hurt, Lou.” Zayn pressed his body behind Louis as he whispered the gentle words; shuddering by the heat Zayn piercing inside his body, his voice, his touch, everything.

He whined by the sting of pain that he felt inside him, Zayn’s fingers pushing his insides and he felt his whole body explode, the pleasure as Zayn moved inside him, filling him up with an unusual sensation.

“I want you to scream my name so fucking bad, Louis. Say every fucking curse you know, but you will never, ever get away from me.” Zayn bit his nape as he pulled his fingers and Louis shut his eyes as the fusion of both pain and pleasure slithered into his whole system.

“You don’t have any idea how I want you so bad, Louis,” Zayn groaned. “So bad I want to lock you up and keep you to myself.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking-AH!” Louis griped and twitched, cutting his own voice, “-fuck you Zayn, I told you this is not going to happen –“

“You’re mine, Louis. No one in this world - ,” Zayn panted as he moved behind him, thrusting, “- not even you, will tell me what’s not going to happen.”

“Then I’ll run away as far as I can, you prick.”

“Fine. Then let’s do it my way, then.” He felt a shift from the voice of Zayn, as he grasped his hips and angrily pushed him inside him, not giving him any room to breathe, moan or say anything.

“Fuck Zayn. Will you, fucking, ah, slow down, you – “ Louis hands was slipping from the wall as Zayn held his hips tighter, his dominance over powering him,

“I can’t hear you, Louis.” Zayn gritted, leaning his back as he penetrated deeper into Louis, groaning as he pushed harder and harder. “Louder, Louis. Louder.”

“ZAYN!” Louis desperately moaned, their voices and groans echoed inside the room as the hard splashes of water into their bodies drowned them into a whirlpool of pleasure. Louis’s knees were starting to give in as he felt the heightening heat that was building up inside him.

Zayn clasped his hands to hold them in position, “Almost. There. Lou. Almost – “ Zayn tilted his head and groaned as he emptied himself; Louis almost bursting into tears by the amazing bliss that filled inside him; jerking himself off seconds later.

They both slumped inside the tub, heavily breathing and feeling every drop of water into their bodies.

“Better than breakfast, huh? How ‘bout we do this more often?” Zayn leaned closer to him.

“Shut up. This won’t ever happen again.”

“Whatever you say, Lou.”


	4. Chapter 4

“Lou, you look different.” His cheeky friend’s statement made him jump out of his seat as he felt his face burn in embarrassment.

“That was quite a reaction.” Harry shot him a smile, making him more embarrassed as he jittered on his seat. Louis looked at him with confusion, wondering if it’s actually true that your appearance changes when you had sex. “Do I look like I’m sending some fucking happy hormones? Or do I look so freaking tired?” Louis manages to keep the thought to himself as he snapped away from his friend’s stare.

Harry brought down the book he was reading; giving his full attention to Louis’ weird actions and play of expression. All he could thought of was this topic would actually be fun.

“If you’re asking me if you look good, yes. You do look differently good today.” The curly-haired lad winked at him, “So how was it? Who’s the lucky girl?” He asked.

Louis remained silent; this topic was making him fall from his seat. First, he did have sex. Second, he did have sex, but with a guy; and third, he had sex, with a guy, with a person he hated the most. It was driving him crazy.

The ambience of the library wasn’t making things better, all the silence resulted into an awkward atmosphere. He and Harry were supposed to be conducting research but now they ended up discussing things that wasn’t really something he planned on.

“Come on, Lou. I’m your bestfriend. At least spill me some beans.” Harry’s eyes sparkles with anticipation, waiting for the next words he’s friend was about to utter.

He looked back at him, heavily sighing from the account he just heard. If there was one thing different about his bestfriend, it’s that he’s actually gay: an open gay, to be exact. And he knew that the only person whom he could speak about his problem was Harry.

“What, Lou?” Harry brushed his fingers along Louis’s hands, yanking by the sudden feeling of their skins in contact. He immediately pulled his hands away from him; shuddering by the thought of Zayn’s action towards him yesterday and what happened between them. “Oh sorry – “

“N-no! It’s fine. It’s just that. I was thinking of something,” Louis reached his hand back and held them tightly; “I need to tell you something.”

Harry didn’t seem to expect the words that Louis blurted out; he was suddenly intrigued by the sudden serious atmosphere that enveloped them. “Sure.” He held back Louis’s hand that was resting on his palm as he pulled his chair closer to him.

“I – I had…” Louis felt like choking every word he was about to say, “I had – I mean, I was…with…”

Harry wasn’t able to understand any of the words Louis was muttering, and because of the impatience that overpowered him, he wasn’t able to hold back anymore, “Okay Lou. Tell me if I’m wrong; but are you trying to tell me that you had sex with a guy?”

His haw dropped; he felt his heart beat so fast, and he felt like he was sinking into his seat.

Harry let out a soft chuckle, “I knew it.”

“H-How did you – “

“Seriously. The moment you told me that Zayn, you’re childhood lover was living into your house, I was just waiting for you to tell me when you had sex.”

“H-He’s not my childhood lover!” He almost shouted and regretted it the moment he saw the faces of the people around him and a faint voice that hushed him. “I hate him, Harry! He’s always doing what he wants to do. I can’t get away from him…”

“And so? What’s the problem with that?” Harry questioned him.

“It’s just that whenever we meet or talk, he always ends up doing perverted things on me.” Louis calmed down, slumping from his seat as he starts to let out the feelings that were strangling him for the past couple of days.

“So you want to have a decent talk with him?

“I guess so? I don’t know. I hate him, Harry. I hate Zayn. Quite a lot and I feel like a mess whenever he’s around.”

Harry gave out an obvious smile at him, as if he knew something that was far from what Louis was thinking. “What?”

“I just thought you were using the incorrect word.” Harry inclined his head as he intently fixed his eyes on his Louis.

“Using the wrong word? I don’t understand.” Louis asked.

“I guess what you mean was “love” not “hate”.” Harry grinned, sitting back to his chair and went back to his book as if he didn’t say anything.

Louis was left with his thoughts. He was rather sure he hated Zayn. But he couldn’t erase the fact that Harry was on one way or another right; he hated him because of what he was feeling inside him; how he could be so defenceless and yet he wanted to talk to him; to ask him about a lot of things, to apologize for what happened before, the real reason why he was here and what was the meaning of all those things he was telling him.

“Do you think I should talk to him?” He hesitantly asked his friend once again. “I wanted to ask him about a lot of things.”

“I guess you should. Funny, I felt like being jealous today.” Harry teased him. “You were never like this when I confessed to you before.”

Louis dryly smiled at him as he remembered the day Harry confessed to him and how he rejected him immediately. Telling all the lies he could think of: that it’s better for them to be bestfriends, that he only sees him as his brother and that he wasn’t gay. Even though Harry was strong and sometimes trying to attack him as well; he was giving all his efforts to pull away and Harry wasn’t making him weak like the way Zayn does. And it irritates him more that even after 3 years of not seeing each other and having no communication at all, Zayn’s effect to him was intangible.

“So what are you planning to do now?” Harry snapped him away from his thoughts. “Will you wait for him to come home and start a conversation?”

“I have no idea at all, Haz. I don’t know what will happen if I see that face of him again. I just want to run away and hide, especially after what happened.” Louis buried his face on to the table; images of their sex in the bathroom flashed before him, making his whole body quiver in response.

“You can’t possibly run away forever, Lou.”

“I know –I have a lot of things to say to him, but he’s always attacking me and doing all these things. And even when I went home, I ended up sleeping early or confining myself inside my room, it’s driving me crazy.”

Harry smiled back at him as he turned his head towards Harry’s direction; the curly-haired lad tangled his fingers onto Louis’s locks, “Tell me, Louis. When are you going to properly ask him about the things you want to know?

“I don’t know. Maybe if I’m in the mood to talk to him – “

“How ‘bout now, Lou?”

The familiar voice that whispered in his ears left him paralyzed into his position. He was still facing Harry who wasn’t at any least looking at him anymore. He seemed to be drowning on whatever image was in front of him.

He gradually turned his head and sat up and what he saw in front of him literally made him fall from his chair.

There was Zayn again, wearing a smug on his face, his light brown eyes locked up on his as the Bradford bad boy leaned closer to him,

“Say Louis. I was wondering when you are going to ask me about these things you were saying.”

Louis remained in his position, his thoughts was scattered again. There was no room for him to breathe and all he wanted to happen was to disappear in that very moment.

“I can’t wait to hear what you are going to say, Lou.”


	5. Chapter 5

Louis was getting dragged by Zayn once again. He passed through the unfamiliar faces as they headed outside the Business section of the library. It happened so fast even before he could protest or kick Harry’s face for making him say things not knowing that Zayn was jus there, listening to their conversation. He could see Harry smiling ear to ear at him as he left the room; thinking that it was Harry’s sweet revenge for rejecting his confession. Another one who’s on the list for the people he’ll make him pay for putting him in trouble again with Zayn.

“Where the hell are we going?” Louis struggled to run away from him but after a few attempted failures, he decided to run with him.

“A place where we could talk.” Zayn looked back at him, smiling as he squeezed his hand, resulting to Louis, losing his composure by the sudden gush of blood behind his ears.

Zayn stopped into an open room with a sign that says, “Archives Section: Sorting on-going. Personnel Only.” Louis looked at him, almost begging him not to take another step inside but just as what he was expecting, of course, Zayn hauled him inside.

“If someone sees us staying here, I’m dead! You do know I’m the Student Council president and – “

“I know, I know. Just keep quiet and we’re not going to get caught, okay? Geez. You are such a worry bunny, Lou-Lou.” Zayn let out a soft chuckle as he pushed the door behind him and locking it, not leaving Louis’s eyes.

Louis trembled on his position, remembering their first encounter was exactly like this and he doesn’t want to end up with the same situation, after all.

Zayn stepped closer to him and implored him to take a seat in the floor since there was no sign of any chair or table around. It was just a room full of scattered books and boxes of folders and papers.

Louis fidgeted as he saw Zayn sitting in front of him, comfortably resting his right elbow on his knee and his other leg resting on the floor. “Here.” Zayn tapped onto the tile that was just an inch away from his body; if he sits in there, he’ll be in a position where he’s in between Zayn’s legs, unable to move or escape if he plans something drastic again.

He took a step away from him but Zayn didn’t seem to like what he did so he just yanked Louis on the floor and ended up being in the position he doesn’t want to be.

“So, you were saying?” The lad leaned closer to him, looking deeply into his eyes and smiling warmly at him.

Louis felt uneasy. Seeing that this is the first time they’re going to have a decent conversation without the attacks and kissing all over his body. Unfortunately, he’s not ready and his mind was completely malfunctioning again.

“I was thinking, about – how were you for the past three years?” Louis wanted to hit himself over the absurdity of his words; that wasn’t what he planned to ask. He wanted to know what Zayn was trying to do now that he was here again.

“You’re not quite sure about your question, huh?” Zayn sniggered; cocking his head on to his right shoulder as he began to speak, “Honestly, I was sad and angry when you left me, Lou.”

His chest tightened after he heard Zayn’s voice. It was different, it was deep and somehow it made him felt guilty. “How come he was able to say those words so easily? As if it was on his mind all the time, knowing what to answer on every question he’ll ask him. It’s unfair”. He thought. He felt the weight of Zayn’s stare at him, watching his every move and his expression.

“I didn’t know what I did wrong for you to leave like that. I had no idea how to find you and to think you cut off our communication? It drove me mad.” Louis didn’t realize that Zayn was already resting on his shoulders, breathing on his bare neck and letting every words sink into his skin.

“Stop that…” Louis muttered, his fist clenching on his knee, he was unable to move and this closeness was something he would never ever get used to.

“Then I thought about everything. I figured out why you ran away and it made me desperate enough to chase after you,” Zayn’s hands leisurely crawled onto his back, pulling him closer to him, “to find you.”

Louis shuddered when Zayn pressed his lips onto his neck; kissing and sucking it gradually.”Zayn. Will you – stop doing that…” Louis tried turned his face away from Zayn, but the Bradford bad boy’s hand locked it in place, tilting his face to give him more access to his neck.

“Why should I? You don’t have any idea how badly I want you, Lou. How much you made me fail to see you.” Zayn’s lips were now pressed on to his ears, whispering words that made Louis paralyzed into his position. “You’re driving me crazy.”

And before Louis could think of his retort to every statement Zayn uttered, their lips were crashing. Zayn cupped his cheeks and roughly conquered every inch of his mouth; biting and nipping his lips as if he was trying to tear it off. Both lads were indulged by the intertwining of their tongues; their bodies in rhythmical motion, filling themselves up with the pleasure of their mouths searching for one another.

“Say, Lou. How were you when I was not around? How does it feel like without me?”

Louis’s heart was beating rapidly, he wasn’t ready yet to tell him what he really felt when he was gone. He just couldn’t admit everything to this guy.

“Of course I was fine.”

“Really? You’ve never thought of me even for a day?” Zayn teased him, pushing himself closer to him; but Louis wanted to keep up with his answer, he won’t just give in to what this person wanted to hear from him.

“Never. Not even in my dreams.”

“Seriously, you’re making this one hard for both of us, Lou-Lou.” And with that, Zayn let go of his waist as he started to unbuckle his belt. “You keep wanting me to go farther and farther, don’t you?”

What the fuck are you doing?!” Louis stumbled on to the floor as he gaped in shock of seeing Zayn pulling down his pants in front of him. “This is not happening in this place, I swear – “

“You will what?” Louis felt speechless by the image that was in front of him. Zayn was leaning against the wall and his hands were stroking his own cock; looking deeply into his eyes, “I wanted to show you what you’re doing to me.”

“Fuck-! Are you going to jerk out in front of me, you idiot?! Is that all you could think about?” Louis was left paralyzed into his place, there was an uneasy feeling that was building up inside him; this was very unusual and he wanted to look away but it made no avail.

“This is what happens when I’m in this situation with you, Lou.How I hear your voice, the smell of your scent, how your lips taste, the way your body moves and your expression when you’re with me,” Zayn panted as he stroked himself faster, “I just can’t control myself.”

Louis struggled to look away, but the voice of Zayn echoing on his ear was stirring him up as well; he could feel his body wanting and craving for the touch of his hands. When he looked back, Zayn grabbed his hands and let him gripped on to his cock. “What the – “

“Stroke me, Lou-Lou.”

“I – I can’t –“ Louis’s body felt like bursting when he touched Zayn’s hard length, the heat and the sensation of it was making his whole body twitch.

“Of course you can. Let’s make each other feel good, don’t you say?” Zayn started to unbuckle his belt, easily pulling his pants together with his boxers and revealing his erection.

“Shit Zayn – what are you trying to – AH!” He felt Zayn gripped onto his length, “I can’t do this – “, Louis let go of Zayn’s cock and found himself clenching on Louis’s clothes, biting his tongue in complete restrain to make unnecessary noises.

“That’s so unfair of you, Lou.” Zayn yanked his waist and made their lengths bumping onto each other as Zayn straddled him. “Let’s feel each other then.”

Both of them moaned in each time their erections nudged and made contact.

“I hate you –Zayn. I fucking hate you – “ Louis groaned as he bit Zayn’s shoulders, unable to figure out how the hell was he suppose to suppress this feelings further.

“How ‘bout you try to be more honest?” Zayn’s fingers were now on his behind; rubbing onto his twitching spot. “You’re body is saying the complete opposite of what you’re telling me.”

“Shutupshutupshut-FUCK!” Louis arched his back as Zayn pressed his fingers inside him, pushing onto that part that made him unable to restrain his voice. Louis couldn’t control his body anymore as he pushed Zayn’s fingers within him; he wasn’t able to comprehend the fusion of all the pleasure he was experiencing by the moment: their erections nudging and Zayn fucking him with his fingers was making him pass out at any minute. “ZAYN!”

“You don’t what it does to me when you call out my name like that.” Zayn grunted; pulling his figners out as he lifted Louis’s hips and put in his cock on his ass. “Let’s finish this.”

Louis almost screamed by the way Zayn entered him and pushed faster inside him, “You’re not going to do this every fucking time – AH!”

“Of course.” Zayn smirked at him; grasping his hips tightly as he pushed into him harder and faster, their bodies colliding by the heat that both filled them inside.

“Always. Fucking. Mine.” Zayn stressed into his last three thrusts as he came hard inside Louis; making the Doncaster boy came as well.

They slumped onto the floor; Louis curled up as he catches his breath, closing his eyes by the recognition of his loss on Zayn once again. He felt Zayn’s hands on his waist as he covered his lower body with his jacket and finally hugging him.

“You’ve always been mine, Lou. Keep that in mind.”


	6. Chapter 6

Louis was on his way home, feeling exhausted from the tons of paper works that were handed down to him and the meetings that doesn’t seem to end. Inside the class, every professor just gave them the list of things to finish for their preliminary examination. And none of them was a piece of cake.

But what made Louis more tired was the thought that he have to face Zayn again, every single day; inside his home, making him feel uneasy in front of his family and always attempting to attack him inside his room. He was puzzled as he saw himself doing “it” with Zayn over again in the library; to think that he was the Student Council president and he was doing that sort of thing, it made him feel mortified of himself.

“Why should I? You don’t have any idea how badly I want you, Lou. How much you made me fail to see you.”

The voice of Zayn made him quiver, everytime he speak like that, his body was losing control. He could feel himself not following what he was thinking. His own body was betraying him.

“Then I thought about everything. I figured out why you ran away and it made me desperate enough to chase after you,”

He paused for awhile; taken aback by the words he just said. “Did he really know why I ran away?” His mind was suddenly filled with questions, “Was he in actual fact aware that I was feeling something that it made me drift away from him?” He gathered his thoughts and started walking again; only one more block before he arrives to his home and Louis couldn’t stop thinking about Zayn. He could see his resistance for him getting weaker as days passed by and it wasn’t in any way good news. What makes his heart throb even more was the feeling he was developing towards him. Day by day, Louis wanted to see him; even though he keeps on telling himself he doesn’t want to.

His heart would flutter and his stomach would churn by the sight of Zayn, and it was still unknown to Louis if he wanted to feel something like that again.

“Oh, honey, you’re here.” His mom opened the door for him and gently kissed him on his cheeks.

“What’s with the food? Are we expecting someone?” Louis veered onto the dining table; ten pieces of clubhouse sandwich and a pitcher of orange juice were prepared on a tray.

“Actually, they are already here. Zayn brought over some friends; he told me he’s going to tutor them. Will it be okay to you if you bring this to them?” Johannah made a pleading expression and Louis rolled his eyes in response before he kissed back his mom and gave her a wink.

“Of course.”

Louis was only halfway onto the stairs and he could already hear the faint giggle inside his room. He suddenly realized that he never saw Zayn’s friends in the University and he was feeling anxious. He wondered how Zayn will introduce him; thinking he better not embarrass him in front of his friends.

What Louis didn’t expect was the sight he laid his eyes on. Zayn was sleeping on his bed, two girls resting their heads over his shoulder and a taller guy taking pictures of them; the other two were playing cards and another guy was fussing over his table.

The tall guy noticed him and started to kick the bed, enough to wake the three; the other lad saw what the guy did and looked into his direction, realizing it wasn’t just the Student Council president, but also the owner of the room, he elbowed his other friend and they scurried to clean up whatever mess was on the floor.

“Lou, you’re here.” Zayn was sluggishly rubbing his eyes as he smiled at him, but he felt different all of a sudden as he ignored him. The guy who was on his table doesn’t seem to notice his presence and continues to look over his stuff; something Louis hated the most. He was almost an inch away from him, and there he slammed the tray in front of him.

“Who the hell told you to touch my stuff?” Louis glared at him, and the brunette guy almost fell from his chair. He didn’t know why he was feeling irritated all of a sudden; he was quite aware it wasn’t just the noise, or this stupid guy touching his stuff; he looked back into the bed, and there he saw it again. Zayn with those two girls who were watching him in astonishment of what he just did.

“Lou, I’m sorry, I was the one who said he should sit there. It’s my fault.” Zayn got up from his bed as he walked towards his direction; he saw Zayn’s hand reaching over his shoulder, “Don’t be angry – “

“Get away from me.” Louis scowled back at him; there was something inside him that he knew he wasn’t suppose to feel; but he couldn’t just take it. He saw the image of Zayn with those two girls, in his bed, for God’s sake. He walks past through him and the dead silence inside the room didn’t even bother him.

“Good luck with your group study.” Louis declared without looking back at them as he furiously shut the door behind him.

“Lou!” Zayn was able to grab his arm before he could take a step down the stairs. “What was that back there? Why did you act like that?”

“I don’t like people touching my stuff, Zayn, and I’m exhausted.” Louis didn’t look back at him; struggling to pull away from him.

“What’s wrong? Are you mad because I brought my friends? I know this isn’t just about some guy touching your stuff.”

“NO! Let me go!” This time, he wanted to get away from Zayn so badly. He doesn’t want to see his face; that face that was comfortably sleeping on his bed with those girls. How he felt stupid for everything he was thinking about him.

“Why are you being like this? Did I do something wrong? Tell me!” Zayn was pulling him closer, his eyes were burning as he looked into Louis’s eyes, his grip getting tighter and there was no room for Louis to run away.

“Nothing. Just go back in there.” He bend his head down, biting his tongue in desperation not to utter any more word. For a moment, he thought of all the things Zayn told him, how he was crazy for him, how he wanted him badly and how much Zayn missed him.

“You do know that if you keep on doing this, I’ll definitely do something.” Zayn’s voice abruptly changed. It was enough to make his knees quiver and he wasn’t able to resist the urge to look into Zayn’s burning gaze at him. “I’ll make you talk, Louis.”

“If you’re thinking about me having sex with you, that is definitely not going to happen.” Louis pulled his arm one last time and Zayn finally let him go with a ghost of smile on his face.

“Oh, really? You should be really careful with what you’re saying Lou-Lou.”

“Yeah? Well, I’m going to tell you this once again: I hate you, Zayn. I fucking hate you. Remember that. You are my worst enemy and I’m not going to lose.”

“You’re going to regret this one.”

“Let’s see about that, Malik.” Louis turns around as he walks his way down the stairs, he doesn’t know what to actually feel right now. Just a moment ago, he was exhausted, he was angry and now he felt like taking every word he just said.

It finally came to his senses: He didn’t just challenge Zayn Malik, did he?


	7. Chapter 7

“You look so fucking tired, Lou.” Harry grinned at him across the table. They’re having their lunch at the cafeteria but Louis preferred to bury his head on the table, fall asleep, rather than eat his food. “God. Don’t tell me this is about Zayn again.”

“Don’t even ask.” Louis grunted; not moving an inch from his position. He never felt this tired before. It was as if Zayn topped all his worries as a student and as the president of the student council.

“Are you still avoiding him?” Harry continued to asked, not minding the crumbs that fell from his mouth as he took a large bite from his burritos. Muffling down the words, “Man. Sure got a lot of self-control.”

Louis tilted his head and looked at his friend’s direction, “Who? Me?”

“As if I’m talking about you. Of course it’s Zayn.” The curly-haired lad smirked and went back to taking big bites from his food. “If I were him, I’d attack you somewhere. Somewhere where you can’t run or no one will ever hear you.” Harry teased him.

“Shut up and eat, Styles.” Louis ordered him; at last, he sat up and pondered on the words that added up on his worries for the past few weeks. After the day he was caught up with his emotions, he didn’t realize he just challenged the worst guy to deal with: Zayn Malik.

For the worst case scenario: it was something about not having sex. And Louis thought that he should’ve thought about what he said first. For the first few days, Zayn didn’t stop teasing him, slightly touching him and whispering at him when he was totally unaware of his presence. The Bradford Bad boy wouldn’t stop asking him about what he was getting mad at every night and even though he threatened him doing a lot of ‘things’, Louis managed to survive without being attacked by Zayn.

But a week after that, Zayn showed signs of giving up, if that’s how you call it. He wouldn’t do those things he did to Louis before. They still talk but it was only for necessary things. And day by day, he felt like Zayn was getting cold at him. He admitted that he liked what actually happened; back to the normal days. But when he’s around Zayn, nothing could ever be normal.

“I could clearly see you missing somebody.” Harry interjected with his thoughts.

“W-what? Me? Missing Zayn? You gotta be kidding me. That’s not going to happen.” Louis defended. “This is much better. No more annoying person bugging me everytime and doing perverted things.” He knew it was better. It was supposed to be better. But Louis knew it wasn’t just right. He hated Zayn. But he missed his company. He doesn’t know what he was actually feeling but it was too familiar. As if everything happened before already. There were flashbacks, but before Louis could actually see them, Harry interrupted his thoughts once again.

“Oh don’t say bullshit on me Louis. I swear, one more night of avoiding that guy. He would snap.”Harry threatened him, a playful ghost of smile marking on his face.

“Snap? You mean like Zayn is just gonna punch me out of nowhere? That’s impossible.”

“No. Of course not that kind of snap. Snap! Like he will just stop asking and be patient with you for not answering his question and for not having sex with you so he’ll lock you up in a room and then bang you non-st – OW!” Harry grabbed a hold of his nape as he felt a sudden gush of pain. “What the hell was that for?”

“That’s for talking that kind of topic with me, Haz.” Louis chuckled, but Harry could almost hear the embarrassment from his friend’s voice. “Now shut up and finish your food.”

“Psssh. You’re the one who asked, idiot. And you’re being too damned obvious.”

“One more, Haz and you’ll miss lunch.” Louis finally looked away, back from being drowned by his thoughts.

XXX

“Miss him? Like that would even happen.” Louis shun Harry’s words that has been bothering his mind for the rest of the day as he walked his way home. He was able to successfully avoid Zayn for three weeks straight and another day would be just a piece of cake. He smiled and told himself what he was just supposed to do: keep himself busy, spend more time with his siblings (so that Zayn wouldn’t do anything weird to him) and lastly, sleeping later than Zayn. In that way, he’s sure that his roommate wouldn’t do anything at him.

He finally reached the door to his house and he realized that there was not a single noise that was coming from inside. “Everyone should be home by now.” Louis said it out loud as he searched for his spare key somewhere inside his satchel. It was quite impossible not to hear the boisterous laughs of his siblings, thus his mom and dad watching their favourite TV show.

“Well, they all went out.”

Louis jumped out not out of surprise but because of the voice he heard behind him. When he turned around, it was Zayn. Wearing a beanie, his grey hoodie and a grey sweatpants to match it. He glanced over Zayn’s hands and saw two bags of groceries.

“Sorry, did I surprise you?” Zayn spoke to him in a natural manner, and Louis remained in his position, still staring blankly at Zayn. “Well, I think this is the time wherein we come inside the house.” The other lad walked past Louis, put out his own keys and in a few turns, the door was open. Zayn smiled at him as they both entered the house, and it was enough to make Louis nervous all of a sudden.

“Where’s everybody?

“Johannah said her friend was depressed and that she badly needed company. And everyone got excited when they learned about her friend’s backyard pool. They all went with her. She said they’ll be spending the night there.”

Louis wasn’t sure he heard the right words that came from Zayn’s mouth. His whole family will be spending the night in there. A night without anyone except the two of them. This is wrong. He thought. This was something he didn’t want to happen and there was no way he could actually change it.

“So, you hungry?” Zayn’s head suddenly popped in front of him out of fucking nowhere. And there, he fell from his seat. “Oh shit, Louis! I’m sorry – “

He felt a slight pain from his back, his legs were still on the seat of the chair making him look like a child trying hard not to fall from his chair but eventually, he did. He find himself in an awfully, awkward and funny position. Something he didn’t want the Bradford bad boy to see. Louis could actually feel it: his body losing control again, his brain not listening to what he’s saying, words suddenly coming out of his mouth and the tensed air choking him.

He needs to get away. Fast.


	8. Chapter 8

“Come here, let me help you get up.” Zayn’s hands slowly moved towards his arms and before his other hand could touch him, he backed away.

“I-I’m fine. Just prepare the food. I’ll just go change my clothes.” Louis hastily stood up and walk past through him. When he finally reached their room, Louis managed to catch his breath; his heart was beating rapidly from the image of Zayn suddenly popping out in front of him. It was all wrong. He just wanted this day to end as fast as possible.

“You’re just in time. It’s still hot, so be careful.” Zayn handed him his plate across the table. They were facing each other, and all Louis could do was to stare at the food served by Zayn.

And then there was silence. Only the sound of the spoon and fork clinking on the plate was heard. Louis knew Zayn was staring at him. He could feel the weight of his stare in each movement he makes. He made it to a point wherein Louis had to swallow everything in one go and finally, he was able to finish his food. “Just go upstairs and sleep, just go upstairs and sleep…” He hoped that Zayn would just leave the table and head towards their room.

“Why are you such in a hurry, Lou-Lou?” He suddenly felt paralyzed by the sudden heat that was pressed against his back. “You’ve been like this for three weeks already, aren’t you tired?” Zayn huffed on his nape and in each second, he could feel Zayn’s wet lips pressing on his skin.

Louis bit his lip hard enough to stop himself. He was pinned by Zayn in front of the sink and all he could do was to stare at those plates, waiting to be washed and stacked.

“How long do you think you could keep this up?” Zayn whispered on his ears, as he pushed him harder onto the counter. “What did I tell you about running away?”

Zayn suddenly bit him hard on his neck, the lad feeling the gush of heat wrapping around his body. Louis gripped the tiled counter, unable to do something over Zayn’s tongue trailing all over his jaw line.

“S-stop this.” Louis struggled to move, but as usual, it made no use. Zayn had already pinned him on that position and there was nothing he could do about it.

“That everytime you try to run away, I’ll go farther and farther.” Zayn nudged his pelvis on Louis’s arse, and he almost moaned when he felt Zayn’s length brushing along the thin fabric of his pants. “But I’ll give you some consideration tonight.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?” Louis tried to turn around but Zayn’s chin resting on his shoulder left him static. “If this is about –“

“I’ll give you a choice: tell me what happened back there on our room and I’m not going to do something to you today or, you could just admit defeat and let me have you tonight.” Louis felt the smirk of Zayn’s lips on his skin. This is another game of Zayn. Choosing any of them would mean his loss. And he’s not planning to sleep with a lost battle tonight.

“No. I’m not choosing anything you bastard, now get off me!” Louis resisted once again but this time, Zayn had his arms placed on his right and left side. He was trapped.

“Wrong answer, Tomlinson.” Louis heard the shift of Zayn’s voice from gentle to a voice that could actually scare any living creature who heard him. He remembered Harry’s statement, did he just make Zayn Malik snap?

“I am trying my best to be kind to you. But you leave me no fucking choice. I’m going to make you talk. Right here. Right now.”

Zayn rocked his hips on Louis’s arse, pushing harder and harder and leaving Louis whimpering for the sensation that was filling his whole system. The lad could no longer control his body, as his back slowly arched in response, pushing his arse onto Zayn’s rubbing length. He could feel his erection on his PJ’s and the thin fabric makes him feel Zayn even more.

“You’ve challenged me, and then you’re going to avoid me? That’s unfair.” Zayn’s hands was suddenly placed on Louis’s pants and he could feel Zayn’s hands slowly stroking his length. “Fucking unfair.”

“Ah-Don’t-“Louis bobbed his head down, clenching his fist by the reality that this is happening again. He couldn’t stop him. But Zayn did not stop there, he kept on rocking his hips, pushing it onto his arse, his hard length nudging on him over and over again. “You. Fucking. Bastard.”

He heard Zayn huffed and it followed with a quick motion of Louis’s Pj’s being pulled down together with his boxers and then he was out of his clothes once again. Louis gasped by the gush of cold air on his skin. “I tried my best to be patient, Lou-Lou. Not to talk to you, not to disturb you. But tonight – “ Zayn paused as he removed his sweatpants, revealing his hard erection and he went back to holding Louis’s waist.

“Tonight’s different – we’re alone, Louis. And no one could ever hear you curse my fucking name. I won’t let you sleep peacefully tonight.”

Before Louis could react, Zayn twisted him and pulled him as they their lips crashed. Zayn vigorously trailing his tongue inside Louis, and the Doncaster lad moaning and catching his breath by the smothered kisses Zayn was giving him as well as their lengths making contact.

Louis was too late to realize he was lying on his back on their dining table and he tried to lift his body with his elbows, but Zayn was already on top of him. “Where do you think you’re going?”

“Fuck you, Zayn! I’m not going to have sex with you - !” Louis shouted at him, and it was as if Zayn knew what he was talking about that he gave him a sardonic smile.

“Who told you that you can tell me where the hell would I want to fuck you, Lou?” Zayn pressed his body on Louis who let out another moan by the slow motion of Zayn rubbing their lengths. “Ah – So good – haven’t touch you for three weeks – “

Louis couldn’t find himself anything to hold onto, so he was left with no choice of holding onto Zayn’s arms, as the Bradford bad boy held his hips and made his spot rub against his shaft. “FUCKING HELL!” Louis gasped as he buried his nails on Zayn’s skin. Unable to restrain his voice by the aroused feeling that was fucking his whole body.

“Missed this feeling, Lou-Lou?” Zayn’s fingers, rubbed against his spot, circling on that twitching spot of him. He inserted the first one, feeling the tightness of Louis and the lad arched his back by pain fused inside him. “You’ve been so tight – yeah?”

Louis mind went blank. There was no use of responding anymore. He grunted as Zayn entered another finger and scissor them inside. Zayn repeated them in a slow pace and Louis could only shut his eyes.

Louis felt Zayn’s wet fingers touch his lips, “Suck.” He commanded, and with a flustered look on his face, he sucked them, his tongue cleaning his own cum, “Goddamit. You have no idea how illegal that face of yours is.”

“What the hell?”

“You’re turning me on even more, Louis.”

And with that, Zayn entered inside him with a loud groan, slowly pushing his whole length inside Louis. “God. So fucking tight – uh – “

Louis gripped Zayn tighter as he locked his hips around him. He didn’t know what it was: Zayn being angry at him, them doing it again or the fact that Zayn hadn’t leave his sight the moment they entered the house. “Fuck – Always getting what he want –“

“You should know that you’re mine Lou. Always mine. How many times should I tell you that?” Zayn seemed to have adjusted himself already, and without asking Louis, he thrust inside him.

“HOLYSHIT - !” Louis arched his back, whimpering over the sudden pain that penetrated inside him. He could see Zayn’s eyes: was he angry for not saying anything to him? For challenging him on not having sex? For avoiding him? He wanted to know.

“You seem to have a lot in mind.” Zayn pulled out slowly, and then pushed inside him again. Zayn gripped the other end of the table as he pushed harder inside him, hitting his hilt every single thrust, soft moans filled the house which was silent a while ago.

“I’m c-coming –“ Louis pulled himself closer to Zayn, feeling the tightness of his stomach coming to a close, “hu-hurry up –“

“Not yet. Lou. We’re not yet –Ah – Fucking done – “ Zayn went on a faster pace, Louis losing his grip onto Zayn’s arms, “Don’t let go. Just. Touch me.” Zayn pressed his body closer to Louis, and his voice wasn’t just gentle, it was pleading. Pleading for his touch. “Don’t you dare let me go, Louis.”

He didn’t have any idea how to react or say anything, but he did what Zayn had asked him. Louis’s hands reached Zayn’s back and scratched them as he felt Zayn come inside him and so was him, releasing himself.

Zayn gently pulled out and pressed his body on him. Both of them panting, hearing their loud gasps. “I missed you Louis. So much – “ Zayn buried his head on his shoulders, and Lousi could feel his heart fluttering by the words Zayn had just told him. “Why the hell do you have to keep on avoiding me?” He could hear the anger behind Zayn’s words and he couldn’t help himself but to feel guilty and angry as well. Why wouldn’t he? After sending emotional turmoils inside him, he’ll find him sleeping comfortably with those girls?

“I – I’m sorry.” Louis whispered to him. His hands, gently moving towards his hair, and slowly tangling his fingers along his unquiffed hair. “I’m sorry for avoiding you.”

“Tell me the good reason behind that and I forgive you.” Zayn pushed himself up, his face just an inch away from Louis’s, and they could almost smell their scent, hear their voices enough even with mumbles or whispers and could feel each breath. “What happened back there?”

Louis bit his lips. If he would tell it to Zayn, would that change anything? Would that make him look like he was acting like his girlfriend even though he was not? But seeing Zayn’s light-brown eyes, stare at him, pleading him for the truth, who could resist him?

“ I saw you. With those two girls. Sleeping comfortably on my bed.” Louis looked away, he felt embarrassed. He felt like a child trying to get attention, and now he got it. What’s he going to do next?

“That’s it?” He wasn’t able to catch up on what was Zayn’s tone, but he nodded. “You were jealous?”

“W-What?! Bloody hell, no! I was just thinking about you – me – I don’t know –“ Louis covered his face with both of his palms, he wasn’t sure why. It wasn’t jealousy. All he wanted to know at that time was if Zayn was serious about him and he wasn’t just some kind of sex friend.

“Fine. If you wouldn’t accept it as jealousy, suit yourself. But I think I owe you an explanation.” Zayn gently removed Louis hands that were covering his face. “I was asleep on your bed before they came in, I told them to just knock, but they didn’t and so that was the situation I was caught into.”

Louis was silently watching him. It was impossible not to see the sincerity from those eyes. Even though sometimes, those eyes look at him with passion, or with anger, the sincerity behind his eyes made his whole body quiver.

“I like to sleep on your bed when you’re not around, Lou.” Zayn moved closer and planted a gentle kiss on his lips. And for the first time, Louis didn’t hesitate to respond. Louis wrapped around his arms around Zayn’s neck, their lips locking, slowly, they kissed and Zayn lifted him up, carrying him in his arms while Louis legs wrapped around him.

Thye kissed, and Zayn’s lips moved on his neck, his earlobes, his jawline, and then back to Louis’s lips as Zayn carried him all the way upstairs, towards their room.

It took them a minute to finally open the door and Zayn kindly laid Louis on his bed. They weren’t saying anything, it was as if they knew what was going to happen. Zayn continued to kiss the lad’s whole body. Sucking every inch of his tanned, sweet skin and Louis moaned in each nibble of Zayn on him.

“Turn around.” Zayn whispered onto Louis ears and again, Louis followed obediently. He didn’t care anymore. He knows he wanted Zayn, and Zayn wanted him as well. And that was enough. “You’re so perfect.” Zayn held his hips and slowly bend his head to reach over Louis’s entrance.

“Ah-! It-It still hurts – “ Louis whined as he clenched the sheets on his bed.

“Shh. Don’t worry, I’ll make you feel good and ready for another one.” Zayn reassured him and after that, Louis was left alone as he gasped for air, moved his body uncontrollably as he felt Zayn’s tongue circle on his spot, slightly trailing his tongue, around it and licking them in slow motion.

“D-Do it, Zayn. Just fucking do it – “

“What is it?”

“Fuck me – “ Lousi looked back at him, his blue eyes gleamed and pleaded him. He never wanted Zayn so bad, but he was happy. He didn’t want to forget this night. “Please-“

“Who can resist a request like that?” Zayn lifted his hips, as he knelt down on the bed, “This will be a little bit faster since you have been turning me on for quite some time already.” After that, Zayn pushed him inside him again, making Louis bury his face onto the sheets. He muffled every moan on those fabrics and getting more and more aroused by the way Zayn grunts and moans together with him.

“This should be the last time you’ll run away from me or you’ll really regret it, understood?” Zayn heavily breathed, not stopping from pushing deeper and deeper onto Louis.

“Y-Yes – God – So good – harder –“ Louis tilted his head, his mouth agape, smothered by the heat that made him push his arse on Zayn’s cock as well.

Zayn held Louis’s legs and made close them together, “HOLYFUCK - -!” His legs being close together made his inside tighter, and it brought a different pleasure inside Louis. “It’s so tight ahh –“

“Yeah? It’s good. Ugh – I could do this to you every single time and you could still be so tight – Ah” Zayn found his favourite spot ot bite Louis and there he buried his teeth as he went faster, even Louis wasn’t able to get into his rhythm anymore.

“FUCKFUCKFUCK – so fast – I can’t – I’m coming – AHHH!” Louis released on the sheets, but it wasn’t over. “SHIT – How long are you going to keep your – AH – fucking orgasm – !”

“Slight punishment, Lou-Lou.” He could hear his smile again, and in a few more hard thrusts, Zayn came hard inside him.

They both stared into the ceiling. Hearing themselves catch their own breath and comprehend what happened.

Zayn moved closer to Louis, putting his right arm under Louis’s head so his head rests on his arms and the other one wrapped him closer. “I knew you’ve always been thinking about me.”

“Shut up.” Louis mumbled, feeling the droopiness on his eyes. But he felt good. It was the warmth of Zayn he missed the most.

“I like you, Lou-Lou.”

He didn’t know how to respond; if he was obliged to say something. And so beneath the white duvet, with their bare bodies huddle for warmth, he pretended to be asleep. The familiar feeling was there again. It was never gone. And one of these days, he need to finally deal with it.


	9. Chapter 9

Louis was awaken by the warm sheet of light that rested on his eyes. He gradually opened them and a smile marked on his face as he viewed the vivid sky outside his window. There was a stinging pain on his back as he made a small move, only realizing what happened last night. Before the images could even play on his mind, he was surprised by the fact that he was on his clothes again. He felt his PJ’s and so was his shirt last night.

He tried to bigger movements but there was something on his waist that made it hard for him to move. He looked down and realizing it was Zayn’s arms comfortably resting on his body, he yanked away.

He turned around, thinking that he would’ve awaken Zayn, but he didn’t seem to be bothered by anything as he continued to be in his deep slumber, gently snoring in front of Louis. He couldn’t help but to stare for a moment. He’s so beautiful. Louis thought. His strong face structure, his messy, unquiffed hair, the way the sunlight hit his neck, it was just too impossible not to gaze at him.

He felt the urge to touch him, his hair or his face, but then he backed away. There’s no way it could just happen. He went back on staring at him, wandering why the hell is Zayn Malik on his bed right now. Wandering why is he even here. What’s he planning to do after this. Suddenly showing himself after three years, living with him and even sharing a room with him and ruining his completely planned out life. It was hard to figure out.

Zayn Malik was hard to figure out.

“You seem to enjoy staring at me, Lou-Lou.” Zayn’s voice didn’t seem to be real at first, but seeing that familiar smug on his face, Louis knew he wasn’t in any way dreaming.

“Y-you’re awake!” Louis backed away and without waiting for his reply, he turned his back, facing away from Zayn and covering his face in embarrassment with a pillow.

He felt Zayn’s arms crawled back to his waist, leaving him paralyzed and out of words again. “Of course I am. I was watching you sleep.” Zayn pulled himself closer and Louis could almost feel the lack of space between his back and his chest. It made him hard to breathe.

“So you were faking it when I turned around!”

“It’s disappointing that you didn’t continue to touch me, I would’ve attacked you.” He heard Zayn’s soft chuckle on his ear.

“Shut up. Move away.” Zayn was now pressing his whole body onto Louis’s, his hot breathe blowing on his tousled hair; it was unbearable. He moved his legs, there was something familiar about this feeling building up inside him and he was restraining himself.

“Last night was incredible, Lou. You were so hot and –“

“Shut it, Malik! I don’t want to remember anything that happened last night!” Louis strongly denied although the images was there in front of him.

“Oh really? Don’t you want to remember how we did it here, in your bed?” Together with Zayn’s whispers was the slow movement of his pelvis, teasingly thrusting on Louis’s arse. Doing everything on purpose, again.

“S-Stop,” Louis stuttered, “I don’t want to talk about it.” Louis bit his tongue in restrain; the sudden gush of heat has sprawled all over his body and he could already feel Zayn’s hard cock nudging on his behind.

“Of course you don’t want to. But I do, Louis. Your voice last night was amazing.” Zayn drew closer, his legs now hooked on Louis so he was unable to move, “I feel like I want to hear them again.” He bit his earlobes and trailed his tongue on his nape, making Louis shudder in his position.

Louis gasped; his back was slowly arching its way to Zayn’s thrusting; even though there was the fabric that divides them; the way Zayn moves was just too impossible to resist. His body was on its own again. He could almost feel the tightening of his own pants and it wasn’t helping either.

“Zayn…” Louis turned his head on the pillow, biting his lips and his hands holding tightly on the sheets as Zayn’s hands were inside his shirt. His cold hands gently rubbing his whole torso, stopping to pull him closer to him; feeling his length getting harder and harder.

“I told you things like this were better than breakfast.” Zayn bit his shoulders as his hands went over to his nipples, gently tugging them and playing with them as they get hard and Louis could feel the lack of air as Zayn continued to do them without stopping. “Look how lewdly your body moves, Lou.”

Louis lost count on how many times he has given up on Zayn, attacking him and leaving him wanting for more. It was so unfair. And so before Zayn could move again, Louis made an effort to turn his body around, breaking away from Zayn and was finally able to move an inch away from him.

“I-I told you you’re not going to do this every fucking time, you pervert.” Louis sat up and threw Zayn one of his pillows as he fixed his shirt.

“As interesting as always, Louis.” Zayn replied with a chuckle as he pulled Louis back to the bed, but he didn’t do anything afterwards. “I wonder how far are you going to restrain yourself.”

“I’m not restraining myself on anything.” Louis lied on his back as he stared at the ceiling.

“You should give in sometimes, like what you did last night.”

“I said don’t talk about it!” Louis turned and threw Zayn more of his pillows, playfully kicking him out of the bed while Zayn do his best that he can to regain his balance one throw from another. When Louis finally saw the opportunity of Zayn losing his balance, he gave another kick and THUD, Zayn was down on the floor.

“HA! Now that’s Louis Tomlinson for you!” Louis cheekily announced as he watched Zayn trying hard to sit. But the moment Zayn was able to sit, he dragged Louis down, only leaving another large knock on the floor as Louis fell on Zayn’s chest.

“Alright, alright. I’ll stop mentioning about last night,”

“Are you-“

“Only if there’s an exchange.”

“I fucking knew it!” Louis grunted.

“Let’s have a date.” Zayn’s eyes looked at him seriously and he felt his heart skip a beat. He was suddenly lost for words. It was as if Zayn had asked him a hard question.

“A-what?” Louis pretend not to hear what he asked and tried to get away from Zayn but Zayn had locked him inside his arms; hugging him like a big pillow.

“You heard me. I want a date. We’re going to watch a movie, then off to dinner, then drink and then some hot, steamy shmex –“ Zayn’s last words were muffled by Louis’s hands suddenly covering his mouth.

“For once, will you stop thinking about it?”

Zayn looked at him and smiled behind his hands, sighing and then followed by two eager nods.

“Good.” He finally let go of his mouth and as he did, Zayn crashed his lips onto Louis, turning their bodies around as Zayn was now on top of Lou. Louis tried to get away again but it was impossible now that he’s being topped by Zayn. Louis felt his whole body getting weak as Zayn moved his tongue inside him and so was his hips rocking onto pelvis.

“Louis? Are you awake?” Johannah’s voice made the Zayn pause and Louis took the opportunity to get away. He rushed towards the door and signalled Zayn to fix himself.

“Y-yeah? What is it?”

His mom handed him their phone and he reluctantly received it.

“Hello?”

“Lou? It’s me, Liam.”

XXX

“Are you an idiot? Why the hell did you accept it?” Harry’s voice rung onto his head as Louis ate his lunch. “Don’t tell me you agree with this, Zayn.” Harry shifted to Zayn’s direction who was obviously not listening to him rant or was just ignoring him.

Louis paused for a while after watching Zayn completely ignoring his friend, “Harry, of course I will accept it. Liam’s my friend. OUR friend. You should be happy about my decision.”

“Of course I will accept it. Liam’s my friend.” Harry mimicked Louis. “I don’t have nothing against him asking for help, but why you? Of all the people? Of all his friends! You are so goddamn busy on your SC duties already. He should know about it. Fucking idiot.” He shouted, as he swing his arms up in the air.

“He’s aware of that Harry. And besides, he asked you as well. But as usual, you rejected him. It wasn’t just me. And I’ll only be working on Friday and Saturday evenings.” Louis defended.

Harry turned to Zayn; trying to talk to him again, “Are you hearing this? Do you hear yourself, Mr. Louis Tomlinson? Fridays and Saturdays? Those are the days wherein every human being wants to get wasted. Meaning: that’s the busiest day. Meaning: you’ll work harder than the rest of the part time workers there. And to conclude it, you’ll get exhausted. Not to mention those are the only days wherein you’re able to rest! Who are you trying to be, superman? Saving every human’s dilemma? Give me a break.”

“He used to sit here with us, Harry. He was our friend before he left too. If I asked for your help, you could’ve done the same thing.”

“’Course I will, because it’s you. Louis Tomlinson. Not Liam Payne. We still disagree with this, right Zayn?” Zayn just gave him a smirk and he went back to his food.

Louis can’t help but to notice the sudden change of Zayn’s mood ever since they left the house. He was wondering if it was something about their date, him, not giving his answer yet or was it because of the decision he made for working on Friday and Saturday. Not that he cared if Zayn cared but, at least, he wanted to know what he thought about it.

“Well, I don’t need your permission on this, Mr. Styles.” Louis stood up and swallowed his last scoop of ice cream, “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have some meeting to attend to. Have a nice lunch and don’t do anything stupid. See you guys around.” And with that, Louis left the two lads on their table.

“What the hell was that? I can’t believe you just let him off like that without disagreeing with him!” Harry continued but this time, he didn’t look back at Zayn.

“Who said I was letting him off? This is his decision. And scolding him is not my forte, Harry.” Zayn dropped his fork and turned his chair to face the grumpy, curly-haired lad. “Now, if you want to help Louis, tell me about this bar where Liam Payne works.”

“Louis said don’t do anything stupid, Zayn.”

“I‘m not. Actually, I’m going to help that Liam.” And Harry seem to know what was going on inside Zayn’s head as they both sardonically smiled in silence.


	10. Chapter 10

Louis uncomfortably sat on their couch as he caught Zayn staring at him as he talked to Liam over the phone. They’ve been talking non-stop about what happened over the past two years they hadn’t met and Louis was glad something like this happened; something that would get Zayn off of his mind. He wanted to thank Liam but it would only mean that he had to open the topic and so, he rejected the thought of it.

“You seem like you’re having a lot of fun talking to him.” Zayn sneered at him as Louis put down the phone in the end table. “You’ve been talking for hours.”

“Leave it alone, Zayn. He’s my friend and we missed a lot of things.” Louis glared back, sitting back on the couch, inches away from Zayn. “We have a lot to talk about.”

“You didn’t see each other for two years and you’re talking to him non-stop?”

“You got a problem with that?” Louis raised his voice, feeling that Zayn was trying to argue with him.

Zayn stared at him for a while, which made him uneasy, as if Zayn was trying to tell him something he already knew, and although he expected yet another reply, Zayn just looked away.

“Never mind.” He whispered enough for him to hear as he watched Zayn went upstairs, leaving him alone in the couch, half-expecting of Zayn’s usual nudging.

XXX

Louis glanced at their clock; it was now 5:45 pm, and he was all set for his first day at the bar. He turned around and looked himself in front of the mirror. He wore a white long-sleeve, all buttoned up and black fitted pants, and he smiled as he observed how professional he was over his clothes.

He heard the door opened and in one swift motion, he went back to packing some of his things on his satchel: perfume, extra shirt and towel, a bottle of water and a jacket. He saw in the corner of his eyes Zayn walking inside the room.

“Looks like you’re all set.” Zayn looked into his way; his voice somehow changed moments ago. “Good luck on your first day.”

“Y-yeah.” He felt his words slurred as he spoke, he still didn’t have any idea what Zayn thought of when he accepted Liam’s offer to him. And Zayn’s mood swing was getting worse to deal with. He followed Zayn with his eyes as he went over to his closet. “You’re heading outside, too?”

“Mmhmm.” Zayn replied without looking at him. Louis didn’t know how to feel about it but he knew there was something going on. He shun the idea away as he help himself to stand before the mirror one last time. He was ready to help Liam and for the next coming nights, he’s all set to get away from Zayn for a while.

XXX

“LOUIS!” Liam’s voice welcomed him as he entered the empty bar, he looked up and saw how drastic Liam had changed; it could be his haircut or his voice or his built but he admitted Liam looked way better than he was for the past 12 months. “God! Look at you! You’ve changed a lot.” Liam offered a hug and Louis didn’t hesitate to hug him back. “I miss you guys a lot.”

“I’m sorry Harry couldn’t be here today.” Louis gently pulled away although he felt Liam wanted stayed a little bit longer. “You knew him.”

“Oh, Harold, always busy with a lot of things, eh? Doesn’t matter, though. You’re here, and I’m more than grateful.” Liam put his arms on his shoulders as he guided him towards their workstation. “A few days after you accepted my offer, Harry recommended me someone who was willing to help too.”

Louis looked a little bit surprised. Harry didn’t mention to him anything about recommending to Liam anyone. It could be anyone from his class but Louis couldn’t get it out of his head.

“He texted me he’s going to be a little bit late though, so you might get to meet him later.”

Louis just nodded and right after their small talk, Liam started to give him the basics he need to know about serving drinks, handling customers and learning some basic tricks in making a drink. It wasn’t long since he realized that the night had started to deepen and people were starting to enter the bar. He was able to learn a lot of things, thanks to the great supervision of Liam.

Right after he served two women who was starting to flirt with him, Liam called him inside the kitchen. He was relieved he didn’t have to deal with the situation.

“I told you I’m going to let you meet the other one who’s willing to help us.” Liam gleefully announced as he dragged him all the way inside. “He’s a fine man, and I’m sure you two will get along really well. He already got an experience when it comes to the bar so he can teach you a lot of things as well.”

To his horror, he saw Zayn walking to their way, smiling at him with innocent eyes. He was wearing the same clothes as Louis, only that he folded the sleeves upto his elbow. Louis couldn’t believe the person who was standing right next to him. Zayn Malik. Of all the people he’s going to spend his nights with, why him? And then he realized Harry was involved into this. One day he will just have to learn his lesson, Louis thought. But it was too late now.

“What the hell are you doing here?” Louis glowered at Zayn who was fixing his sleeves with complete delight.

“That question is quite familiar, don’t you think, Lou-Lou?” Zayn looked back at him with a smirk. “I came here to help Liam Payne.” Zayn replied without pause.

“Help, my ass. And when did you get an experience about handling a bar?” Louis didn’t break away from his stare, “You’re up to something again, Zayn. Don’t you dare ruin my days in here.”

“I won’t. Now can I get back to my station? I think they needed my help.” Zayn immediately turn his back away from Louis even before he could utter another word. He was shocked by how cold Zayn treated him; as if they weren’t friends or anything and it bothered Louis even more. He was getting confused day by day on how he was supposed to deal with his attitude. He tried hard not to think too much about it; but he knew he always wanted Zayn’s attention.

They were back to their own stations and although Liam was there, Louis can’t seem to get Zayn out of his head. He could suddenly attack him in there, or tease him or do something perverted, and he needed to be alert. And so he drifted his attention more to Liam. He asked him a lot of things, talked to him whenever he was free and slowly, he forgot that Zayn was even there.

As they were both indulged into their conversations, two women approached them.

“Can we order some margaritas, please? And we hope you guys have your numbers in it.” They both giggled as they placed a small paper on the bar and Liam and Louis looked at each other with wide amusement.

“I’m sorry ladies. Louis here is already taken.” Liam pulled him closer to him and before he could even react, Liam kissed him to his cheeks and then laughed. The ladies didn’t seem to mind as they laughed with Liam as well; only to be more convinced to have their numbers.

Louis slowly pulled away from Liam and excused himself to the comfort room but as he turned around, he felt his whole body froze. The world seemed to stop as he saw Zayn looking straight back at him; no trace of smile or being pleased by what he saw. He was just there. Standing still and staring at him, and the longer he did, the more he felt his eyes were piercing his very soul.


	11. Chapter 11

Louis knew this wasn’t going to end up right, and so the urge to run away kicked in. Louis tried to walk past Zayn but a hard grip made him halt.

“And where the fuck do you think you’re going?” Zayn unhurriedly tilted his head to his side as he glowered back at Louis. “Don’t you fucking run away this time, Tomlinson.”

The way Zayn mentioned his name made his knees shake in fear. His eyes were burning in anger, it wasn’t the gentle Zayn whom he stared at his bed a few days ago. He was a different person, and although he didn’t have any idea what the hell did he do to make him this furious, Louis couldn’t help but to be scared.

“W-What’s wrong with you? We’re in the middle of work here, Zayn! Let me go!” Louis struggled to pull away from Zayn’s tight grip on his wrist as he pulled him upstairs, towards the karaoke rooms. But Zayn didn’t show any sign of listening to him, he continued to drag him all the way up and Louis almost give up by the incredible strength this man was showing.

Next thing he knew, Zayn threw him inside a dim-light room. The TV screen was the only thing that illuminated the room and Louis knew where this was going to end.

“No Zayn. No way in hell are we doing it here.” He walked towards the door where Zayn remains to stand. “M-move away.”

But Zayn just stared back at him. In the poorly lit room, he could feel Zayn looking at him with anguish. He wanted to ask what he did to make him look at him like that, but he knew it would only add up to his anger.

“You talk to him over the phone for days because of what? Because of not seeing him for two years?”

Louis remained silent. 

“Then without hesitation, you agree to work with him?” Zayn took one step closer to Louis and the other lad could only take one step back. “I let you do that. I didn’t stop you, did I?”

“I volunteered myself to work here not because I want to help Liam. I volunteered here because I know something like this will happen.”

“W-what?”

He heard him chuckle, “I came here, telling you how much I missed you and never did you try to hold onto a conversation for an hour. You keep running away. When I asked you about a date, you can’t give me a fucking straight answer, and then now, you let other people touch you?”

“I swear I did not –“

But even before he could defend himself, Zayn had already pinned him to the wall as he madly crushed his lips to Louis. He could feel Zayn almost tearing his lower lip as he bit them off, sucked them and then pressed his tongue inside him as he left Louis helpless and catching for his breath.

“I try to be so kind to you, Louis. But you leave me no fucking choice.” He pulled away for a moment, and Louis felt it will be the last time Zayn was about to warn him. And he was just right. Zayn went back to his mouth and he conquered it ferociously. He didn’t give him any room to protest nor to say anything anymore. Zayn hastily moved his hands towards Louis’s buttoned-up polo and he ripped it opened. The cold gush of wind made Louis groan in Zayn’s mouth.

It didn’t take any second later before Louis and Zayn was topless. Louis could still feel his anger brooding inside him. Zayn had his lips moved away from his lips, his tongue trailed all over his neck, kissing, licking and then biting all over again until there were visible hickeys all over him.

“Let’s see if you can hide all of them.” Zayn’s voice remained harsh as he repeated the same thing over and over again on Louis’s neck upto his chest.

He suddenly gasped when he felt Zayn’s hips between his legs, brushing along his length. He hold onto Zayn’s biceps as Zayn almost lifted him with his hips moving on his length, rocking hard and torturing him with the tightness he felt inside him.

“I’m not going to be nice to you anymore. Now, remove your pants.” Zayn ordered him and he looked back at him with astonishment. “Do it. Now.”

He felt embarrassed, knowing Zayn was watching him and although he could see Zayn stripping himself as well, he could already sense how rough Zayn would be at him. Zayn grab a hold onto his wrist and threw him on the couch, his back against his, knees and hands on the soft futon, his arse raised.

Without warning, Zayn inserted his two fingers inside Louis, leaving him cursing repeatedly. Zayn groaned by the tightness of Louis but it didn’t stop him. This is how Zayn wanted him. He pushed harder, his fingers scraping on his insides, and Louis could feel his fingers digging on to the couch.

“This is for fucking ignoring me.” Zayn harshly removed his fingers, and immediately positioned himself behind Louis.

“Fuck!” Louis yapped, tearing up by the rough thrust of Zayn. He didn’t wait Louis to adjust. He pushed deeper and then pulled out his cock, leaving the tip inside him as he slammed back harder. He pounded himself against him harder and harder, Zayn’s cock hitting his hilt each time made him cry out. Louis wanted to say something to calm Zayn down but his composure left him as Zayn continued to thrust inside him with intensity, instead, he was slowly pushing inside him as well. He could feel the pain turned into a growing lump of arousal and there was no way he could stop it. He arched his back as he felt Zayn’s warm chest touched him, and he pressed inside him harder. There was no use to struggle anymore; it was as if Zayn whispered it right into his ears.

Louis could feel he was going to come too soon and Zayn might’ve felt it too as he suddenly pulled his length from his spot. He could almost scream in frustration.

“That’s for not agreeing to date with me.” Zayn huffed.

“I don’t even know if - “

He was cut off by Zayn again as he was forced to sit up even with a cringing pain all over his back, hips and legs as Zayn positioned him to sit on his lap.

“I don’t want to hear any of your fucking excuses tonight.” Louis could see that Zayn’s anger did not falter. Even with the blue light of the TV screen, his hazel eyes glowed and he knew Zayn was far from stopping. “Now this one, is for flirting with those girls, letting Liam kiss you, and trying to run away.”

Zayn lifted his hips and without any warning, he shoved his length inside him. Louis almost felt his back break and his hands found its way on Zayn’s shoulders.

“Oh no, Louis. I’m not going to do the work in here.” Zayn sniggered as he let go of Louis. Louis looked at him with complete disbelief and he could already feel that this was the biggest punishment Zayn was going to give him. “Move.”

“W-what?!” Louis didn’t care less to protest at this time.

“I said ‘move’.” Zayn commanded him as he lightly took a hold of Louis’s cock, “or else you won’t come.”

Louis twitched by the stream of heat surrounding his whole system. This thing was all new to him and he doesn’t even know how to begin. He wanted to say sorry for whatever he had done but he knew it was too late for that.

Zayn started to work on his cock and Louis scratched Zayn’s shoulders by the heightening of the pleasure building up inside him. It was just too much.

“Tomlinson, I said move.” He heard the stress on his surname again. He knew things are going to get really bad if he doesn’t start. “Now!”

Louis started to move slowly, burying his fingers onto Zayn, he lifted himself up, mouth agape from this new feeling. He could feel Zayn’s length scraping his insides and it aroused him even more. His cock was twitching badly, precome trickled and Zayn seemed to enjoy his great effort. He could feel Zayn slightly rocking his hips, teasing him, his fingers rubbing on his length, making him completely out of his senses.

“Look at you, Louis. Look at your body move when you’re inside me. God – do it. Faster.” Zayn leaned closer to him, “do it faster, Tomlinson.”

“S-stop calling me by my last name…”

“What? You get aroused by that, huh? Tomlinson.” Zayn whispered into his ear with deep emphasis on the last words. “Come on, do it faster.”

He grabbed his waist and guided him, “Like this – “

“AH! Fuck!” Louis gritted his teeth as Zayn hit his tilt over and over again with a fast pace, a hard thrust and each time made him feel closer to his climax. Zayn let him go again, his hand went back to stroking his cock and each time it twitched, Zayn pressed his fingers on it, hard. “Stop it…”

“Then move.”

“Fuck you, Zayn.” Those were the last words Louis uttered as he moved himself. Bringing his hips up and then pushing them back down. He kept up with the same pace and he could hear Zayn groan in each time he would slam his arse on his thigh.

Zayn didn’t seem to be patient this time and so he held Louis’s waist and crashed themselves on the carpet, Zayn was on top of him again. The change of their positions made both of them curse. The room was suddenly filled with loud moans as Zayn didn’t hold back any longer. He slammed himself hard on Louis, grunting curses in each thrust, his back snapping back and front roughly, his chest heaved in each time Zayn’s chest pressed onto his hot skin, he lost count on how many times he screamed his name.

“Fucking run away from me, one more time, Louis. And I swear, you wouldn’t be able to fucking touch the ground ever again.” Zayn hissed in his final thrusts and Louis found himself hugging Zayn as the stream of white fluid shot on his chest. “Tell me who you belong to – “

“Y-yours. I’m yours – AHHH!” He screamed so loud he thought he could’ve get the attention of those who were outside as he felt Zayn came hard inside him.

“That’s right. You’re mine Louis.” Zayn slid next to him and kissed him gently on his lips, as if it was his way of ‘sorry’ for being rough on him moments ago.

Zayn brushed his fingers along his hair, and to his defeat, Louis knew he was just too weak for this gentle caresses. “Lou, I need to tell you something – “

“SHIT!” Louis sat up without letting Zayn finishing his sentence. “How could you do this, you twat! We should be helping Liam!” He stumbled himself to get up and grabbed his clothes all over the place. Zayn stood up as well, giving him a smile he couldn’t help but to be bothered as he dressed himself quickly.

They hurried down to the bar, walked towards Liam as if nothing happened, told him they needed to talk about some things but as he tried to get Zayn’s side on his excuse, he was indulged to his corner again. He smiled towards his customers and he didn’t take any second glance at Louis.

There was something behind his smile back there and it made Louis uneasy.


	12. Chapter 12

The glass that Louis was holding was about near to breaking as he continuously wipes it without giving full attention to what he was doing. His eyes wouldn’t just stop from looking to Zayn; carefully watching him practice some tricks for the drinks, gaining popularity in an instant from the crew. But he wasn’t just scrutinizing what he was doing; Louis was also observing his attitude toward the other crew members, finding an answer to what has been bothering him for the past couple of days.

A week after what happened inside the karaoke room, Zayn had been cold to him lately. He knew it has something to do with what Zayn was trying to say back there or maybe he still got some issues with Liam, which he finds really stupid and yet, he still couldn’t find the courage to ask him what it really was.

More than being bothered, Louis was really pissed off. How obvious Zayn was for avoiding him; preferring to eat dinner alone than joining his family, getting to bed earlier before he could even arrive from school, staying in bed a little longer when it was time to go to class so that his mom wouldn’t insist both of them to walk together and even in school, he’d rather eat alone than sit with him and Harry.

He couldn’t understand why is he acting like a child all of a sudden. He would try to strike up a conversation but he would just answer in a monotonous tone it was pissing Louis even more.

Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed Zayn was feeling something was looking at him as he tilts his head towards his direction and immediately, trying not to get caught, Louis averted his eyes. His glass almost slipped from his fingers, his heart skipped a beat and his breathing went faster.

He hated this feeling. This feeling that he wanted Zayn to notice him, to look at him or at least, appreciate he was there. There was always this subtle feeling of not being able to breathe when he thinks of these things.

“Are you okay?” Liam’s voice made him look away from Zayn in an instant. Thank goodness, someone finally came to distract him from his thoughts, he said to himself. He nodded and tried to keep his concentration towards Liam but his senses keep on telling him he should look away, that he should turn around and see what Zayn’s doing.

“Am I keeping you from something?” Liam cocked his head as his eyes pointed into Zayn’s direction behind him, and then slowly, he looks back at him. He was smiling and that smile of his tells him there was something behind it. And for some reasons, he looked back, seeing Zayn laughing with Josh on the other side of the bar; he knew what Liam was pertaining to.

“What are you talking about? Y-you’re not keeping me from anything.” He lied as he forced a natural smile. His reflexes told him to hold Liam’s gaze so that the lad would know he isn’t lying. But Liam looks far from being convinced.

“I’ve been watching you the whole time, Lou. You can’t take your eyes off of him.” He teased. “You two are in a relationship, aren’t you?”

His question baffled Louis. He suddenly felt an unusual sensation behind his back he didn’t think twice from answering, “WHAT?! Of course not!” He stepped back and he noticed he got the attention of everyone inside the empty bar, even Zayn. Their eyes met and there was that burning reaction that ignited inside him. Louis held his gaze, his brown eyes looking straight at him, and his breathing just literally stopped and so was the world.

He had no idea how Zayn was able to do this kind of things to him, how he could easily send confused feelings inside him. He could feel the loss of blood on his palms, and in a moment, everything went back to normal when Zayn looked away. Louis’s eyes twitched, a sigh of disappointment came out from his mouth thinking if he could’ve at least smiled, maybe that’d be a good start.

“Well, I could really say you two have something going on.” Liam continued, pulling him back to his thoughts.

“There’s nothing going on between us, LI.” Louis’s voice shifted to a more tired tone. “We’re just – we’re just…”

Well. Shit. He was asking it to himself a couple times already. What is really going on between them? What’s their status and what was all of this meant to him anyways? Why is he affected that Zayn was avoiding him and it was making him feel uneasy and so much disturbed?

He realized Liam was still waiting for his answer and so he replied, “We’re just friends, Liam. Childhood friends. Nothing’s going on.” He huffed, convincing himself it is a good excuse for all of this.

“You say whatever you want, Lou. But I know what the two of you did inside the karaoke room.” Liam’s sentence hammered his head that he almost stumbled himself onto the edge of the bar, his eyes widened as he looked back at Liam, smirking and he wished he could just vanish into thin air.

“You seem like you’re asking how the hell did I know? I’m not that dense, Louis. You just don’t look at somebody like that and drag him inside a karaoke room and asks you to sing for him, right?” Liam ended his question with even wider grin plastered on his face.

Louis was lost for words. He wanted to deny it, but the words kept on swirling inside his head. He was hoping that the bar would just open a bit earlier so he could get away from this conversation; his palm was sweating and one more statement from Liam and he would end up bursting.

“I actually apologized that night to Zayn after I kissed you in the cheeks absent-mindedly.”

“YOU – What?!” Louis’s hand slammed into the table it surprised Liam as well. His ears did not believe what he just heard. “Liam! That was nothing! You shouldn’t have apologized!”

“Louis,” Liam grabbed his shoulders and pulled him to his side, both of them now looking straight at Zayn’s direction; the Bradford bad boy seems to be aware of it, but he didn’t dare look back to Louis or Liam. “That kiss may be nothing for you, but it could mean a lot to Zayn. You see, Louis, when you like someone, you notice everything he do. Even the smallest of things other people do to him.”

He let the words register to his brain for a while. It was quite true that he has been noticing Zayn ever since he stepped into his house. He would sometimes creep in under his own sheets just to see how Zayn looks like when he was sleeping, how his heart would throb whenever he caught Zayn staring back at him. And he wouldn’t forget that time inside his room when those two girls were lying beside him it made him furious.

But that would only mean he does like Zayn. He knew he hated him. He hated Zayn Malik and that was clear to him ever since he left him years ago. He hated him when he does things he wasn’t supposed to do because of him and he hated him even more because there was always that emotional turmoil that was stirring up inside him, everytime he thinks of Zayn.

“You could’ve seen yourself a while ago, Lou. You’ve been staring at him like it was your last day on earth.”

His cheeks flushed and blood rose behind his ears, it was all too much. The words kept pounding inside him he felt like bursting any minute. Louis just wanted to get away and to think by himself and so he backed away but then his heel stepped onto his foot, causing him to lose his balance. He saw the horror into Liam’s expression as he shouts his name, his body feeling so light he knew he was falling. His fingers reached for something; he felt the cold steel of the edge of a tray grasping on it, only to make things worse as it flipped over, with a number of newly cleaned goblets falling with him and he could only close his eyes and expected a hard and painful fall.

He heard the shattering of glasses beneath him and as he slowly opened his eyes, he found his torso suspended, Liam’s face of relief welcomed him and he saw the glistening pieces of broken shards in front of him.

Gradually, he felt his hands were holding tightly onto something. Something warm, something soft and in the corner of his eye, he saw a familiar tattoo on the wrist of the one who held him under his arms.

He tilted his head and his nose almost touched Zayn’s lips, brown eyes holding those blue orbs to a deep, worried gaze, his breathe the sound of a mixture of nervousness, anger and relief as his calloused fingers brushed on his knuckles, tightening its grasp in each second they hold onto that position. Zayn pressed his lips closer to Louis, not minding the people around him and it was as if in each movement of Zayn’s lips on his skin, he thought he heard him whisper;

Just let yourself go and expect me to be there when you fall.


	13. Chapter 13

“Lou…” Zayn’s profound voice reverberated inside his head. He didn’t know how long he was holding Zayn’s hand and just tilting his head, feeling every deep breath of Zayn against his skin and his lips brushing onto him. All he knew was that Zayn was the only one who could make his heart race like it was going to stop anytime. His knees quivered, body paralyzed from their contact and his insides burning from Zayn staring back at him.

“Guys, are you alright?” Josh’s voice snapped Louis away from thoughts. He breaks contact with Zayn looking back at him and he felt his whole body crumbling down when he saw every single crew of the bar was watching them. His eyes travelled and he met Liam’s smile, telling him something he already know. Louis panicked and his instincts told him to break away from Zayn.

“W-wait, Louis –“ Zayn whispered, but Louis’s head were swirling as he kept moving, struggling to lift himself up away from Zayn. Both of them were losing their balance and before Louis could finally let go of Zayn’s hands, they both fell hard on the floor with a loud thud. The broken glasses crushed on to his bum and he thought he heard a yelp from Zayn behind him.

“Louis, Zayn! Are you – Shit! Josh! Somebody, get some first aid!” Liam’s voice panicked, his eyes widened as he looked at both of them on the floor with complete horror on his expression. Louis checked himself for any injury, turning his hands and arms around and perceives no traces of blood or anything. If there was one, well, it would be on his bum which is really impossible for Liam to see.

He was almost about to say he was alright and there was no need to panic when Josh finally came in holding a white box and walk past at him. He confusingly turns around and saw Josh kneeling in front of Zayn as he offered a hand to him, and to his shock, he saw a large cut on Zayn’s palm, blood dripping on the wooden flooring.

His heart sunk seeing that scrunch on Zayn’s face as Josh started unwrapping the plastic of bandages. It was his fault and felt so guilty he couldn’t even look at it. But what troubled him more was the fact that he was feeling uneasy watching Josh put pressure on Zayn’s hand, his fingers pressed onto his palm, Zayn faintly smiling at Josh whilst he do the work. He knew he felt this before and he can’t just remember when, but Louis knew he didn’t fancy this feeling at all.

Without further thinking, he hastily stood up, brushing the broken glasses away from his bum and grabbed Zayn’s wrist and stole the bandages away from Josh. Louis dragged Zayn away from the commotion that they had done and walk passed by Liam and the others who looked pretty much amused from what was happening inside the bar.

“I – I’ll take care of this one, we’ll be in the staff room…” Louis trailed off without looking back at anyone, his heavy breathing in cadence with his relatively large footsteps, not minding the person he was dragging actually got a cut on his palm. He gritted his teeth. This was really embarrassing for Zayn, he thought. Louis knew he did something that Zayn didn’t really like for him to avoid Louis like that and now. He huffed. He even physically hurt him.

XXX

“What are you doing?” Zayn asked. Louis ignored the fact that he had dragged Zayn inside the staff room without saying anything and now he was on his knees, carefully putting a bandage on his hand. “I can do it, Louis, you don’t have to do this.”

Louis didn’t reply. He had no idea what to do after he pulled Zayn all the way here without muttering anything. Of course, he wanted to apologize, but what for? For struggling too much that they both fell on the floor? Or for that thing that happened inside the karaoke room that he didn’t have any idea of? Louis thought he needed more time to think, so he wrapped Zayn’s hand with the bandage as slowly as possible.

They were in that position for a while, the silence was deafening but Louis was afraid Zayn could hear how loud his heart was thumping. He was trying hard not to look so nervous while putting bandage around his hand, pulling this stern and composed face of his so that Zayn would never notice how this silence was killing him.

Why in the world did he drag Zayn all the way up here, anyways? He could’ve let Josh do the work and then apologize later on. Why did he have to pull him here and get the bandages away from Josh so that he could do it himself?

Before he realized it, the cue for the time to think was over. The bandage was done and his other hand no longer feels anything except the rough texture of the dressing on Zayn’s hand. He stared at it for a while, now what?

“You could hold my hand as long as you want.” Zayn leaned his head towards Louis and his breathe was enough to make his whole body shiver as he pulled his hands and himself away from Zayn. He saw the Bradford bad boy chuckle and examined his hands, “You did a pretty good job here, Lou.”

Zayn was now talking to him in a normal way again. Maybe, Zayn wasn’t really that mad at him. Maybe it was because he mentioned Liam’s name and that changed his mood. But still, why would he avoid him for almost a week? He did avoid Zayn for three weeks before but it was different when it was Zayn who was avoiding him.

“Aren’t you going to say anything?” Zayn asked. His chin rested on his hand as he carefully watches Louis sitting on the floor. “You won’t just drag me all the way up here just to put a bandage on me, Lou.” Their distance was quite enough for Louis to let out a deep breath. He just needed to apologize, and he would run to the door and it’s over. It would be normal again. He doesn’t need to observe him every fucking day and they would talk like before again.

“Are you mad at me?” Louis started.

“Why would I be?” Zayn casually replied.

“Because I did that to you, you idiot.” He muttered. Averting his eyes every now and then from Zayn’s unbreakable stare at him.

“This is nothing, Lou. I would do that every time I think you’re in danger.” His tone was a little bit lower now, and Louis could feel the shift of the atmosphere into a heavy one. “I will save you, anytime.”

“You’re trying to look cool in front of everyone else.” Louis scoffed. There was this usual feeling on his face that he wanted to pull a smile but he restrains himself.

“Really? Do you find it cool?” Zayn cocked his head, his usual smug marked all over his face and Louis knew he was already enjoying this one.

“Certainly not.” He looked away again; thinking where the hell did their conversation went into. He was supposed to be sorry for what happened and now they are having this playful conversation. He stood up and turns his back on Zayn; it was probably the right time for an early escape before weird things start to happen. He could already feel his insides getting hot and it wasn’t a good sign.

“Is that all you wanted to talk about after dragging me all the way up here?” he heard the sound of Zayn standing up; blood was rushing on his nerves he couldn’t find the words to say to reply to him. “I always thought you have a lot to say, Lou-Lou.”

“I don’t think I have anything else to say anymore, Malik.” He lied. His hand reached for the door knob but Zayn’s hand pushed the door to a close. His breathing stopped and his whole body was suddenly paralyzed by the gush of electricity flowed inside him. There was this faint feeling of Zayn’s breathe on his nape and it was a struggle for Louis if he should turn around or stay in his position.

“You can’t hide it you know? I could see you staring at me for a long time.” Zayn’s lips were getting nearer to his skin, his back shivered from the sensation of his lips slightly touching his skin. “I know you wanted to tell me something, Lou. Come on, say it.” Zayn stressed his last words as he playfully bit the soft skin of his that made Louis bit his lips in control of his voice. He can’t remember how easily he became so aroused by these playful bites of Zayn on him; it was just a week, for goodness sake.

How can he want this so much, badly?

He slowly turns around, his face just an inch away from Zayn and he knew there was no turning back now. He just needed to know why Zayn had been avoiding him for almost a week now.

“Why are you avoiding me?” Louis asked in a straightforward manner. He could see that slight shock on Zayn’s expression as he stared back at him with that slight inch of mischievous grin on his face.

“So you’ve noticed.”

“Who wouldn’t notice that?” Louis pouted. He cleared his throat and asked again.

“Well, why do you think am I avoiding you?” Zayn took a step closer, his nose brushing on his cheeks. He could smell that faint scent of alcohol and his perfume and Louis knew he missed this closeness towards the lad. But his answer really pisses him off.

“You twat!” Louis pushed him, “It took me a lot of courage to ask you that and you’re going to ask it back on me? Nevermind! I don’t want to know anymore.” He attempted to turn around again but Zayn had already pinned him against the door.

Before he could even rant even more on Zayn’s answer towards his question, the other lad’s fingers flicked the first button on his shirt, the collar giving away easily as he did it to the rest one by one. Louis bare chest heaved in front of Zayn as he saw him bit his lower lip. Zayn didn’t wait any longer as he surged his way towards Louis, pressing his body into him as his mouth travelled onto his throat, his lips parted as he sucked Louis’s skin hard.

Louis gathered up all his strength to lift his hands and push Zayn away again – “You – you haven’t answered my question yet!” But Zayn didn’t seem to listen as he stepped closer again, his lips meeting Louis’s; his struggle going to a complete failure as he felt Zayn’s tongue move inside him violently. He could feel his knees giving away, as he started to respond to the smothering kiss Zayn was giving to him.

Zayn pulled just enough for them to breathe, “You’ll get the answer later. Right now, I fucking need to be inside you, Tomlinson.”

There it is again. The way Zayn just says his last name was enough to make him withdraw completely to whatever he asks him to do. He leaned himself against the door as he watches Zayn pop the buttons of his shirt. He couldn’t believe this is actually happening again and Zayn have been leaving him wondering why the hell Zayn Malik avoided him.

“Guess I’ve been inside your head for awhile now, is that right?” Zayn’s fingers laced onto his hair, pulling them to the other side in that way he could have a better access on his golden, tan skin. Zayn continued on sucking down his throat, leaving obvious love bites when Zayn nibbled and slightly tug his skin, trailing his tongue all over the bite and repeating the same process. “A week’s been too long, Lou-Lou?”

“Shut up.” Louis gasped. His hands found its way on Zayn’s nape, huddling him closer and feeling his warm skin pressed on to his.

Zayn’s lifted him out of the door as they continued to kiss, the Bradford bad boy reassuringly clicked the door locked before they completely left that place. Louis felt his back against the warm frame of the small table as Zayn laid him in there, his lips parted as the lad started to go his way down to his chest; playfully biting his nipples, he could almost feel that rough texture of the bandage touching the other one as Zayn flicked and tug his nipples, feeling them go all the way hard because of his touch and mouth.

“I barely touched them and they’re this hard already?” Zayn teased, breathing on his chest, Louis looking down at him, watching Zayn’s eyelashes brush along his skin. “Bet I can make you come just by doing this, don’t you think?”

Louis dropped his head down as Zayn went back to twirling his tongue on his nipples. He raised his arm towards his mouth as he muffled his moans, afraid that someone might hear them. He could feel Zayn’s erection rubbing onto his pants; Zayn was intentionally brushing it along with his bulge that wanted to badly get out of the straining fabric.

Zayn seemed to feel it as he lifted himself and sardonically smiled back at him. “Couldn’t wait any longer, Louis?” Zayn fingers travelled along the zipper of his pants, unzipping them and pulling his pants together with his boxers, revealing his erection. “I badly want to do you by seeing your face right now, but I have to punish you, you know?”

“Punish me for what?!”Louis lifted himself by his elbows as he glared back at him.

“For not realizing it sooner than a day.” Zayn’s hands started to unzip his own pants and making Louis’s breath shake uncontrollably because of the naked Zayn infront of him. “And to think you haven’t figure it out yet.”

“What do you think of me? Some sort of fucking psychic? How would I know what you actually wanted!”

“Oh you don’t have any idea what I want Lou.” Zayn turned his hips around, and Louis’s back was now facing Zayn. He kicked his feet apart, and pulled his arse closer to him. “But I know I already told you about what I wanted, you haven’t given me the answer yet.” Zayn run his fingers to his hair before he spat on his own hands, just enough to slick his cock. “And because of that, I won’t help you get stretched, Lou.”

“Fuck you, Zayn. Weren’t you supposed to tell me something before I fucking cut you off back there?” Louis figured out talking might be quite helpful to calm himself down, having no idea how merciless Zayn could be at him again. “If you could’ve just told me – SHIT!”

He slammed his head onto the desk, feeling Zayn’s cock slid inside him without warning. He could feel the pain starting to part his lips away as Zayn’s length forces its way on his arse. Zayn wasn’t moving and yet he could already feel himself already near to coming.

“I’ll tell you what it is if you remember what you are supposed to answer to me.” Zayn pushed himself even more, finally reaching his prostate, before he speak again, “Now, be a good boy, and think about it carefully. Unless you do, I won’t stop.”

Louis knew he needed to protest but it was all too late as Zayn started to push himself inside him. He let out a loud gasp, while Zayn pounded inside him with loud pants, his fingers digging into Louis’s hips. Louis chest was brushing along the cold finish of the wooden table, his cock, hanging loosely whilst he kept to control himself from moaning too much and think of what the hell did he missed out from Zayn’s question.

And Zayn really does keep his word. He didn’t stop pushing inside Louis, pacing up with hard pounds on his hips, enough to mark a bruise later.

“Fucking tight –“ Zayn growled. His wounded hand was now pressed on his back, keeping him in place as he pressed onto him with faster. “Haven’t thought of anything yet, Lou?”

“how the fuck am I supposed – Shitshitshit – fucking think – ah –“ Louis found himself still lucky to talk back to Zayn, and if his mind would just cooperate, he could at least enjoy this moment instead of trying be a time traveller and going back to what happened inside the karaoke room a week ago.

The table was creaking dangerously; Zayn couldn’t control his push any longer. Louis already feels his sweet spot opening up entirely and getting roused up all the more. He wouldn’t mind thinking for a bit as he started to push himself inside together with Zayn, meeting his thrusts profoundedly.

“God, you are enjoying this, Tomlinson.”

He doesn’t need to answer anymore; he propelled himself back and forward, Zayn keeping his hips onto that right angle as he continued to push himself inside him.

“Fuck – you’re good at this – Oh shit– “ Zayn was almost near to shouting, his head tilted aback, feeling that spot of Louis’s stretching inside his cock.

Louis’s toes curled, that familiar feeling was clumping up inside him and he haven’t thought of anything yet. If he comes, there would be another one, and another one until someone would open the door and finds them having sex on the staff room. He wouldn’t be able to face Liam if that happens. He shut his eyes, hearing himself with that lewd voice of ah and oh shit go along with Zayn’s groans inside the room.

“Zayn I’m coming – “ Louis raised his head, his lips almost dry from the non-stop screams he lead out. “Touch me – please – “

Zayn didn’t think twice as he rounded his arms on Louis’s waist and reached for his cock, stroking him with the uneven pace of what he was doing on his arse.

“Yes – don’t stop. Yes. Zaynzaynzayn – AH!” Louis buried his face onto the table, feeling shots of his release on Zayn’s hands and screaming his name even more when he felt his insides tightened from Zayn’s hard release inside him.

Zayn gave him a gentle kiss on the back, before he pulled out of Louis and pressed his body onto his back. “You know what happens when you still don’t have any idea what it is, Louis.”

“The date – “ Louis panted, catching his breath as he turned his head to his side, just enough to see Zayn with his peripheral vision. “I’ll go on a date with you if that’s what you want.”

He thought he felt Zayn vibrated on his back, laughing before he pulls him to soft and sweet kiss. “You’re lucky this time, Lou-Lou.”

He could hear himself thank all the gods that has responded to his prayer of remembering every single question Zayn had thrown on him back there. He couldn’t believe how childish Zayn was for avoiding him just because of a simple date. And yet, he couldn’t deny that sparks inside him, knowing that Zayn wasn’t mad at him anymore.

And silently, he wondered if he will get used of this feeling.

The feeling of Zayn Malik beside him. Saving him. Wanting him.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woops. This is long. :) x

“Finally! The last one to go and we’re off!” Louis vigorously slammed the car’s door on the backseat right after he placed the last basket of food, huddled together with the roll of mat, a gas lamp, a large umbrella, and a couple more bags for their clothes and foods.

He looked back at his reflection, the aviator shades he specifically ordered from the internet definitely looks good on him. He even got the time to shop for new clothes specifically for this trip: a blue-button up shirt, paired with a darker hue of blue shorts with matching white sneaks. It wasn’t near to summer at all, but when you’re hitting the beach, Louis just wanted to make sure he looks good.

Well. He wanted to stop thinking on that point. That this whole thing was just some kind of a day trip.

But the thing is, it was Zayn’s idea to spend their date on the place Louis loves the most: near the ocean. It was sweet of him, yes. But the idea of the two of them together still makes him uneasy. Zayn could be really unpredictable. He could do things he was never aware of doing and even though Zayn promised him that he won’t be doing anything weird on Louis, he doubt it would happen.

“You look good today, Lou-Lou.” Louis jumped from his position, swiftly turning his head to face Zayn when he felt his lips brush along his nape. See what I’ve been telling? This guy just can’t fucking control himself.

He pushed away Zayn, just an arm-length, enough to take a quick look on his outfit, which made him unknowingly bite his bottom lip. He was thankful for the idea of him, wearing shades because he knew that if Zayn catches him checking him out, he was sure as hell that Zayn would do something to him.

Zayn was wearing a white semi-fit chino that even if it was topped by an open plaid shirt, Louis could still see the shape of his chest and torso, enough to make him feel so giddy inside. He have to look away or else the feeling of his cheeks burning wouldn’t fail to be noticed by Zayn.

And if only he decided to look at him a little further, he could’ve seen how Zayn slowly smiled from his reaction.

xxx

The trip on their way to the nearest beach seemed to be longer than what Louis expects it to be. But it just builds up his excitement on badly wanting to get his whole body immersed into the water. He finally got the time to relax; from all the presidential duties, school works and yes, even about Zayn. He kept in mind that he will be enjoying the beach too much that he would barely notice Zayn was even there.

The neighbouring houses, towering buildings and the city-feels all started to slowly disappear when Louis got a nicer view of the clear, blue sky. His hair flowing with the cool breeze hitting on his face and just enough sunlight to spread a golden light on the luminous green meadows and trees they were passing by.

“So far so good?” Zayn said without hesitation of looking away from the road. Louis momentarily looks at him, worried that if he does not, they’ll crash in a matter of seconds.

“Yeah. So far so good.” Louis replied, as he rested his head on the car’s headrest. He brought both of his legs up, trying to keep himself from looking at Zayn from time to time. He had to admit he wanted to talk to him about a lot of things, on what were they planning to do on the beach and tell him about how he missed the waters for a while. But when Zayn’s beside him; breathing the same air inside the car, his all his words was clogged inside Louis.

He noticed that Zayn was looking at him from time to time, obviously not subtle about it that it makes Louis’s heart throb harder in each second. Afraid that Zayn would absolutely hear it, he turned up the radio and forced to hum along the country songs that played; hoping it would eventually calm him down.

Finally, on the last turn of their car, Louis’s eyes widened when the sparkling blue ocean glinted right in front of them.

It didn’t take them long enough to find a place to pull over; they could count just how many cars were parked along the road. This day was certainly a good timing.

“It’s so beautiful, Zayn! Look at how blue the ocean is!” Louis was in complete awe as he stared longer towards the view as they were both seated in the car’s hood.

“Yeah. It’s beautiful.” Zayn glanced into the ocean, and without uncertainty, he looked straight into Louis. His peripheral vision tells him that Zayn was undoubtedly staring at him, saying those words that forces him to look back at him.

And Louis wasn’t able to hold back the urge to look. He slowly turns into Zayn’s direction, and for a moment, they hold into each other’s gaze. His hazel brown eyes illuminated by the sun’s rays, the contours of his jaw all the way down to his neckline and the way his skin just glistened.

A sudden blow of the wind cut them off their moment. But it wasn’t able to shake the feeling building up inside Louis. He could hear his loud breath, the pumping of his chest, and the butterflies in his stomach. It was too early to feel something like this.

“I-I’ll go ahead and change first! I’ll help you with the stuff later, just, just go find a good spot okay?” Louis didn’t wait for Zayn’s approval as he rushed to the backseat and grabbed his bag, sprinting his way towards the coarse sand with all his efforts not to look back; thinking that if he stayed there longer, he’ll most probably die of suffocation rather than the possibility to drown in the ocean.

xxx

“Jesus, Louis. This is just a date. You’ve date with others before right? Girls and Guys. No, I mean. Guy. Harold! Everything went right! Nothing will happen today, Tommo. Nothing.” He felt the cold stipples of water run all over his face. He didn’t really care how long it will take him before he heads out, but before he does, he wanted to be sure that he was emotionally stable for this date.

“You can’t let Zayn Malik ruin your day, you got that?” Louis tapped the mirror, as if poking himself in his reflection. Feeling confident and convinced, he finally shoved his clothes in his bag and went outside.

Just a few strides away from the shower room and Louis started to notice that he was getting some attention. Some girls he passed by were whispering something towards each other, giggling while they look at him. Who wouldn’t? He was now topless; his golden skin perfectly matching the feel of the whole beach and his eyes reflected the sparkling ocean.

Louis feels a little bit of pride for himself. It was a long time since he started to go out with girls together with Harry, and whenever they were together, girls just wouldn’t stop coming.

He decided to give the group of girls who were staring at him from the other side his sweet, smile and just like he expected it, they all made a fuss over it, flirty smiles shot back at him and some of them were starting to walk towards him.

“Well, this isn’t bad.” Louis stepped forward to meet the girls when a hand on his waist suddenly pulled him back. He already knew who it was, but he didn’t find the strength to turn his back when he felt Zayn’s lips was completely pressed on his nape, his nose brushing along his hair and both of his calloused hand taking a good hold of his waist.

“I think you forgot that we’re actually on a date here, Louis.” Zayn slightly pulled his lips away, enough for Louis to feel the vibration of his voice; his breathe sending shivers down his spine. “You don’t want me to punish you here, do you? The girls would see how loud you moan even if you try hard to stifle them…”

“Zayn – No. What the fuck are you trying to pull here?! They’re looking at us.” Louis abruptly bends his head, he could feel his whole body slowly getting paralyzed and his feet almost getting eaten by the sand. The playful bites that Zayn was leaving on his nape made his body burn as if the sun was zooming in his position by a million times. Sweat started to trickle down on the end of his hair, his hand shaking and his back was starting to arch towards Zayn’s chest. He bit his lower lip, his moan escaping any minute if he opened his mouth. “Fuck, Zayn. Stop it.”

“’Course I will, Lou.” Zayn breathed on his neck before he let go of Louis. “I promise I won’t do anything today. Just make sure you behave yourself, okay?”

Louis finally manages to turn to Zayn, “What the hell was that for? I was just playing around with those girls!” Louis followed him from behind, his head still quite heavy from the sudden action of Zayn awhile ago. He couldn’t believe he kissed him in front of those girls (and other people who actually seen them) and then leave him to that state.

Both of them finally arrived into their spot; perfectly shaded by the trees and a beautiful rock formation beside them.

“I bet you’re just jealous because more girls notice me.” Louis scowled as he opened the umbrella and angrily buried it to the sand. “You may not know it, but I’m popular with girls, you know.”

“Are you trying to make me all worked-up in here, Louis? ‘Cause if that’s what you’re planning, then you’re doing a good job about it.” Zayn dropped the bag of his clothes and starts to walk his way on Louis’s position. The older lad abruptly stood up, his hand found its way on his nape, brushing along that prickly sensation of Zayn’s lips on his skin. “You’re the one who asked me not to even touch you, but if you continue doing that, I think I might’ve to break my promise.”

Zayn’s distance was now an inch away from him. He was too distracted to look away. Too distracted to move or push him away. He was already drowning from the way Zayn stares right into his eyes; as if he could read his mind; a ghost of smile marking on his jaw, telling him that what he wanted.

It was indeed, Louis’s idea that both of them should state spending time together without having sex. But who is he trying to fool in here, anyway? After all the things that happened between them, all the words that slipped out of their mouths, it was way too impossible to simply run away, to just stop.

But Louis was, determined as always. He would get away from this person as long as he wanted to. He couldn’t just lose and give up, and give him everything, comply to every bit of Zayn was telling him to do.

This was all the reason why they were together anyway, the running away, the chasing, and the conquering. And yet, even though how many times he failed to get away from him, he still doesn’t want to give up.

And now, all of a sudden, his mind was in a quicksand of questions and emotions and something inside him flickered; he just knew he wouldn’t be able to hold it in any longer. If he stays another minute with this closeness toward Zayn, he’d probably do something that he’ll regret later on.

“I-I’ll just go for a swim! Go ahead and grill something, I’ll take a quick dip.” Louis ran away from Zayn for the second time this day, and the Bradford Bad Boy sure was just letting him slip right in front of him. He needed to cool down. He needed air.

Louis needed to extinguish the heat burning inside him or else he’ll probably lose to Zayn.

xxx

There was a cold wind that blew on Louis’s half body that it was enough signal for him to finally hit the shore. He doesn’t really want to leave. The cold splashes on his bare skin keeps on pulling him back, but he knew he was away from Zayn for too long now. It was then that he realized the sky that was blue hours ago was slowly turning into a palette of all sorts of purple and orange tones. It was only a few strokes towards the shore so he decided to float himself, not wasting this beautiful canvas above him.

He almost start to wonder why Zayn never tried to join him in here but he realized that beneath that strong facade of him, lies a kid who’s actually afraid of the ocean. He laughed within himself. But it slowly turns into a hit of guilt when it just occurred to him that Zayn chose this place because he likes the ocean so much and obviously he was the only one enjoying this whole trip which was supposed to be their date.

xxx

He noticed how fast the people dispersed, leaving their spot secluded near the rock formation.

Louis walked towards their mat and found Zayn sleeping on his back, his head resting on his right arm, comfortably lying on the right side of the mat, enough for Louis to sit in. He started to wrap himself with a towel and grab some of the grilled barbecue Zayn had prepared to him. Aside from the view of the ocean and the sky, Louis couldn’t resist the temptation of looking at Zayn’s torso every now and then. It was a different feeling when he’s just staring at it, not with their skins in contact, his visions in complete blur, and his senses all over the place. It was like seeing Zayn in a completely different perspective, and the flames inside his body that he just extinguished moments ago all seem to go back with a larger amount.

Louis was almost done with his third stick when he heard the mat rustled behind him, he turned his head and saw Zayn’s eyelashes fluttering his eyes open in such a way an innocent child just woke up from his deep slumber.

“Oh. You’re finally here.” Zayn sluggishly said.

“Y-yeah. I just finished my third stick. The sauce was great.”

“It was prepared by your mom.” Louis saw Zayn moved behind him, and in one pull, Zayn was sitting beside him, mimicking his position, both of their knees up to their chest, joining Louis as they watch the sun sets right infront of them. “Did you enjoy the ocean? I’m pretty sure you did.”

“Of course I did. But, you didn’t even try immersing yourself in the water, did you? You should’ve at least tried it. It was relaxing. I was the only one who enjoyed this…this place. You must be really bored.” Louis played with his stick and drew irregular shapes in the sand as he lowered his head. “You hate the ocean.”

“You seem to be really worried about me.”

“W-what? No, I’m not! I was just thinking that you should’ve thought of a place where both of us will enjoy. Not just for me, it’s not even my birthday.” He mumbled into his towel that was draped all over his head. He was feeling such a kid from all the words that were slurries from his mouth, and he was grateful he could hide the way his cheeks just flushed beneath the towel from Zayn’s subtle laughter. “Next time, choose a place where we could both do something together.”

“Oh. So you’re looking forward for a next time?”

“What? I didn’t mean that! I was just – whatever. Think whatever you want.” Louis voice trailed off as he stole a quick look towards Zayn, who was indeed enjoying this conversation.

“Anywhere’s fine when I’m with you, Lou-Lou.”

Louis flinched from Zayn’s statement. He clenched his fist, enough to crumple the sheet underneath his legs. Louis managed to kept still beyond the arguments of his mind within himself. He wanted to ignore it. He wanted to ignore the questions that were piercing into his brain. But it made no avail. It was in this kind of moment where Louis wondered if he really does hate Zayn.

Since when did he feel this way towards Zayn? Since when did he want not to hate him for a moment? Even just for a minute and do whatever his body and heart and mind tell him to do. Louis felt the day was really coming to an end, and he doesn’t want it to end just like this. He wanted to give something to Zayn.

“Well, our date’s going to end soon, so, is there anything you want to do? Do you want to build a sandcastle? Although it’s quite dark now…”

“Since you’ve asked, I think I’m just going to request a simple kiss in the lips, by Louis Tomlinson. Best way to end a date, right?” Zayn adjusted from his position and was now facing Louis, not even waiting if he’d agreed to it or not. What did Louis expect anyway? That he’ll agree with him to build up some kind of sandcastle while darkness started to spread throughout the beach?

Before Louis could do or say anything, Zayn pulled himself backwards, resting his body on his shoulders as he let out a chuckle. “Don’t give me that look, Lou. I was just joking.” Zayn turned his head back to the ocean that was completely covered into darkness by now; lighting a match and gradually, the warm light from the lamp illuminated their spot.

The cold wind continued to blow into their skins, and if their instincts tell them right, there’s a storm coming. “I’ll keep my promise. Why don’t you start drying yourself, I think it’s going to rain soon, we should head back.”

Zayn was almost about to stand up when Louis suddenly grabbed his wrist, without looking at him.

God. How he wanted to hate Zayn for making him feel like this. For making him suddenly do things he didn’t even dream of doing.

“Lou?”

Zayn turned his head towards person who just held his hand with such wanting and desperation, fingers wrapped closely into his skin, and before he could react, Louis had pressed his lips against his.

It was too late to turn back now because for the first time in his life, he admitted defeat.

\---

The wind blew harsher on their place but none of them cared less about it. Louis had his lips lightly pressed on Zayn’s lips, none of them wanting to let go. Zayn slowly brought himself down, reaching for Louis’s cheeks as he started to kiss him more passionately while his other hand held onto Louis’s slender waist. Louis’s moved his head to follow his movements, his fingers reached for his hair, pulling him closer as he nestled his lips between Zayn’s – a lump of arousal building up inside his stomach and there was no way of turning back now.

He pulled just an inch away, locking eyes with the burning gaze of Zayn in front of him. The light was enough for him to see how Zayn looked at him with an impassioned expression; it was different from all the other times he looked into his eyes: they were more of anger, of hunger, of arousal. But this time, Louis felt it was more than that. He could feel Zayn’s eyes looking at him with such endearment, with such care that no one can compare to.

Maybe this isn’t the first time Zayn had come across to him like this, or maybe it was there all along, and he was just misinterpreting things. He looked down on his lips again, a hint of shine marked on it from his own doing and Louis found the urge to crash his lips back to Zayn’s again. This time, he went for something he didn’t really expect doing – he slipped his tongue inside Zayn and he heard his voice hitched inside him.

“L-Lou…” Zayn pulled himself away this time, his forehead rested on his, and he could feel the hot breathe coming outside Zayn’s mouth. Was he panting? Or was it just his imagination?

“If you keep doing this, I won’t be able to hold myself anymore. I don’t want to break my promise, okay?” Zayn’s voice was too near, and it wasn’t long enough before he heard his own chest pumped that fast before. He wasn’t nervous of what will Zayn do, not this time. He was more nervous by the fact that he was letting himself be controlled by his feelings and the fact that he didn’t hate it, nor he didn’t want to stop it.

Maybe it would be better if he won’t let his mind control him for now, to obey it and tell Zayn to shut the fuck up and forget about the promise, because he knew it would break the mood. Since when did he care about the mood anyway? Zayn had him almost everywhere, his room, the bathroom, the library, his office, none of them needed a certain amount of mood; but right now, he doesn’t want it to slip away. Something in this place or atmosphere made him want to stay it just like this.

He brushed his nose along the contours of Zayn’s jaw, and he could feel Zayn tensing up, his hand was starting to grip his waist tightly, and his eyes, God, those eyes, fluttering every second he made contact with his skin. It would be clear that Zayn had never felt this way before because of his reactions, but Louis wondered if he was anticipating something like this, his whole life.

He shuddered when he felt Zayn’s hand interlaced with his fringe, removing his hair away from his face and never did he felt so breathless before. His silence was new to him, his gentleness, all of it. And Louis didn’t wait any longer.

He surged his way back to his lips, and he found himself drowning over the pleasure of Zayn’s lips. Him kissing Zayn was like drinking wine, the more he tastes it, the more he wanted more of it. And the less contact he had with it, the less amount of flavour he taste, the more he wanted to gulp on it further. Is this the feeling of being possessive? Of wanting to own someone? Hell, he never tried to be like Zayn, or to act like Zayn, but these small gestures made him think a lot. More than what he was supposed to let his mind think of.

And Zayn might’ve taken the cue this time. There was no use of holding back anymore because Louis, himself had made his way towards him. He pulled him closer, their tongues twirled and both of them fought over the dominance of who conquers who, and obviously, Zayn wins. Louis let his fingers slide against Zayn’s neck, down to his biceps all the way down to his waist, pushing himself closer to Zayn as their bodies pressed together, leaving no space between them. And even with the cold wind continue blowing onto their bodies, the exchange of their body heat was enough to keep them warm.

Zayn’s lips travelled on his jaw, planting sweet, gentle kisses on its leave. He moved his way down to his jawline, nipping that skin that glisten with water, and his tongue trailing over the bite.

“You taste so good, Lou. I could feel the ocean by your skin…” Zayn whispered on his collarbone, enough to send vibrations to Louis’s body down to a growing pain between his legs. “You’re perfect.” He breathed out before he looked closely down to his eyes, all the way down to his body and he shuddered by the way his eyes pierced every inch of his skin.

Louis was weak when it comes to saying the right words so he took the chance to cup both of Zayn’s cheeks and give him another kiss, this time, winning as he pressed his body further into Zayn as they both dropped into their mat. He started to trail his kisses down to Zayn’s jaw, his hands moving its way down to Zayn’s bare chest, and he heard how fast his heart was beating as well. Has it always been like this when they do this? Was it always being covered by Zayn’s words said to him? He realized there was still a lot of things Louis doesn’t know about Zayn, and maybe he could at least know some of them tonight.

Just when Zayn was about to reach for his face again, Louis shifted his body and made his way down to Zayn’s hips, making the Bradford Bad Boy lift himself up through is elbows, surprised by the position Louis was heading to.

“Louis –“

“Shush. I’m doing this because I want to, not because you asked me to.” Louis gave Zayn a playful smirk, and he never imagines seeing Zayn that surprised from his actions. His fingers reached for the end of the board shorts Zayn was into, frowning by the thought it was didn’t even manage to get wet because he never even tried to immerse himself on the water. His fingers touched his exposed skin, on his hipbones, and Zayn’s body moved in its own accord, slightly bucking his hips to Louis.

He pulled it in one swift motion and Louis quivered by the sound of Zayn’s moan with a voice that was almost close to a whisper when he said it with something like an “Oh, God yes,” that made Louis smile to himself. He winced by the sight of Zayn’s cock, twitching badly as it slapped on his stomach, precome trickling on its tip and Louis clasped his wrist up to the base of his cock, making Zayn whimper beneath him. He never felt so aroused seeing Zayn, like this, helpless and wanting so much. He had to be honest that he never gave a blowjob to anyone in particular, both boys and girls but with Zayn, it was like everything was planned, everything was supposed to happen and it didn’t matter if he had no idea about it or not.

He trailed his tongue onto that slit of his cock, coating it with his own precome. He heard Zayn let out a curse, and he assumed that he enjoyed it so he repeated the same thing. His tongue whirl around Zayn’s, slowly gliding himself down and then flicking his tongue on the build up of Zayn’s white thread on its base. Louis could feel his growing member between his thighs, and it made him start to cover his mouth with Zayn’s cock in it.

“Fucking hell!” Zayn groaned as he reached for Louis’s hair, holding onto it tightly as he lift his legs up, his toes curling over the overwhelming sensation that thundered inside Zayn’s body. Louis started to bob his head, taking his time to cover Zayn’s cock with his own dribble, his hand let go of his shaft as he deep throat him, hollowing his cheeks in each time he immersed his face down. He lifted one of his kees up and pulled his own shorts down to his hips, giving himself a few dry pumps as he moved together with his mouth.

“Oh shit. Louis. Faster. You have to move…” Zayn’s voice trailed off as he cut himself whilst gripping Louis’s hair tighter, controlling himself not to gag him and thrust on his mouth. “…Or I’m going to have to fuck your mouth – SHIT!”

Louis moved faster, and it made Zayn continuously curse, not to add up the sudden vibrations that Louis was making on each time he moaned by stroking himself. Everything was so unusual but it just builds up to his arousal, more and more.

“Lou – stop – need to come inside you…” Zayn gently tugged his hair to pull him out of his cock, “Jesus, look at you.” Louis could feel the trickle of his saliva and Zayn’s come all over his mouth, maybe he looks so flustered, and his chest was heaving heavily by the loss of contact and the abrupt pause of his hands on his own cock. “You and your illegal expression again. I badly have to fuck you now, Lou.” His gentle voice seems to slowly disappear together with his own senses. The feeling was building up too much inside him and he just wanted all of it to come out all at once.

Zayn sat up and flicked his board shorts away from his feet, lunging onto Louis who falls down to his back as Zayn grabbed and kicked his shorts all the way from his hips. Zayn pressed his body to Louis, sending electric shock all over his body by the sensation of their cocks nudging. Zayn reached for Louis’s lips and gave him a tender kiss. The softness of his lips made Louis want to bite them off but Zayn pulled away too early.

“I hope you wouldn’t ask me to forget about this later, ‘cause you know I won’t.” Zayn whispers and Louis knew better than to protest, he wanted this to happen, it would be a shame to suddenly go bugging him to forget what they did on the beach. Maybe it would be a good thing to come up with some changes for a bit: to like Zayn more and hate him less. But knowing himself, it would still be a long run to finally accept everything like this. It was never easy to deal with Zayn Malik, not even with his great composure and facade.

He watched Zayn lift himself up and spat on his palm, giving a few pumps on his own cock before he shifted himself between his legs. “You look so hot down there, Lou. But nothing’s compared to your expression when we do this. I want to see you.”

He felt Zayn’s hand lift his legs up to his shoulders as he moved his way down, his blue eyes looking straight at him triggered Zayn to pushed himself vehemently inside Louis.

“Holyfuck-!“ Louis felt his cock slide its way down to his prostate as Zayn pressed himself closer, drops of sweat falls onto his bare chest.

“God – you are always so tight, Louis.” Zayn said, feeling his spot tighten around his cock.

Louis could no longer find the right words to say at this time, everything as hazy and all he could see was the contour of Zayn’s body from the light of their lamp, hearing the large waves from the ocean and the harsh wind continuously blowing onto their bare skins. Zayn pulled himself and thrust all the way back in, hitting his hilt in each time as he propelled himself to meet Zayn’s movement. Louis wrapped his arms around Zayn’s neck, huddling him closer on each drive Zayn was giving him, moving faster and almost lifting him up with his hard pounds. This was something he never felt, and Zayn was hitting his spot over and over again, driving him over the edge.

“Zayn – I’m close –“ Louis moans out, his hug getting tighter from Zayn’s increased paced inside him.

“Yeah, Louis. Me too.” Zayn’s fingers dig under his hips, he clenched his muscles as he felt the loads of his release shot on their chests and Zayn ripping his insides by the amount of his orgasm filling him up.

Zayn pulled out and collapses on top of Louis, both of them catching their own breathes, Louis arms giving away from Zayn’s back. He looked upto the sky that was now pitch black, and one by one, rain drops on their forehead.

“Seems like somebody’s watching us.” Zayn said on his neck and both of them chuckled, the rain drops getting heavier that falls into their bodies. “Much as I want to stay in this position, I can’t afford to make you sick because of the rain, Lou.”

“You’re acting cool again.” Louis rolled his eyes as he sat up, reaching for his shorts and lazily putting them back on.

“Oh, you like it.” Zayn replied with a smirk, his face pulled into a smile before he found himself getting drawn by Zayn inside his arms, kissing him on his forehead. “Probably the best date ever.”

“Probably?” Louis pushed himself away from Zayn, looking into his eyes with suspicion. “I gave you a blowjob and I let you fuck me, and it was probably your best date?”

“Of course. If there’s a second date and you could top this one, then this date would probably the second one. But yeah, as of now, this is the best date. Better?”

“Yeah. So much better.”

—-

He slept all the way back to their house, and he thought if after this day, things would be a little bit different. If his actions toward Zayn would be less harsh, and more caring or maybe, sweet. Although he doesn’t really imagine himself doing the same things Zayn was doing to him, especially infront of his family or friends. Maybe, Louis wouldn’t hate him that much as before, but he didn’t really think it would easily be gone since, the person he’s dealing at was after all, Zayn: possessive, ruthless, pervert and crazy, Zayn Malik. This would be an endless chase for both of them and he’s not ready to give up just now.

—-

The rain had been continuously falling as they reached home. Both of them walked into the silence towards the door, but it wasn’t awkward, it was comfortable. And Louis thought if this feeling was something he had to get used to; a giddy feeling, his heart beating so fast and that feathery feeling on his belly. He didn’t want to admit it just yet. The familiar feeling he felt years ago was starting to knock on him again, but he wasn’t just ready to go there, not yet.

“I always wished that silence of yours is a moment when your mind’s filled with me.” Zayn said, passing through him as he found himself standing infront of the door, not knocking and just staring into the blank space. Good thing it was dark, and it was raining or Zayn might’ve seen how red he suddenly became. He felt like a teenage girl undergoing an emotional phase, his fingers finding a way to hold onto something, his heart wanting to jump out of his chest. Since when did Zayn’s words drive him into this state?

Before he could think of an answer, someone opened the door, and he before he recognized who that person was, the person lunged himself towards his direction, hugging him tightly.

He struggled to look closely to the person hugging him in them idle of the rain and slowly, he seemed to remember his blonde hair, his pale skin, and his accent that keeps saying, “I miss you, Lou-Lou!”

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Zayn, glaring behind this person. Both of them knew this person, who wouldn’t?

Niall James Horan. Their childhood friend and the number one rival of Zayn when it comes to Louis’s attention.

Shit. This isn’t happening.


	15. Chapter 15

“No, Harry. You don’t understand. It’s going to be war on my house for the next seven days.” Louis scratched his head as he and his bestfriend sat on their usual spot inside the cafeteria. The curly was on his usual smirk, always amused by the series of events happening on Louis’s life.

“Well, it’s not my fault that every guy finds you attractive.” Harry said, his voice low and obviously, flirting. “I can’t wait to see what happens next.”

“You don’t know anything about those two whenever the three of us are together, Harry. It’s so natural for them not to get along.” Louis sighed, taking a small bite from his sandwich as his mind wandered over what happened back then when they were on their highschool days.

~~~

It all started back when Zayn and Louis both got into the same school. They were yes, childhood friends, but no one knew that Louis considered Zayn as his worst enemy.

Louis wouldn’t call it a normal day if Zayn wouldn’t tease him anything about what he looks, or what he’s wearing or what he’s doing or his results in exams (which Zayn always excels without much effort). It would always start with his hair, how it always looks so messy, then to his clothes, down to his trousers until his shoes. It was like Zayn was some kind of fashion police that wouldn’t dare miss a thing when you’re wearing something odd that catches his eyes. He would always find something to notice in Louis that pisses him off easily; and the fact that Zayn finds it funny, or rather, amusing, pisses him off even more.

But Louis knew that there was something between the two of them that just makes them inseparable.

He could always feel something was missing when Zayn wasn’t just there, but when he is, he wanted him to go away. It was very weird at first, feeling this way towards someone who really sees as his number one enemy, but sooner, Louis began to realize that he was developing something he shouldn’t be feeling towards Zayn.

Enters Niall Horan; an Irish, young and carefree lad who seemed to be really attached to Louis right after he saved him from the couple of guys who tried to bully him. He was weak and he obviously couldn’t protect himself, thus, Louis found Niall as his solution to veer away from Zayn.

So Louis started to spend more time with Niall, go shopping with him, take him to some of the good restaurants in town and letting him stay at his house every now and then. Louis thought that everything about their acquaintance was just friendship. Unfortunately, Niall’s feelings were heading the other way and one day, when the two of them decided to make their assignment at home, Niall decided to confess his feelings for Louis.

~~~

“And what did you tell him?” Harry asked, his face pulling another wide grin towards Louis’s bothered expression.

“I – I told him I only see him as my brother.” Louis mumbled.

“You – what? Why didn’t you just tell him you didn’t like him?”

“Of course – I, wait. H-How the hell did you know I didn’t like him? I didn’t mention anything about that.” Louis cocked his eyebrow towards Harry’s expression that remained passive.

“Well, I do know for a fact that you liked Zayn better than Niall. Tell me if I’m wrong.” Harry smirked and Louis opened his mouth but he didn’t have any idea what to say about Harry’s account. “So, what happened after that?”

“Actually, it isn’t really quite finished on what happened that afternoon.”

~~~

After Louis had told Niall he only sees him as his brother; Niall took it more of a challenge rather than a rejection. He was aware that he was weak, and Niall thought that if he would be able to stand up for himself and protect Louis, he’d like him as well.

With that, Louis had no answer. All the time, when he heard Niall confessed to him, there was only one person he was trying not to remember: Zayn Malik.

He didn’t know why he was running through his head all that time and thinking about all the things he did to him. Zayn wasn’t really introduced to the word ‘subtle’ when it comes to touching him or telling him about his thoughts towards Louis which made him all the more, uneasy everytime he sees Zayn.

Louis knew he could’ve stopped it. All of it and all he had to say to Niall were ‘How ‘bout we give it a try?’ But something inside Louis was telling him not to, telling him that Niall isn’t the one who could make him freeze into his position just by the sound of his voice; he isn’t the one who could make his stomach turn just by the touch of his fingers against his skin and Niall isn’t that person who could make him feel all messed up just by looking at him.

And because Louis was thinking a lot during that time, he didn’t realize how close Niall’s face was into his already. Niall was already leaning towards him, his fingers stroking his cheeks and their lips almost an inch apart.

Niall wanted to kiss Louis.

And for Louis, who hadn’t been kissed at that time, felt nothing wrong if they would try. Except that before he could flutter his eyes close, he saw something moved at his door and it was none other than Zayn.

~~~

“So, Niall – he was supposed to be your first kiss?” Harry stifled laughter when Louis slightly glared at him. “Wow, that’s really romantic. Doing their homework and stealing a kiss.”

“Speak for yourself who tried to steal a kiss from someone who’s asleep.” Louis laughed and remembered that time when the two of them was seated together inside a bus, and him, falling asleep on Harry’s shoulders; their lips was almost brushing when Louis’s eyes hsot wide open and made Harry yelp and fall on his butt. “You should’ve seen how red your face was during that time.”

“Thought you forgot about that.” Harry shook his head as he went back to his food. “So, what happened after Zayn caught the two of you ‘almost kissing’?”

“Zayn stole my first kiss, in front of Niall.” Louis absent-mindedly brushed his fingers on his lips as he remembered that day he knew he would hate Zayn for the rest of his life.

~~~

Louis froze into his position, his eyes suddenly caught in the vortex of Zayn’s burning gaze at him. Louis wouldn’t forget that face of him, the first time Zayn looked at him that way. As if he was going to eat him alive, skin his flesh out or burn him in front of the school yard without feeling any remorse. He was looking at him – questioning him ‘what the hell was he doing’.

And that made Louis pulled his face away from Niall, and before the Irish lad could comprehend what was happening, Zayn pushed him aside and just like that – he grabbed both of Louis’s cheeks, his cold hands pressed on his skin and his eyes locked into his – hazel to blue – a mixture of colour no one will ever think it will look good together but just that time, it did – it was perfect.

Louis’s didn’t know how to push Zayn away from him; if that’s something he really wanted to do.

But Niall was there, and his mind was messed up and he couldn’t control his body from moving closer to the lad, he knew he had to stop him, to tell him to get away and stop making him feel something he wasn’t suppose to feel. But all those words remained unsaid when Zayn’s lips crashed into his.

There was no movement. No opening of the mouth, no exploring, no tongues, just lips – just those hot, moist and perfect lips that was pressed onto his.

Niall was brave enough to pull Zayn away from Louis; thinking it was against his will to be kissed, but Louis was too flustered to defend himself or explain anything to Niall. He didn’t even manage to stop Zayn from dragging the Irish out of their house.

And it was that very moment that Louis realized he was having a completely different kind of feeling towards Zayn. That moment he thought that everything will never be the same again between them. He was feeling so breathless, his heart was beating so fast and his mind was filled nothing but Zayn.

They were supposed to be enemies (or that’s what Louis always thought), Louis hated him for being so cool about a lot of things. He looks so cool with tattoos, even when he smokes, that he can pass all the examinations without much effort and how he could easily falter just by his simple touch or words.

That was the reason why Louis hated him – because he was Zayn Malik.

The person who fucking flipped his whole world upside down just because of a stupid, first kiss.

—-

Louis walked his way home, still not believing that he narrated everything to Harry; even his feelings towards the Bradford bad boy. He was just hoping that Harry would learn to keep his mouth shut and keep it to himself until his grave. He wasn’t really planning on telling Zayn that all these stupid feelings developed because of a simple snog.

But he was glad he wasn’t able to tell everything to Harry. And Louis didn’t really want to remember it either.

Especially that moment wherein Zayn went to his house that same night and –

“Lou-Lou!” He turned around by the sound of a familiar accent and thankfully, Niall was there to get him away from his thoughts. He smiled back at him and walked towards his direction, not really thinking if Zayn would be somewhere waiting for him. Just remembering all those things that happened to both of them before made him slip the idea of walking with Zayn today; he could already imagine himself fidgeting and getting all embarrassed in which he doesn’t really want to show to Zayn.

“Do you have some free time today?” Niall huddled closer to Louis’s. Their shoulders brushing against each other, Louis didn’t miss the way Niall quickly blushed from action.

Niall’s appearance did change; he changed his hairstyle, from layered cut into a quiff, giving him more of a matured look and wow – he got some braces. He managed to be two or three inches taller when Louis had last seen him and he was obviously hitting the gym because his body has obviously became so fit.

“Y-yeah. Do you wanna go somewhere?” Louis shot him another smile and Louis thought he heard Niall just catch his breath. Their walk was silent – and it was awkward, Louis could clearly see how Niall wanted to say something but he keeps on biting his lips and Louis wondered if Niall was still feeling that same way towards him before.

“So, how’s the Uni back in Ireland?” Louis decided to say something since the atmosphere was getting more and more uncomfortable, making Niall more and more nervous as they walked down the road.

“It’s cool. I really loved taking Sound engineering.” Finally, Niall’s face seemed to lighten up and his shoulders were so tensed a while ago. “How ‘bout you? How’s it going?”

“Pretty good.” Louis half-heartedly said; if ‘pretty good’ is something you call having someone barging into your house one day and messing with your whole, perfect life.

“You don’t look like you’re convinced with what you said.” Niall put his hands inside the pocket of his jacket, the night was slowly approaching and it was starting to get darker and colder. Louis paused for a while and gave Niall a confused look. “Does all those presidential duties getting harder by the minute?”

“Well, yeah. And to add up all those examinations that just kept piling on our heads. It’s exhausting.” Louis throws his head back a little, taking in as much information he could get that would lead to everything except Zayn. He couldn’t imagine telling Niall about all those things that happened between them just for a span of 3 months and somehow, he was thankful enough that Niall and Zayn doesn’t really get along with each other, or else Zayn might’ve told him all those unnecessary things Niall shouldn’t even know about.

“I’m pretty sure you can handle that. After all, you are Louis Tomlinson.”

“Yeah. Except that there’s one person I just can’t handle.” Louis grumbled as he looked away and he almost wished he could kick himself mentally because he just thought of Zayn again and to think he even mentioned him in front of Niall. “I – I mean, there’s still a lot of things I can’t handle. I’m not really perfect when it comes to handling things.” Louis quickly turned around and dragged Niall onto the nearest ice Cream parlor and hopefully, drags him out of his thoughts of what he just said moments ago.

The night deepens and thankfully though, their once awkward atmosphere seems to fade away. They walked into the other shops, just like what they did before; they bought the same beanies, they tried out some of the nearby food shops and they even won a big stuff toy after stumbling into a video game outlet.

“Well, that was fun.” Louis said, pushing the straw into his mouth and taking a small sip as they walked their way home.

Niall was smiling from ear to ear, holding this large yellow teddy bear on his arm and the other one with the bag of chips and he was still able to hold onto his drink. Louis was always amazed how Niall could do all these things especially when it comes to eating.

“Yeah, can I consider this as a date?” Niall innocently asked, flashing to him his braces and his face slowly getting flushed.

Louis flinched by the last word he said; another thought running through his head. “Sure. Go ahead, I don’t mind it at all.” Louis smiled back.

They walked past into the park, only a couple more block before they reach home. And Louis couldn’t veer away from his thoughts on what happened to Zayn today. He didn’t tell him he’ll be going out with Niall – wait – not that it’s necessary right? He wasn’t his boyfriend or something. Shit. Now he’s thinking he’s in a relationship with Zayn? Impossible.

“Uhm – Louis? Can I ask you something?” Niall paused into one of the lampposts, illuminating his bleached blonde hair and azure eyes. Louis stood next to him and nods in approval, taking yet again another sip, thinking of no other way to do with himself with the sudden serious mood.

“Are you and Zayn in a relationship?”

Louis just spurted out the juice he just drank on his side. “WH-WHAT? No! We are not in that kind of relationship!”

Niall’s eye widened as he shot him another disturbing question. “’That kind’ of relationship? T-then what are you both into?”

Louis wiped away the spills on his jacket and on his mouth, before looking at Niall who seemed to be damn serious about his question. What made him think that all of a sudden? “No, Niall. We are not in any kind of relationship. Zayn and I, we’re friends, enemies, whatever you call that.”

Niall stared at Louis for a moment before he continues. “Well, he’s living with you now, so I thought you two are in a relationship.”

Louis took a step back and throws his cup into the bin before turning back to Niall. “He decided that on his own. We’re both studying into the same university, it’s for his convenience.”

“Oh.” Niall turned away and started walking, good thing it was over. “So, all these time, nothing happened between the two of you?”

Louis gaped. “I – I don’t think there’s anything that has been happening between us, except for a couple of childish fights and all that. Seriously, Niall, why are you asking me these things suddenly?”

Niall didn’t answer him immediately. They continued to walk until they reached the gate of Louis’s house. Louis was almost about to pull him and make him say whatever he was hiding when Niall stopped and turn to him.

“Yesterday, Zayn was helping me unpack my things inside your room, when you were asleep. And he caught me staring at you…” Niall trailed. his voice slowly turning into a murmur that it seems like Niall wasn’t really comfortable asking him about this, thus, making Louis more and more curious of what they talked about (almost forgetting the fact that Niall was staring at him when he was asleep). “And he told me that you two have been –“

“What?” Louis was starting to raise his voice; Zayn didn’t do it. He didn’t say it right? He didn’t say anything stupid to Niall or else he would kill him. He would definitely bury him right now in front of their yard and no one will ever know he existed-

“Oh there you are.”

Both lads turned around to the voice that came from the doorstep.

Zayn walked into their place as if he wasn’t interrupting a serious conversation and didn’t really care if both of them were shooting daggers towards him.

“I was starting to get worried you two have lost your way.”

“Lou and I went out shopping, right Lou?” Louis was surprised how easily Niall seems to forget about what they were just talking about a while ago; showing to Zayn the big teddy bear they earned as a prize, in which Zayn didn’t really gave much care onto.

“Uhm – yeah.” Louis was looking for a place to pin his eyes with, knowing that Zayn was clearly staring outright to him.

Zayn cocked his head, his evil grin growing wider “So you two went on a date?” He asked with a mocking tone.

“I, well - Louis said we could consider it as a date.” Niall ended it with a loud ‘ha’, still pushing to Zayn all those things they bought, and Niall kept mentioning they bought those things in pairs.

“I see.” Zayn’s voice sends a tingling sensation down on Louis’s spine, freezing him into his position. Zayn was about to turn around when Louis pulled the end of his shirt.

“Niall, you go ahead inside.” Louis’s stern voice was enough for Niall not to ask any more questions; and even if his suspicion for the two of them just kept growing, he decided he’ll figure it out sooner or later.

Louis waited until Niall was out of his sight before he let go of Zayn’s shirt.

“Okay, I’m just going to say this once, so you better listen carefully.”

Zayn as trying hard not to show him that he was enjoying this moment, although he already is so he just nodded and listened to whatever Louis was about to say.

“I don’t want you mentioning to Niall anything about what we’re doing.” Louis huffed.

“Mind if I ask ‘why’?”

Louis paused and was caught into the deep gaze of Zayn. This bastard that always gets what he wants.

“No reason. Just don’t and whatever you told Niall back there when I was asleep, take it back.” Louis started to carry out his bags and walked his way towards the door. “If you say another thing about us, I swear I will kill you Zayn Malik.”

“Ohh.” Zayn shook his head, leaning in so close; Louis wasn’t able to move his face away from him. “You’re so bossy, I like that.”

“Shut up.” Louis managed to pull himself away before hitting Zayn with his bag. “Don’t think of doing these things now that Niall’s here. I won’t forgive you.”

“Are you up for another challenge again, Lou-Lou. You know you’re not good at it.”

“Well yeah? I’d try again and this time, I’ll win.” Louis replied with a tacky voice.

“We’ll see about that.”


	16. Chapter 16

Louis didn’t know what it was or rather; he doesn’t want to accept it. He must be imagining things, he was sure of it. There was this uneasy feeling crawling into his whole system, a not-so good one and Louis just wanted to completely shrug it off because it was insane – really – it was insane to feel hot and sweaty, and hear your own breath hitching whenever he sees Zayn.

And so it was way too wrong because there was no way Louis was going to admit he’s getting hard just by seeing Zayn walking topless on his peripheral vision, right now. No way.

Maybe it was Zayn’s plan to make him feel like this (or maybe that was Zayn’s plan all along, he’s just too blind to notice the little things), whatever it was, Louis had no plans falling for it and he wouldn’t allow it to happen, especially in front of his innocent childhood friend, Niall, who seem to be getting a hint of what was actually going on inside the house.

All Louis wanted was to win this challenge this time and it was so damn simple (as Louis always thought). He just had to stay away from Zayn until Niall leaves, which is about three more exhausting, long days and make sure nothing, would come out of that stupid mouth of Zayn. Most of all, he should never let Niall know anything about their “relationship” (because Louis doesn’t really know how to address this acquaintance he sort of have with Zayn, so he’ll just settle with this indefinite word).

Louis would be lying if he wasn’t at least say he was quite successful leading Niall away from Zayn so he doesn’t have to hear unnecessary information that wouldn’t really make his life any better, which reminds him that he still wasn’t able to know what the hell did that bastard told Niall that night he was asleep.

For the last 48 hours, Louis let Niall stick with him as much as possible (except when he’s going to class), and it doesn’t really bother him since he knows that Niall liked the idea as well and it wouldn’t make him that suspicious at all. He agreed with the idea of Niall accompanying him home until he leaves so that makes it more easier for Louis to keep him by his side and then they’d spend the night either eating at a certain place that caught Niall’s attention or go for a movie marathon on their living room. Anything was fine for Louis, as long as they won’t be interrupted by Zayn.

And then there goes Louis’s little problem. He didn’t actually notice it at first when Zayn had been awfully out of his tops for a while no matter where or when he sees him inside the house. The worst part was that Louis thinks Zayn is aware of what was happening inside his body that whenever he looks at him, Zayn would casually brush his fingers along his tan skin. One time, he noticed something much weird like the way his adam’s apple just moves whenever he gulps down something or whenever his jaw clenches when he eats something and – Shit.

Now Louis wanted to touch himself.

He uncomfortably shifted on the couch his whole body occupied, as he watched Niall looked for a good one to watch this time. He could see Zayn’s figure behind the telly, leaning forward to the fridge’s content and Louis needed to look away, he needed to stop himself from staring at his perfectly sculpted body…He shuts his eyes instead and took in some huge breathes, telling to himself that he won’t lose to him, over and over again.

“Is there something wrong, Lou-Lou?” The low, raspy voice of Zayn made him shot his eyes wide open and right where their eyes met, he saw Zayn’s hazel eyes, looking down at him, his naked torso almost too near at him – too near he could smell his body soap, too near he could see the prominence of his body, the tattoos and now Louis thinks, I’m not checking out Zayn Malik, there’s no way I’d be doing this.

So he settled for looking away before he gulped. Hard.

“N-Nothing.” He was just about to lift himself up and just head towards Niall when Zayn stopped him by sitting on the small space of the couch where his hips were now meeting the back of Zayn.

“Mind if you give me some space?” Zayn nudged his back on Louis’s thigh, sending uneven friction towards his body right into the very end of his fingers. He moved his legs up, mentally throwing the table at Zayn because he wasn’t supposed to be here. He wasn’t supposed to watch movie with Niall because he hated him and he wasn’t supposed to be touching him or nudging his naked back on his thigh even if he was wearing his PJ’s because it’s just so wrong and the feeling is way, too strong.

“Thanks.” Zayn winked at him, accidentally placing his cold bottle of beer at Louis’s toes that it made him yelp by the sudden contact, catching the attention of Niall and his mom who was still in the dining room.

“You guys are upto another movie marathon?” Johannah asked pushing the chair away and grabbing the papers she’s been working at for almost an hour after dinner.

“Yeah, Louis just got an awful amount of free time, so we’re just using it, right Lou –“ Niall looked back and Louis wondered if that expression of his, was shock, pain, disappointment or embarrassment, seeing the two of them (Zayn and him) together at the same couch, not him.

“Right. Christmas vacation has been getting into some of the professors so they don’t actually care now if you’re late or you wouldn’t come to class at all.” Louis added. He watched her mom took a flight upstairs, gave him a flying kiss and bid the three lads, goodnight.

So they were left on that situation downstairs, Louis still lying on his back, while Zayn was on the other end of the couch and Niall, left with no choice, decided he’ll just sprawl his body onto the floor and huddle in with a bowl of popcorn and a bottle of beer.

This time, they decided they’ll be on an animated marathon and Niall picked Megamind.

The movie went on and they were silent for a while. Louis knew he had to be laughing on some part where this big, purple-headed, villain did something funny, but the truth was his mind was elsewhere.

He might be right there, staring into the television but he wasn’t paying any attention to what was happening on the movie at all. There was only one thing running into his mind right now and that was for Zayn not to dare lay a finger on him, no matter what happens.

Louis took a quick look towards Zayn and he wished he never did because he didn’t need to see how Zayn put the bottle’s mouth towards his lips because fuck – he just remembered how his first kiss felt like; how perfect he thought it was even if Niall was there, even if he hated him, it was just fucking perfect it pisses him off even more. Louis wasn’t aware that he was already biting his bottom lip when he continued to watch Zayn slowly drinks that beer and his feet just moved involuntarily, feeling a twitch under his belly.

The slight movement made Zayn look at him and then he saw his eyes linger something on his pyjamas.

What?

And then Zayn smirked.

Wait.

He looked down, he was wearing his favourite PJ’s (which makes it unbearably too fitted to be called one) and well shit – he was hard, and Zayn saw it and now he’s lost it because the next thing he knew, Zayn’s palm was already resting on his bulge, making Louis’s hips bucked the moment Zayn applied pressure on his hand.

No, no, no. Louis kept saying the mantra on his head. This isn’t happening, of all the places. Of all the people. He would rather die than seeing Niall sees him like this, flustered and helpless just because of one touch and NO – they’re in the living room, the very center of their house and if ever one of his sisters, or his mom or his dad walks into them like this, he’d rather be dead than answer their questions or even look at them in the eye and – Shit.

Zayn’s hands were moving, his fingers merely giving weight on his strained cock, his palm lightly grasping the shape of his base and Zayn was moving his hand so slow it was killing Louis.

Louis had to keep his eyes open, he had to look away from whatever Zayn was doing and looked at Niall’s direction, shit he’s not really doing this, is he? But he was. He was starting to breathe heavily, panting each time Zayn moved a little faster.

“Fuck.” Louis breathed out, and he was lucky enough to cover his mouth the moment the words slipped out. He glared at Zayn who kept with his composure of looking at the telly, watching with amusement as if he wasn’t doing anything and Louis wished he could just be like that. Zayn took another sip and this time, his fingers reached for the band of his PJ’s.

No way. There’s no way in hell are we going to do this.

So for the first time in his life, his body followed what his mind had thought of and Louis reached for Zayn’s hand and pushed it away.

“So you’re learning to fight back now.” Zayn finally turned to face him, his eyes, burning with such gaze Louis had no idea if it’s anger, lust or the worst part was, he felt like he’s being challenged again.

Louis got the urge to retort back. “’Course I am. There’s no way I’m going to allow you to that sort of thing while Niall’s here.”

“Oh really? You know Louis,” Zayn leaned in closer, “you don’t have any idea what you do to me every time you put on that expression of yours, that expression that shouts something like…”

Louis froze into his position as Zayn pinned him down and bites his earlobe without even looking at Niall as he whispers,

“…you want me to fuck you, real hard.”

“Shit!” Louis hisses back attempting to hit Zayn but Zayn’s hands were fast enough to clasp both of Louis’s wrists above his head, his knee sliding down on his cock and Louis was starting to lose the fight again.

Niall didn’t seem to hear any commotion behind him as the movie progressed on the action scene.

“Stop it…” Louis moaned. “Zayn…”

“You’re lying again, Lou-Lou. You don’t want me to stop, do you?” Zayn pressed his knee harder and Louis whimpered beneath him pitifully. Zayn watched him with pleasure as he saw Louis’s strong facade completely breaks in front of him. Louis was starting to push his straining cock on Zayn’s knee, getting enough friction just to let all these cluttered feeling inside him disappear one by one. But as the more he feels Zayn, the more he wanted him.

Zayn surged his lips towards Louis’s, and he was easily intoxicated by the taste and smell of beer whirling on his tongue, feeling Zayn vehemently conquered his mouth, his chest pressed on his chest, giving him a hard time to control his breathing and he was getting more and more aroused by the nudging of Zayn’s knee on his cock.

Zayn had moved his lips down to his favourite spot on Louis’s neckline, just above his collarbone, and Zayn sucked that part without question, biting it until Louis bucks his hips again, his cock sliding on Zayn’s knee over and over again and he had to keep himself from fluttering his eyes shut because he still has to watch over Niall.

“You do know what you’re upto when you’ve challenged me, Louis.”

Shut up. Shut up. Louis opened his mouth but no words seems to come out right as he catches his own breathe, watching Zayn lets go of his hand and slowly pulls himself away from him.

He teased him, he touched him and then he’ll leave him like this? You’ve got to be fucking kidding me, Louis thought. He watched Zayn grab another bottle and went back to watching the ending part as if nothing happened. Louis could actually see it, he could see the way Zayn’s face pull into that devilish grin that just showed him who won on this challenge. This person had planned this one out, he planned to watch with him, make him look like he wanted it so badly and then leave him hanging so at the end of the day, he’d still be the one wanting it.

You fucking bastard. I will kill you, I swear, I will.

Louis was almost about to kick the hell out of Zayn when Niall looked back.

“Lou, what movie are we going to watch next?”

Zayn promptly moved his head and waited for his answer, that smug on your face, one day I will wipe it. Louis made sure he glared back at Zayn before he finally realizes that the thing he was feeling for the past few days didn’t disappear at all, it just grew stronger and now it was burning every inch of his body.

He couldn’t take another hour, or minute or second with this person on the same couch as he is.

“Where are you going?” Zayn innocently asked.

Somewhere where I can’t see your fucking face. Louis turned to Niall instead, “I don’t feel like watching anymore, sorry. I’ll be off to bed now, goodnight.” He answered hastily, leaving the Irish looking more confused than he ever was.

—-

Louis throws himself onto his bed, muffling his angry screams on his pillow. This is so fucking frustrating. He had the urge to slam the door and to throw things like a five year old kid but at least he’ll get the frustration out of him, except that he can’t because his whole family’s asleep now and he wouldn’t know what to say if they ask him what’s wrong.

Because honestly, he doesn’t understand why he’s getting so furious towards Zayn. Was it because he touched him and Niall was there? Because Zayn had won this fucking challenge again? Because he couldn’t take his eyes off of Zayn? Or was it because he touched him and he left him in the middle of nowhere and now he had to deal with it himself?

He suddenly heard footsteps approaching his room, so he immediately rolled over and faced the window, burying himself under the sheets.

“What did you do to Louis back there? He looks so pissed.” Niall murmured but it was clear enough for Louis to hear. (Please don’t tell him what you did, please oh please)

He heard the rustling of the sheets, they were off to bed by now.

“I didn’t do anything. He told me he got some problem.” Zayn coolly answered. (What? Since when did I tell you I have a problem?)

“And what is it?”

“I don’t know. He told me he’ll deal with it himself.” Louis could almost hear him smile. (Yes. Thanks to you, you arse.)

“You’re not bothering Louis at any way, aren’t you?” Niall suspiciously asked.

Louis heard the movement behind him; they must be both lying on the bed right now. He still couldn’t believe Zayn let him sleep with Niall, saying he won’t allow him to be alone with Zayn.

“I’m not bothering Louis at all, Mr. Inspector. Now, if you would allow me, can I go to sleep now?”

Niall huffed, not bothering to reply back and Louis was thankful it was the end of the conversation.

—-

It was silent for a while and Louis must’ve been the only one awake now. He glanced at his clock: 2:35 AM. He got himself out of the sheets and peeked to the two bodies lying on his floor, both of their eyes shut. Niall’s gently snoring and Zayn was facing the door, making it impossible for Louis to see if he was asleep. But he knew Zayn was a fast sleeper, there’s no way he’s going to be awake right now.

“You’re lying again, Lou-Lou. You don’t want me to stop, do you?”

Hearing that voice of Zayn again made his body react, he felt his cock grew rapidly hard again.

Louis moved back inside the duvet and shut his eyes; I’m going to sleep, I’m going to sleep… But the more he contradicted what was running through his head, the more flashes of what happened back there keeps on coming back. No. He’s not going to touch himself because he could hear Zayn’s – hot – voice ringing inside his head. He’s not going to do this because he could still feel the heat on his cock where Zayn’s palm rested a while ago. No. He’s not going to do it. Damnit.

Why now? Why should he feel something like this when Niall’s in the same room with him? Why does he have to remember how it felt like kissing Zayn on their first kiss? And how all of it still ends up to the first time Zayn had touched him that very same night? That moment that he never told anyone except to himself.

BUZZ.

Louis flinched; his phone was vibrating somewhere under his pillow.

BUZZ.

Seriously? Someone’s calling him on this bloody hour? He knew one person could only do this. He was sure Harry would be drunk calling him again and asks him these silly questions – except that the name he just found on his phone was not Harry.

Incoming call: Zayn Malik.

What the actual fuck is going on?

—-

He swiped his finger and put the phone on his ear.

“What the fuck are you doing?” Louis scowled.

“I thought you were asleep.” Zayn replied.

“I thought you were asleep, Zayn.”

“Well, I’m talking to you right now, so that means I’m not.”

Louis rolled his eyes, this lunatic is getting worse.

“Are you still thinking about it?”

“About what?”

“About our first kiss and your first time with me.” Zayn bluntly replied.

Wait. What? Did he just heard him right? First kiss and his first time. No. No way. How in the world did he know he was thinking about it, he didn’t say anything to him for the past two days, not even to Niall. Except –

“Harry told me. If that’s what you’re thinking.”

“That asshole.” He noted that he’ll probably kill Harry first before burning Zayn alive.

“So are you?”

“Why are we even talking on phone?”

“It’s because you don’t want to talk to me. And I believe you’re avoiding me because Niall’s here.” Louis heard the rustling of the sheets on the phone and on the floor. This is not his imagination, he’s really talking to Zayn right now, in the same room, this is stupid.

“I’m hanging up now. Go back to sleep.”

“If you pressed that end button, I’ll sleep beside you, Lou. And you don’t have any idea what will I do.”

“Shit! Damnit, Zayn! Aren’t you just going to let me rest?”

“I’m actually calling you ‘cause I want to help you get rid of that problem of yours, the one that we weren’t able to finish back at the living room.” Zayn’s voice turn soft and breathy he felt like he was just beside him, whispering to him those words.

“What? I – I don’t need your help, you bastard.” Louis shuffled underneath the sheets; he went to the other side of his bed so he would at least know if Zayn decided to attack him.

“Of course you do, Lou-Lou.” Zayn sighed. “Aren’t I the one who helped you when it was your first time to feel like that?”

“Stop it.” Louis bit his bottom lip; his body was beginning to react again. “I don’t want to remember anything on what happened that night.”

“You’re lying again, Lou. I thought I was the only one who kept that in mind, but I was glad to know that you still remember it.”

“Who told you I remember anything – I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Louis lied and he really wanted to press the ned button now, he could just sleep and if ever Zayn attacks him, he’ll kick him off, but Niall would be awake, and then he’ll see what the two of them were doing and now his whole mind was in chaos.

“Oh, I could remind you, Louis. I could tell you every detail of it.” Zayn murmured. “That look on your face when I came back to your house and you were alone in your bed, looking at your straining cock, not knowing what you should do about it.”

“Stop…” Louis moaned. He rolled onto his back and pulled his knee up, his other hand held the phone while the other slides between his legs.

“And then you looked at me with those begging eyes, almost telling me that I should do something about it…” Zayn hummed, he heard another movement over the phone, what could he be doing now?

“I slipped onto the same sheet with you, Lou-Lou. I looked at you and you’re jaw was almost dropping, as if begging me to surge back into your lips again…”

Louis’s cock twitched, and he couldn’t help it. He lifted his arse and pulled down his PJ’s to his toes, kicking them with care not to make noise. He slid his hand inside his boxers, palming into his throbbing erection.

“And then I lost the will to control myself, because you’re just so hot and so beautiful, Lou-Lou. You’re eyes are so distracting, I even asked you to close them, right?”

“Y-yeah.” Louis breathed out.

“I pressed my lips back into your lips, and this time, we did something Niall wasn’t able to see. I bit your lips for how many times and you keep moaning as I slid my tongue on your mouth.”

Louis automatically follows and he did moan.

“Then when you were almost out of breath, I saw that exposed skin just on top of your collarbone and I sucked it, hard.” Zayn moaned as well, Louis knew Zayn must be touching himself by now. He tightly wrapped his fingers on the base of his cock keeping himself from coming.

“And then when I felt your cock on my thighs, I knew what you wanted. You looked at me, and you’re eyes told me that I could do anything, right –“

“Fuck yes.” Louis cut him off, and he heard Zayn chuckled.

“I wrapped my fingers on your cock, Lou – are your fingers on your cock now?” Zayn murmured.

“Y-yes…”

“Then I let you feel me as well, both of our hard erections, nudging, and you’re whimpering, whispering my name, over and over again as I start out slowly…”

Louis wasn’t able to hold his voice when he whimpered, eyes fluttering in each time he stroked himself in such a slow pace.

“Zayn…”

“I moved my wrists faster then, seeing your face getting more and more aroused beneath me, calling my name. I’d run my thumb on your tip, and see if you’re almost dying to come, do you want to come now, Lou?”

Louis was almost rocking his hips, meeting his pumps, wanting to go faster.

“Yes. I need to come Zayn – fuck – make me come…”

“Shit. That’s now how you sounded back then at all.” Zayn groaned, his breathe hitching as Louis heard the soft whimper on the other end of the line. “I’d pump your cock, faster and faster, seeing your struggle beneath me, wanting to make it last, not wanting to make me see you come before me – “

Louis cursed over the phone, he could see that night where Zayn had climbed over his window and saw him without his pants, looking at his own cock, wondering why it felt so hot, why he felt like there’s something he need to do to get himself out of this pain. And then Zayn was there, kissing him, wrapping his arms around his body, their erections nudging and Louis whimpering beneath Zayn.

Louis lost focus when he closed his eyes and imagined Zayn’s rough hands wrapped around his cock, stroking him, his back arching from the pool of pleasure that washed over him that night and the very same feeling now.

“Zayn!” Louis wasn’t able to hold his voice when he reached his climax, spilling his load on his hand; his heavy panting went in sync with Zayn’s soft grunts, listening to him close when he heard his name at the end of the line.

Louis could still remember the way Zahn was looking at his eyes and it never changed, it never did, even upto now. It was always that same burning gaze Louis always felt like losing into, breaking all his will to push him away and just let him do what he wanted him to do.

“Told you I’m here to help.” Zayn cockily said.

“Shut up.”

Zayn laughed quietly. “Goodnight, Lou.”

“Yeah – goodnight, Zayn.”

That night, Louis knew it was never going to be the same again with Zayn and that there was only one thing for him to do, and that was to run away from him, expecting that he would never find him again so he doesn’t have to deal with his confused feelings anymore and just live a normal life.

But eventually, everything seemed to be just how Zayn planned to make Louis fall for him, over and over again.


	17. Chapter 17

Louis slowly slipped his hands on the waistband of his PJ’s. He tried to let go of the uneasy feeling that’s been bothering him between his legs. He kicked the duvet out of his body. He was sweating and panting, curiosity and fear hovering at him as he stared down to his cock.

He shouldn’t have felt this way towards a guy. Of all the people that will be the reason for this, why Zayn? He never really imagined and it never occurred to him that he could feel an unexplainable lump of arousal because of Zayn’s lips pressed onto his. So why was his stomach flipping and he felt like bursting from an unknown feeling all of a sudden?

To his luck, he was quite grateful his family wasn’t home tonight. Imagine his mom or his sister walking into his room with him staring at his dick and having no fucking idea that he was aroused because of a simple kiss. He doesn’t even want to imagine if his dad would be the one walking in; he’d rather die than see the look in his eyes.

He was a big guy now, Louis William Tomlinson, age 15, what the hell is wrong with your dick in this bloody hour? For Christ’s sake, he should know how to deal with this one, right? Except that he’s really not interested when his friends talk about girls on smelly magazines and watching movies that all he could hear was grunting and a lot of forced orgasmic voices, so he really had no idea how to relieve himself from the misery.

Zayn’s image just jept on flashing before him and the pain just grew bigger.

Maybe I should just touch myself, and figure it out when I feel what the right thing to do is.

Before he could do something about it, two knocks from his window made him immediately pull his pants up and stares back to the silhouette that was creepily crouching on his window sill.

Who could it be? His heart raced. If it was his friends from high school and they saw him like that, it would probably be the end of him. Louis yelped when two more knocks came from it. There was only one thing in his mind: it’s a fucking thief. Those kinds of thieves that monitor your house for the whole week and then seeing your parents aren’t home, attacks you then kills you.

It wasn’t the nicest imagination Louis could think of, and it made him huddle his knees closer to his chest. The silhouette remained there, watching him closely, his every move and a wrong decision he might be lying cold and lifeless on his own bed. He inhaled sharply and did the first thing that came to his mind, opening his goddamn lava lamp and see who the fuck it is.

So he did, and in an instant, his room was filled with this cozy, warm and yellow light and when he turned to the window, his fear diminished: it was Zayn.

All the murderous imaginations disappeared the moment he scrambled out of his bed, running to his window and opening it for Zayn without really thinking why the hell Zayn was in his window and aacting like a completely, creepy stalker. Before he could ask him the very same question that was running through his head, he felt Zayn’s cold hands cup into his cheeks and within a matter of seconds, Zayn’s lips was back to his lips.

This time, it was different; it was wet and sloppy, and hot. He could feel Zayn’s hand sliding to his waist, pushing him and guiding him back to his bed. He doesn’t really understand if the feeling was like floating or getting buried six feet under the ground because of how heavy his heart was feeling. To add to his slight discomfort, he doesn’t have any idea what do with his mouth – was he supposed to flick his tongue like the way Zayn was doing? Would it be alright to bite? GOD – how could he be so clueless when it comes to these things?

The only time he was able to use his hands was that time Zayn has pinned him on his bed, lavishing him with the swipe of his tongue inside his mouth /inandoutinandout/ it replays inside Louis’s head that he couldn’t see or feel anything except the growing feeling that was erupting on his system. The sensation of Zayn’s sharp teeth biting his lip made him moan and there was only one thing that was running through his head: breathe. He needed to fucking breathe because passing out was the last thing he wanted to happen on this situation.

“Louis”

Zayn pulled his lips away from his and moved past his cheeks. His hot breathe on his right ear made his eyes flutter.

“Lou…”

His voice seemed to change back then, Louis remembered not hearing Zayn’s voice this low and raspy…

“LOU!”

He shot his eyes wide open, a not-so younger looking Zayn was staring right in front of him. A not-so younger looking Zayn – okay. That’s not the right words to think of the moment you open your eyes…

He shut his eyes and then opened them again, only to find Zayn looking more confused than before. He was still there. Louis ignored his presence and turned into his right, where his window was situated and only to realize – this was a different house. There’s no big window to fit a younger Zayn, there’s no lava lamp to illuminate the room and there was no stupid Louis trying to figure out how to relieve himself from his own problem.

This is real. He was awake. All of it was a dream. It was a dream, a fucking dream. SHIT.

To his shock, he rise up immediately and accidentally knocked Zayn’s head. But he didn’t bother apologizing, the stream of thoughts showered at him like British rain on a gloomy afternoon, everything went complete chaos inside his head. He rolled onto the other side of the bed whilst wrapping himself with his dark blue duvet.

Embarrassment knocked him hard on his head. He could feel the rush of blood on his face it made him cover it with his hands. He moved his hips uncomfortably as he curled up; feeling his semi-hard between his legs. Fucking hell. Did Zayn saw it? Was he watching this whole time? Oh no. Zayn must’ve found another way to laugh at him.

“Lou? Are you alright?”

Innocent as it may seem, Louis felt slightly relieved that Zayn didn’t say it straight out the moment he woke up. Maybe he’ll be singing it later ‘remember when I was about to wake you up and you flashed your boner in front of me?’ God. This is embarrassing. How could he dream of something like that all of a sudden? Then the realization hits him – of fucking course – he and Zayn just did this some kind of phone sex while Niall was asleep. While Niall was asleep. He repeated it as if trying to convince himself he didn’t just think of Niall sleeping, but he really isn’t. What if he was really awake that time? What if he was hearing all those noises he was doing? Double embarrassment. Better yet he could just die now.

Still feeling the weight on the other side of the bed, Zayn must’ve been waiting for his answer.

He inhaled sharply. “I’m fine. I was just kind of a bit shock.”

“Oh, sorry. I didn’t mean to. Breakfast is ready, everyone’s waiting.”

Louis shakes his head beneath the sheets and hoped that Zayn saw it and just let it go. He remained on this position. There was no way he’ll face Zayn right now and hear any of his teasing about what happened last night and how he sounded so fucking desperate and so fucking wanting to feel Zayn’s touch. He groaned.

This was his fault anyway. Who in the right mind would pick up his phone on the bloody time of the day with someone calling you by the name of Zayn Malik who is just a person away from you? He should’ve known about these little things before – and before he could feel Zayn leaving his bed, he wondered if it was the right decision to open his window and let him in to his room in the first place.

—-

That afternoon, Zayn received a phone call from Liam about a certain band who was ought to sing for the night, backed out all of a sudden with notice and a valid reason. It was the first time Louis heard Liam over the phone continuously put the word ‘fucking’ on every word he said and it was really, really loud.

Hearing this, Louis thought this could be an opportunity for him to cool his head off and try to do something that won’t remind him of anything about Zayn or their past. He was avoiding Zayn since this morning, thinking ‘you just don’t say you hate someone and then give him some sounding so desperate with his moaning’.

He grabbed the phone from Zayn’s hand and decided he’ll give it a try. He could sing – he was singing when he was still young and he always loved karaoke and he’s still singing with Harry when he got some time – so it won’t be a big problem.

“I’ll sing.” Louis said. Niall looked a bit surprised but Zayn’s expression was more amused than questioning. Liam started saying ‘thank you’ in every way he could until his boss’s voice called him out.

“Can I come with you?” Niall asked, eyes sparkling with enthusiasm. At the back of his mind, Louis wanted to be alone, to have this time just for himself, to think through things. But of course, he can’t just leave Niall alone, after all, he only had two more days to stay, so why be selfish?

“Yeah, sure,” replied Louis. He glanced towards Zayn’s direction, half-wishing he won’t volunteer to come as well and half-wishing he would, out of no apparent reason. Sometimes he wondered if his brain had a life on its own.

“Well, guess I’ll help too.”

“What?” It wasn’t the answer Louis was expecting from Zayn. This help he was referring to, was he referring to the singing thing? ‘Cause there’s no way he’ll be singing with Zayn on stage.

Although with Zayn, there is always a way.

—-

“Louis! Zayn! My saviours!” Liam welcomed them at the bar’s entrance, arms spread as if he’s ready to hug 20 kids all at once, although, they’re just for two people – except Zayn’s not the hugger type of person, so that leaves him to Louis. He caught a glimpse of a new face behind Zayn, fiddling his fingers with the stairs’ railings. “Who’s the new kid?”

“Oh,” Louis pulled from the hug and turned to face Niall, “he’s name’s Niall. My childhood friend, he went here for a visit.” Niall beamed at Liam and they both knew formal introduction weren’t needed anymore.

“Hey Niall, name’s Liam, and I am the captain of this ship!” Liam proudly said as he placed his hands on Louis’s and Zayn’s shoulders. Louis thought Liam must’ve been really high today – the pressure must’ve made him drink a lot.

“You are the captain of what?” Louis exasperated, pulling away, yet again from Liam’s hold.

“I can’t believe you don’t know what ship is. Anyway, don’t mind me; I’m just really happy the two of you exists. Go on now, off to the stage! You’ve just got five minutes to prepare.” Liam ushered him inside. “Don’t worry about Niall, I’ll keep him company.” 

“F-five minutes? Wait I can’t – we haven’t chosen a song yet! Liam!“ But Liam wasn’t listening, he was too happy to complete his job for the day.

—-

Louis was nervous when he saw the anticipation of the audience from his perspective on the stage. It’s Friday night and surely, they’re expecting for a ‘performance’ not an X-factor audition. He was still (sort of) avoiding Zayn so he gave him the decision to what song they’re going to sing so that he’ll stop bugging him on asking ‘is this one okay?’ or ‘you sure you want this one?’ He just wanted to get this over with. He wasn’t expecting a nice performance either, there was no way they’re going to look at each other’s eyes and sing every line as if it was made just for them.

Zayn handed him the microphone and winked back at him. Flushed cheeks was the only thing that Louis was able to respond with. Louis’s knees quivers and whether it’s because of Zayn’s wink and presence or nervousness, he doesn’t want to know.

“What song are we going to sing again?”

Zayn smiled deviously. Don’t tell me they’re going to sing the Barney song, or Elmo’s world ‘cause Louis’s just felt the urge of kicking someone in the balls right at this moment if he said the wrong song.

“Stand Up –“

“What?” Louis turned vigorously. “Stand up? Seriously?!”

The stage lit up and it was ready to eat Louis alive, he thought. Stand Up. Of fucking course. Zayn would choose something that they could sing every line as if it was made just for them.

Zayn sings the first verse, staring at Louis’s and Louis was trying to tell him he was not the ‘audience’ but Zayn didn’t really mind.

From the moment I met you everything changed  
I knew I had to get you whatever the pain  
I had to take you and make you mine

I would walk through the desert I would walk down the aisle  
I would swim all the oceans just to see you smile  
Whatever it takes is fine

And left with no choice, Louis joined in.

Oh oh oooh oh so put your hands up  
Oh oh oooh oh coz it’s a stand up  
And I won’t be leaving ‘til I’ve finished stealing every piece of your heart  
Every piece of your heart.

Louis continued,

I know your hearts been broken but don’t you give up  
I’ll be there yeah I know it to fix you with love  
It hurts me to think that you’ve ever cried

Oh oh oooh oh so put your hands up  
Oh oh oooh oh coz it’s a stand up  
And I won’t be leaving ‘til I’ve finished stealing every piece of your heart  
Every piece of your heart

Oh oh oooh oh so put your hands up  
Oh oh oooh oh coz it’s a stand up  
And I won’t be leaving ‘til I’ve finished stealing every piece of your heart

He looked away but right now, there was only one thing he could see, Zayn’s eyes gazing into his very soul as he sings his part.

And now we’ll steal us a car  
And we will drive to the stars  
I will give you the moon  
It’s the least I can do  
If you give me the chance

Oh oh oooh oh so put your hands up  
Oh oh oooh oh coz it’s a stand up  
I’m a thief  
I’m a thief  
You can call me a thief  
I’m a thief  
I’m a thief  
But since you know your part  
I’m a thief  
I’m a thief  
I’m only here  
I’m a thief  
I’m a thief  
Because you stole my heart

(Oh oh oooh oh) I’m a thief I’m a thief  
So put your hands up  
(Oh oh oooh oh) I’m a thief I’m a thief  
Coz it’s a stand up  
And I won’t be leaving ‘til I’ve finished stealing every piece of your heart  
(I’m only here)  
Coz you stole my heart

(Oh oh oooh oh) I’m a thief I’m a thief  
Call me a thief  
(Oh oh oooh oh) I’m a thief I’m a thief  
Coz you know your part  
(Oh oh oooh oh) I’m a thief I’m a thief  
I’m only here  
(Oh oh oooh oh) I’m a thief I’m a thief

Because you stole my heart

—-

When they finished their performance, the whole bar was silent and Louis almost prepared himself for some deafening boos complimented with tomatoes thrown at them. But nobody did. Turns out, the audience was speechless by such an amazing presentation – and then there goes the cheers, the deafening applause and a few standing ovations.

Louis’s heart raced – maybe it was the adrenaline of finishing the song or maybe, it was the thought that Zayn was singing to him, that sexy voice of him and he had it all on stage.

—-

Louis left the stage earlier and went straight to the table where Niall and Liam was, standing, beaming and obviously proud at them.

“That. Was. Fucking awesome!” Liam’s throws himself at Louis again. “You guys just raised the bar for the performances that’ll be held in ‘ere. My boss is already thinking of hiring the two of you, what do you say?”

Louis shrugged. He had no plans of making this a serious career, let alone spends it with Zayn beside him on stage. There was no way he could live up with that atmosphere.

“Where’s Zayn?” Liam tiptoed to search for a familiar face, only to bring the two other lads to look into the direction he was looking at. “My God – Zayn became an instant celebrity!” Louis saw how Zayn was being flocked by girls (and also boys) back stage. He didn’t know what to feel about this. There was a sudden pang on his chest. He knew Zayn wasn’t really a big fan of having all the attention to himself. Louis had no issue with his spotlight only being lead to Zayn – it was probably the girls. It reminded him of something that happened before and everytime it did, it made him clench his jaw.

“Since Zayn’s a bit of celebrating as well, why not we got get some drinks? Good idea?” Liam bemusedly asked.

“That’s perfect.” Niall finally found the words to say.

Louis looked back at Zayn. “Yeah, absolutely.”

—-

“And then – we said ‘Happy St.Patrick’s Day all at once’!” Niall slammed his fist on the table as he lost the sound of his own voice when he laughed. Louis hysterically laughed as well, although he doesn’t really know what was he laughing about – there was nothing funny about greeting everyone at the street and greeted anyone Happy St. Patrick’s day – but his head was so light he just felt like laughing at anything Niall was saying.

To be honest, he was having a great time. They’ve been drinking for a while now, and the bar was getting packed. Their boss let him and Zayn take the time to celebrate so Louis did – but Zayn preferred to work or so he could continue flirting with those fangirls of him.

He stared at his station for some time, watching him whisk some drinks, smile to those girls and entertain them. “Pssh, if they only knew what kind of guy that bloke is.” Louis muttered under his breath.

“You really like Zayn, no?” Niall’s Irish accent pulled him back to his table.

“What?”

“Come on, Lou. There’s no use of hiding it anymore. I could clearly see it,” Niall blinked twice, emphasizing that he could literally see it. “I’ve seen the way you look at him. It’s just – you know, like watching every move he makes, carefully – shit, no I mean, with care. Full of care, right.” Niall chugged in his shot.

“R-really?” That wasn’t the question Louis wanted to ask – sounding so interested over Zayn’s topic and seriously? He looks at him full of care? Is Niall blind or something? That’s a fucking glare – he’s pretty sure it’s a glare. A deathly glare.

“Really,” Niall stressed. “The two of you up there, God, you look like some kind of couple singing their anniversary song and shit.”Louis smiled. Seriously? ‘Stand up’ would be an anniversary song for both of them? How romantic.

Niall took another swig from his glass, licking its flavour from his lips. Louis’s vision swirled – and he found his eyes staring towards Niall’s lips. They look so soft and he assumed that kissing them would be really, really good – he’d press his lips on them longer. But then Zayn’s face flashed before him. It reminded him of the complete opposite of Niall’s lips – rough, violent and possessive – and the one that made his stomach turn in an instant it touched his lips (and not to mention get awfully turned on by it).

“So, do you like him, or like, love him?” Niall said the word ‘love’ like a spell.

Love. What a big word to use.

“No, I don’t love him,” but Louis knew it was more like ‘I don’t know if it’s love or what but /I don’t love him/ is a safe answer. “It’s complicated, I guess? It’s the right word. Because I would never fucking understand his fucked up mind, he do these things…” Louis stopped himself, he was saying too much even if he was still sober.

Niall nodded, but Louis knew he wasn’t really listening. He knew this is a drunken conversation: everybody is talking and nobody’s listening.

“Man, I wished I could’ve taken that very chance to kiss you back then. You could’ve changed your mind.”Niall poured another one to his glass then to Louis’s.

“Maybe?” quipped Louis.

“Or maybe not,” Niall bitterly laughed, at this point Louis knew he was listening, “Even before Zayn kissed you on your room, you’ve always liked Zayn, Lou.”

Louis gaped but he decided he’ll just drown his question with the bitter taste of his alcohol.

“I told you, the way you looked at him, it’s just different. Way fucking different. Even if how many times you deny it or you say you hate him or whatever the fuck it is, your eyes, Louis. Your eyes tell everything. I saw how you looked at him when he was at your door, watching us and when I saw how you stared back at him – I knew at that moment, I was dumped.”

Niall sloshed down his drink between his teeth. He wiped the remains by the back of his palm. “And seeing you now, it never changed. How many years has it been? Six, seven?,” Niall didn’t wait for his exact answer as he continued. God, Niall was on a roll today. What is this, confession time with Louis? “That’s a long time, Lou. A long fucking time and yet he followed you in ‘ere. That guy’s crazy.”

Louis nodded. “But I’d do the same thing if you run away from me, Lou. I’ll do it.” Niall turned into a big pulp of tomato, it must be the drink or embarrassment – but Louis loved Niall’s honesty and how he can’t keep his secrets to himself. “But Zayn got you first.”

“Yeah, sort of.”

—-

“You sure you don’t want me to walk with you?” Louis followed Niall’s steps outside the bar. “God, it’s so cold tonight.”

“Nah, don’t mind me. I’ve been keeping this confession for years, and now that I was able to say it – I don’t know if I could face you again,” Niall said with a hint of smile on his lips. Louis thought he was just too adorable and innocent for him. “Just, let me walk by myself for a while. I have to admit defeat from Zayn soon.”

“You really don’t have to do that. That bastard’s going to think he won and shit.”

“Well, isn’t he already?” Louis kept his lips pursed. “Alright, I’ll stop now. The streets ain’t dangerous in ‘ere?” Niall wrapped himself with his jacket.

“Just don’t shout at that your Irish.” Louis chuckled.

“Right. Since when did London become so fucking racist?” Niall started to walk with larger steps and Louis knew this would be the last time they’re going to talk about this – about Zayn, about his feelings and about him. He didn’t know if he should be thankful Niall arrived at the first place. He was the reason why he became more confused and the fact that his past with Zayn came out made him question about his feelings for him. But without Niall, would things be different after what happened back at the beach? Would he realize nothing really changed back then? Ever since he left Zayn?

He turned around when Niall called his name.

“Hey, Lou? Just tell him you like him. It’s a start.”

—-

He walked back inside and the drinks he had was starting to kick in – he fell nauseated, dizzy and his knees were almost giving up. Good thing he managed to reach his table and sat immediately. “Fuck, I should’ve walked with Niall.”

“Or you could just call me.”

Zayn’s voice sent a different feeling inside his head. He kept thinking it was the drink, although he knew that this certain feeling isn’t really new to him – it’s the usual Zayn kind of thing you feel: stomach flipping, senses leaving you in an instant and all your resolve goes into complete zero.

“Well, you were busy.” Louis grumbled. He reached for the glass they left on the table.

“I could leave in an instant.”

Louis rolled his eyes. “As if I want to disturb you from your golden time with those girls.” Man, he felt like talking a lot tonight. Stupid drink, stop messing with me.

“They’re just being friendly.” Zayn sat across Louis’s but he didn’t seem to mind – or notice. He was too busy playing with his glass, when the thought of drinking went in again.

“You were obviously enjoying yourself, I could see it.”

Zayn looked too interested. “Oh, you were watching. How did I look back there? Do I look cool?”

Louis felt being pissed off but he won’t let this bastard get into him. “Your eyelashes were fluttering, you look like an idiot. And you – you smile at them with such innocence, it sends chills to my spine.” Louis mimed his arm as if hair was rising from it. He laughed – hard – and then swigged his drink in one gulp.

“I think it’s enough for tonight.” Zayn pushed his knuckles and went behind Louis. Zayn lifted him off to his seat and slings one of his arms to his neck, his other hand on his waist. He felt like falling, literally not figuratively. “Let’s go home.”

Louis didn’t want to and he wanted to remove every touch of Zayn on his body but he was too weak and too tired to struggle. Honestly, he was loving this courage (and talkativeness) he got – he could say everything to Zayn and the next day, he’d probably forget it or he could just tell he can’t remember anything he said.Maybe he could say it all tonight – his feelings, those that are deeply hidden inside him.

As they went out of the cold street and made their way home, Louis could smell the sweet mixture of smoke, alcohol, danger, the warmth of Zayn beside him and there was only one thing that was running through Louis’s head:

“Just tell him you like him. It’s a start.”


	18. Chapter 18

Louis could still feel the lightness inside his head as they walk their way home. Zayn was closely beside him, his hands on his waist, assisting him as his body sways after a couple of steps, drinks kicking in to his very nerves. He blinked twice, his eyes fixated on the other lad who was silent ever since they walk out of the bar. He wondered what was running through his head. Hell, he always wonders what was going on inside the head of Zayn.

Like a buzzing noise, Niall’s voice rings inside his head, reminding him of what he said before he went on his way home: “Just tell him you like him. It’s a start.”

Louis sighs, it isn’t that easy, you know? For someone like him who started to hate Zayn the moment he saw that smug on his face, saying that he likes him wasn’t even close to a start, it was the end. He took another glance to Zayn, his expression so passive, like he wasn’t feeling anything different, like he wasn’t feeling uncomfortable or uneasy at all. It was unfair.

 

Zayn was too used to this, but how come Louis wasn’t even near of being comfortable whenever Zayn was beside him? It was always a mystery to him how he ended up this way – how they ended up this way.

“You’re looking a lot lately,” Zayn said without looking at him, “is there something you want to tell me?”

Zayn’s fingers gripped tighter on his waist, pushing him closer to him, and Louis was left with no choice but to hold on to Zayn’s chest, trying to regain his balance. He was drunk but he could still think clearly, which was a bummer since he wanted to try to do what his body wants without deeply thinking things.

Louis innocently shook his head, earning a smirk from Zayn as they continued to walk. He went back to what he was thinking about what Niall said. Louis knew he was already on this part of pondering what he really thinks of Zayn back at the beach, but when Niall showed up, he felt more exposed, his feelings surfacing up one by one, and it was hard to keep denying them.

Sometimes he wished he could just be Zayn, how easily he could say things, because clearly, he wasn’t a big fan of talking your real feelings out. His only defence when it comes to his feelings were denying, or pushing himself away, or running away, because Louis, doesn’t understand these feelings himself.

“You still awake, Lou?” Zayn shakes him up a bit, and Louis realized he might’ve been sleepwalking, seeing his house infront of him all of a sudden. Louis nodded, and Zayn guided him towards the door. When Zayn knocked, Jay opened the door.

“I’m really sorry for this, Zayn. Did Louis bother you or anything?” Louis tried to glare back at his mum, treating him like a kid again, but Zayn did the answering for him.

“It’s nothing. I’m pretty much used to this side of Louis. He’s not really good at drinking a lot.” They were on their way upstairs when Zayn said something Louis didn’t believe hearing, “Is Niall here already?”

“Oh, yes. He’s sleeping in the couch, he said he won’t make it alive going upstairs,” Jay heped Louis taking the steps upstairs, before bidding the both of them goodnight, “Please take care of Louis for me, Zayn?”

“You know I always do.” Zayn smiled and Louis wanted to react but his mum interrupted his thoughts.

“Louis is so lucky to have you.” And with that, Louis heard the door shut.

—-

Zayn gently drops Louis to his bed, his body suddenly shifting from feeling so light to suddenly so heavy he can’t seem to move any part of it. He watched Zayn removed his shoes, then his socks, and then Zayn steps out of the bed, and went into his closet and started stripping off his own clothes.

Louis rolled to his side, his whole body facing Zayn’s naked body, he hardly blinked, trying to keep himself awake. He could say it now, right? He could say to Zayn that he likes him, while he still got this feeling of courage inside him. He can’t say it when he’s completely sober, but half-sober, half-drunk would make it.

Louis followed his eyes Zayn’s figure as he steps into the bathroom before completely shutting the door. For a minute, there was only silence, and then he heard the faint sound of shower from the inside. Louis wiped his face with his hand, slapping his cheeks to wake himself up. He can’t sleep right now, he neede to tell Zayn, he needed to tell him that ever since Zayn had himself stuck on his side, Louis was aware he liked Zayn.

Zayn was always there. When he was being called a ‘faggot’ by some of his classmates, Zayn stood up for him, he kicked their ass and none of them ever dare to bully or tease him again. When he was sick, and his parents were out of town, Zayn didn’t hesitate to take care of him, buy all the meds for him and even take care of his younger sisters. Zayn was an instant nanny at that time. Zayn was always there.

And what did he do when he became more aware of his feelings? He pushed him away. He avoided him and successfully ran away. Louis knew it was wrong, but what made it more wrong was the fact that Zayn didn’t even show any sign of giving up – so why? Why did Zayn even like him in the first place? Why did he choose to stick with him all the time, even if he keeps pushing away?

“Why are you still awake?” Zayn suddenly showed up in front of him, towel loosely wrapped on his waist, skin still glistening from the shower, and his scent surrounding the whole room.

“I – I, I was thinking about going to the bathroom.” Louis sits up and suddenly, his whole vision whirls. He felt like falling, and almost did, when Zayn quickly caught him by his arms.

“You should’ve told me, you’re still dizzy aren’t you?” Zayn helped him to stand up, knees feeling, Louis went inside the bathroom. “I’ll wait in here, wash yourself, and try to throw up a little, it’d make you feel better.”

“Uhm, yeah.” Seconds later, Louis was throwing up all the drinks that had been swimming inside his belly. He felt better; he washed his face, rinse some mouthwash and opened the door. Zayn was still there. It wasn’t supposed to mean anything from his perspective, but seeing Zayn crossed arms, obediently waiting for him brought a swelling pain inside his chest – he always waits for him. Zayn always takes care of him.

“You still look a little bit dazed.” Zayn was about to reach for his hand when Louis pushed it away, and instead, slam Zayn to the wall, his lips meeting Zayn’s. There was an obvious struggle at first, Zayn was confused, but Louis wasn’t. He runs his fingers through Zayn’s wet hair and pushed himself closer, bodies dangerously meeting and emitting friction.

Louis was about to stick his tongue out when Zayn hardly pushed him away. “Lou, why – why are you doing this?”

Louis could see the confusion in Zayn’s eyes, “D-don’t you like it?” Louis innocently asked, his heart stammering inside his chest as if it was going to explode any second.

Zayn leaned against the wall, his fingers touching his lips, “Of course I do, Lou. It’s just that you’re drunk and I don’t want you to do things that’ll make you hate me.”

“I’m not drunk. I was, but now, I’m not.” Louis reassured, taking a step closer to Zayn.

“How can I be sure you’re not drunk? What if you don’t remember this later?” Louis saw how Zayn averted his gaze from him and another sting welled inside him, he wondered if Zayn always looked like this everytime he tried to deny something that happened between them or to their past.

“I won’t. If I do, you could do anything to make me remember anything.” Louis really had this sudden courage to say shitty things like this, but hell, if this was some kind of potion that will only last for a day, he’ll use it to the extent.

“It’s still the alcohol talking, I assume.” Zayn hardly pressed and Louis was starting to get pissed. Now that he was actually saying the truth, he wouldn’t believe him, and when he’s all denying things, Zayn would fuck him until he says it – this person was more complex than he thought it would it be.

Louis took one big step forward, and now their chests were slightly brushing, hips bumping, and they could almost hear the irregular beating of their hearts. Zayn looked at Louis’s lips, as if his whole life depends on it. So even if Zayn wasn’t still sure what to do, Louis leaned in closer, lightly pressing his lips again, and leaving Zayn’s eyes fluttering both in disbelief and happiness.

“Again,” Zayn commands, And so Louis did. Zayn’s hands slowly wraps around his waist, his whole weight pressed onto that small space between the bathroom door and the closet, letting Louis put his full weight on him. Louis’s hand reached for the end of Zayn’s shirt, gripping tightly onto it as their mouths go deeper. Zayn’s fingers raked his hair, pulling his head to the side for a different angle and swiped his tongue on Louis’s bottom lip.

Louis whimpered in response, his knees going weak again as he tried to hold tightly to Zayn’s shirt. Zayn leaves Louis’s lips as he gasps for air, while Zayn started to press light kisses on his neck while his fingers unbuckles Louis’s belt. Louis felt Zayn’s fingers on his hips, and so he mirrored the other lad’s actions. He reached for the end of Zayn’s shirt, tugged a little and Zayn lets go of his belt to lift his arms up, letting Louis remove his shirt.

“You could still back out, Lou. I can still stop myself. I don’t want you doing things you don’t want to do.”

Louis pushed Zayn to the wall, their eyes meeting. “Is that question really coming from you? After all that forceful sex you did to me?”

“They weren’t forceful. If you hated it, you could’ve hit me afterwards. Instead, you settle with glares, which aren’t really working at all.” Zayn smirks, both hands on his waist, waiting for the signal to stop it or continue on with it.

“Right…it’s not that I hate it. But I didn’t like it either. It’s just…” Louis trailed off, thinking what to say next. He didn’t know what it really feels like after all. The feeling was overwhelming, confusing, and there was a lot of denial.

“..just?” Zayn cocks his head, waiting for Louis’s reasonable answer.

“I wasn’t aware of my feelings back then…” Louis bits his bottom lip, wondering if that was an enough answer for everything he did.

“And now you’re aware of them?” Zayn sounded so amused of what he was hearing.

“I guess?” Louis suddenly felt embarrassed, surely, he was sober. And thinking that he was sober and saying things like this was surprising.

“And what did your feelings say?” Zayn leans in closer, his lips hovering on Louis’s ear, sending shivers down his spine.

“I – I…” Louis stutters, “I, I like ymfff…”

Louis muffles the last word as Zayn’s lips surge into his, their bodies exchanging positions and Louis’s back hits the wall. “Say it again…”

“..you – I like you…” Louis repeats and Zayn’s fingers rip the buttons out of Louis’s shirt, exposing his chest, “H-hey! That’s my uniform – oh,oh…”

Louis moans as he felt Zayn’s tongue lands on his nipple, his lips pressed hard onto it, tweaking it, nipping and pulling, while his finger twisted the other one. Louis’s knees felt like giving in, confessing your feelings while doing this was draining the energy out of him. Zayn finally pushed his pants down together with his boxers, pooling on his feet, stepping out before doing the same thing at Louis’s.

“Say it again…” Zayn says, his hands squeezed his butt cheeks pulling their naked bodies closer, and Louis groaned as he felt their erections bump. “Lou…say it…”

Louis finds it quite ridiculous to repeat something over and over again, but he felt like Zayn had been waiting for this, for years. And now that he was able to hear it, he can’t seem to believe it, or maybe he just wanted to hear it repeatedly. Even so, Louis didn’t care, “Zayn, I like you…”

“Fuck, Louis… I’m still giving you one last chance, do you want me to stop?”

“You’re really asking me now, Malik? We’re fucking naked. Or we’re almost about to fuck – there’s no use in stopping.”

They exchanged smiles for a while, before Zayn finally breaks the silence, “Just remember there’s no way I’m stopping when you ask me to.”

—-

“Fuck, Zayn,” Louis breathes out, his fingers scratching on Zayn’s scalp as he feels Zayn mouth sliding in and out of his cock. He never felt so aroused before, his knees already gave up and his legs were spread on the floor while he leans against the wall. He couldn’t help but moan each time he could feel Zayn’s tongue on the underside of his cock, his teeth lightly scraping onto his skin and how he still manages to look straight at him. “I’m coming just by this…fuck-“

Zayn didn’t really mind what Louis said, cause that might be plan, and Louis cursed again, suddenly feeling Zayn’s fingers pressed on his balls, nudging, and smearing his precome all over it.

“I can’t – I can’t hold it anymore…” Louis was breathing through his nose, words choking him by the continuous work of Zayn on his cock. It wasn’t much later when Louis began to feel the heat on his stomach, and almost as if it was a cue, Zayn bobbed his head deeper, faster, “ZAayn, I’m – shit!”

Louis comes, and he felt Zayn’s tongue swipe over his slit and let him watch as Zayn swallows his release.

“God, that is hot.” Louis pants, seeing Zayn swipes his lips with his tongue.

“I’d really like to fuck in you in the bed, Lou…” Zayn started and Louis was just about to move when Zayn presses his palm on his hips, “…but that’s too far away so we’ll just have to do it here,”

“Oh, okay, sure – yeah,” Louis rambles and he let Zayn guide him.

“Turn over, Lou. Still want to make you feel good.” Louis nodded and carefully turns around, he rests his head on his arms while Zayn lifts his arse. “You’re so perfect, Lou.” Zayn lands a kiss on his cheeks, “so beautiful,” another kiss, “so perfect…”

Louis writhes on each time Zayn’s lips sucks his skin lightly, he still don’t know why Zayn likes him this much.

“How many times do you think I can make you come?” Zayn suddenly asks and Louis wonders how many times Zayn was going to fuck him senseless.

“I don’t know, why don’t you let me know?” Louis wasn’t sure if it they were doing dirty talk and shit, but he tried.

“Jesus, Louis. You just can’t say things like that. You might not walk tomorrow.” Louis bit his lips, Zayn’s voice was just so hot. “I hope Niall didn’t put anything in your drink, because there’s no way I’m going tosay ‘thank you’.”

Before Louis could reply, his hips snap with the sudden sensation that emerged from his spot – Zayn’s hand was spreading his cheeks, his wet tongue sliding into his rim, and Louis’s jaw drops from the overwhelming feeling pooling inside him, it was too much – but it wasn’t even close to that. Zayn licks it gently, circling his tongue around it and pressing his thumbs harder on his cheeks.

“Oh god – oh god,” Louis moaned, his head dropping onto his arms, his fingers scratching the carpet – he could feel Zayn’s tongue opening him up, squeezing his tongue inside, and pushing into it deeper. “Zaynzaynzaynzayn…too much..too much…” Louis whimpers, but he could only feel the vibrations of Zayn’s voice behind him, and then he was moving in and out. Zayn was not near to stopping, and Louis shot another release.

Louis crashes into the floor, his head feeling dizzy – he felt like he’s been doing presidential works for two straight weeks – but he knew this isn’t over yet. No he doesn’t want this moment to stop.

Zayn taps his waist, and Louis turns over, facing Zayn again. He’d never seen him this flustered before, he wasn’t really into his possessive side, he was more into the gentle and ‘i want you so much Lou’ side of him.

“Almost there, Lou…” Zayn leans in and kisses him into his lips, their foreheads bumping for a while before Louis could feel Zayn spreading him open again, “I’m sorry I can’t stop…”

“You don’t have to…” Louis caresses Zayn’s cheeks, he wanted this so much, “I like you…”

“Fuck – that’s cheating…” Zayn hisses, Louis feeling Zayn’s fingers rubbing circles on his rim. “I can’t let you have all the fun in here…” He finally smirks and then Zayn wraps his fingers on Louis’s cock, his thumb brushing on his slit.

“No, not that again, Z-ZAyn!” Louis grips onto Zayn’s biceps, feeling his first finger curls inside him, while Zayn presses his tip getly. “You can’t – ah – you can’t do that…”

But Zayn wasn’t listening or (maybe) he didn’t just care, he inserts the next finger, and pushed deeper into Louis’s.

Zayn had his three fingers in, moving and scraping his nerves, Louis’s mouth felt dry, no words seem to come right out of it anymore. Zayn leaned in to kiss him hard again, their tongues swirled, and Louis felt like he wasn’t breathing anymore. Louis was sure he was going to die of over stimulation. It was just too much – all of it.

“Please, Zayn…” Louis lets out two coherent words in between his moans and whimpers, “Zayn-“ He gripped onto Zayn’s skin even more, fingers digging, marks leaving.

“Yeah-?” Zayn asks, as if he doesn’t know what Louis wants. “What is it, Lou-Lou?”

“Inside me – please, can’t take it anymore. I’ll pass out if you continue doing this,” Louis complains, but still, there was gentleness on his voice, wanting to let Zayn know he wants this as bad as he does. Zayn hovers into his mouth and smiles.

“You’re too adorable, you know that?” Louis clenched his fist when he felt Zayn’s fingers pull out of inside him. He watched Zayn closely as his expression changes when he gave himself a few pumps first before lining himself up.

Zayn held his hips apart, lifting them to Louis’s chest, closely watching Louis’s expression as he slowly slides himself in – Louis mouth slowly opens, eyes fighting for vision and his grip getting firmer. Louis did not need to adjust, if he waits a minute longer, he’ll surely sleep while Zayn fucks him. “Move.”

“Already?” Zayn sounded worried.

“Fucking already,” Louis quirks a smile and then leans in close to Zayn, “Do it…”

“Fuck yeah,” Zayn shoves in, and started to move slowly, each push hits prostate and Louis doesn’t know what to do wth his body anymore – his back was arching, his cock twitching so badly, his head slamming on the floor each time Zayn pumps in. He could feel Zayn’s cock sliding in and out of him, touching every inch of his nerves, stretching him. When Zayn found his rhythm, he paced up, hips snapping to his arse, and he goes harder, and harder.

Zayn stands to his knees and it brought a completely different sensation on Louis. Zayn lifts his legs up, each push felt deeper – as if he was going to break him anytime. It was painfully intense and hot.

“Zayn, I’m coming…” Zayn lets go of his hips and braced himself onto the floor, sweat drops on Louis’s skin, as they intently watch each other’s expression. Louis’s knees almost hits the floor on each pound, he reaches for Zayn’s lips and kisses him again, the feeling of his orgasm finally coming close. He gripped onto his back the way he never did before, he clenched and Zayn bumps his forehead to his. Louis faintly moaned as Zayn comes hard inside him.

It took them a moment before Zayn pulls out and lies beside Louis, both of them panting. Louis smiled to himself, it felt so different. All of these feelings he keeps on hiding suddenly bursts out of him – and there’s no more reason for him to deny this.

“You sure Niall didn’t put anything on your drink?”

“Are you saying you don’t believe I wanted this?” Louis cocked his eyebrow and Zayn smiles instead. “What?”

“You said you like me.”

“So?”

“If you forgot about that, I’ll fuck you in front of Niall.” Zayn smirks and before he could protest, Zayn lunges his body on top of him again.

There was no stopping this person tonight.


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A special chapter of Zayn's POV

Zayn stared outside the window of his classroom, from his position and he could clearly see what happens on the school’s field. It wasn’t really that much of a sight and times like this, Zayn would prefer to be asleep. But someone was out there, conducting some orientation for the freshmen that kept Zayn awake.

It was Louis.

He followed him with his eyes as Louis stopped in the middle of the field, smiling to the new students as he (Zayn assumes) narrates the history if their school. There was something bugging him for the past weeks, after Niall had left the house. He was quite expecting a steamy sex after that because there was no one going to interrupt them anymore, but instead, Louis declined.

He asked him if he remembered about what happened that night after he confessed that he liked him, and Louis said he did, so what was wrong now? Whenever Zayn touches him, he simply backs away, like he was doing something wrong – something he didn’t like. And he couldn’t help but to think what it was.

Zayn could understand Louis’s behaviour before – how he avoided him because he hated him, then he avoided him again because of those girls, then because Niall was there and he was reminded of their past, but now, Zayn couldn’t see anything wrong with their current situation, he wasn’t clearly avoiding him, but he was sure Louis was hiding something from him.

When he asks Louis if he could say ‘I like you’ to him again, (because that has been his current addiction to hear), Louis looked really uncomfortable saying it, unlike that night where he was pretty talkative. And to top it all off, Louis has been like this for over a month now and Zayn kept silent about it, just observing.

The class was over and still, Zayn’s mind drifted to the thought of Louis, he always do this, but he has never been as bothered like this before, especially when he doesn’t know the reason behind it. Like the usual, he’s going to wait for Louis outside the Student Council room, tease him again and carefully observe his actions and expressions.

Zayn saw Louis approaching him, and in an instant, when their eyes met – Louis averted his gaze. It brought an immediate anger inside Zayn, he wanted to slam him in the wall, and make him say all those things he can’t say and everything would be okay. But seeing him now, he looked like he’s not even close to saying anything to him.

“Lou…”

“I – I’m sorry, Zayn. I’m kind of busy right now, we’ll talk later when I get home.” Louis tried to walk past through him, but he stretched out his arm, blocking the door. “Zayn.”

“Tell me what’s wrong.” Zayn watched his expression – why was Louis getting so pissed this easily? What did he actually do? “I won’t make you do your duties until you tell me what’s wrong.”

“Damnit Zayn – I’m trying to work here!” Louis never raised his voice like this before, unless he really did something cruel, like the incident with those girls in his room. He was about to say something when Eleanor followed behind and asked them what’s wrong.

“Nothing, I was just going to ask the President about the next school activities. I’m going now.” Zayn lied. It was better to go now before he could actually fuck Louis in front of El as he try to know what’s going on inside Louis’s head. He got to be honest, lacking the touch of Louis and his body, and his image while they’re having sex added to his anger, but just the thought of Louis avoiding him again and again; pushing him away was somehow, getting tiresome.

—-

Zayn didn’t wait for Louis at the school gate; he went to the park just a few blocks from it instead. He needed to relax, think over some things again and look carefully on what he had missed – on why Louis was avoiding him. He lit his cigarette and started to think of all those times he’d been forcing Louis to have sex with him.

Was it the reason? Did Louis actually – didn’t like it? Did Louis eventually learn that he clearly doesn’t like him and he was just afraid to hurt him because he chased and waited him for how many years? If that was it, then Zayn could stop himself from doing it unless Louis told him so, it was easy as long as he could still touch Louis or grab his hand or at least rest his head on his tiny shoulders.

But that night when Louis was the one who initiated the kiss, that wasn’t something he forced. Was it all a lie? He even asked him a couple of times if he really wasn’t drunk, if he was sure of what he’s doing and he immediately replied that he did, so what was the problem? Was it just because of the drink that’s why he acted like that and then the next few days, he started to become awkward around him again?

He flicked the end of his cigarette; the taste of smoke didn’t even linger that long. Zayn rubbed the bridge of his nose – he couldn’t take this torture he was receiving from Louis. He’s been a lot already, and Louis is the only person who could take him away from all his worries, but it’s not easy when the sole reason of his worry is actually the same person.

—-

“Louis’s avoiding you?” Zayn doesn’t want to ask if Liam’s been trying to emphasize the question or he just didn’t hear it clearly. “Why’d you think of that?”

“Would I be asking you if I know the answer?” Zayn rolled his eyes. He wasn’t used to getting into a one on one advice session with anyone, but he needed this right now. He felt like a large amount of enrgy was being sucked out of him everytime he thinks of Louis.

“Well, I don’t see the reason why he should avoid you, I mean, he said ‘I like you’ to you already, right?” Liam continued to wipe the glasses clean while Zayn experimented on his drinks, Louis was in his usual station, and the fact that he’s not looking at him from time to time made him want to punch a wall. Zayn realized he hasn’t given an answer yet, so he nods.

“Did you do something that might’ve hurt him?”

“As far as I know, I didn’t do anything. And even if I did, he won’t be able to hold onto it and he’ll voice it out sooner or later.” He took another glance to Louis, he was laughing with the other bartenders as if he wasn’t worrying about anything at all. Goddamit Zayn, it’s not time to get jealous.

“You didn’t force him to you know – have sex?” Zayn wondered why this man was even scared to say the word ‘sex’ like it’s a curse.

“No. Three days after that night, we had sex with half of his initiation, he’d be kissing me, teasing me and all those things, I think he’s trying to top, do you think that’s the problem?”

Liam shook his head, smiling. “Zayn, I don’t think Louis is that desperate to top you to avoid you for almost a month.” Liam puts down the glass and then faced Zayn. “Personal issues, I suppose?”

“What kind of personal issue? I never said anything about him being fat or ugly or anything, I love every inch of Louis’s body and personality.” Zayn said proudly with ease.

“It’s nice to hear. And I know Louis has been an insecure lad when we were together, but still, that’s not supposed to be a reason to avoid you.” Liam looked into Louis’s direction, finding an answer for himself. “Did you try to ask him? Without the sex, of course.”

“I tried, but he’d just get away, like I’m about to do something that would hurt him.” Liam glanced back at Zayn, seeing the pain on his eyes as he said those words. “It’s alright if he wants to avoid me, I’m used to that. I just – I want to know why. He looks so scared.”

“What if that’s the reason?”

Zayn stopped from pouring in the next drink. “What reason?”

“What if he’s scared about something?”

“And what exactly was he scared about?” Zayn asked.

“I don’t know, Zayn. That’s for you to figure out.” Liam said, walking away from the station as he approached Louis with ease. Zayn felt like he was hit by an arrow right towards his heart – it was such a painful thing to see how anyone could come close to him without thinking that they might hurt or scare him, but what’s more painful is that after all these years, he was still figuring out the person he thought he always knew.

—-

“Congratulations, Zayn!” A pale girl, with round-eyeglasses and brunette, curly hair jumped out of nowhere in front of him, taking in some attention from the hallway, including Harry and Louis.

“What did I do?” Zayn asked, looking at Harry and Louis who were both surprised b the sudden approach.

“You’ve been chosen to audition to be one of our representatives for Perrie’s photoshoot!”

“Perrie, who?” Zayn asked, cocking his eyebrows as he never heard that name before, and she said it like she was some kind of popular person.

That was when harry entered and swings Zayn to face him. “PERRIE EDWARDS! I can’t believe you don’t know her! She’s like the most famous model in UK – and you’re going to have the chance to be part of her pictures, I – I’m a huge fan!” Zayn could obviously see it, but when he looked at Louis, he seems to be surprised by this sudden announcement as well.

“Then why don’t you be the one to audition? I’m not into photoshoots and things like that.” Zayn brushed him away but the annoying girl blocked his way.

“They can’t audition if they weren’t nominated.” She looked at Harry and pushed him away of Zayn.

“And how did I even get to the nominations?”

“I voted you.” She smiled, and balanced herself on one foot. He could clearly see that red puff on her cheeks. “You look really good, Zayn. You should try it!”

“Yeah! And then get her autograph and photo for me, I’ll love you forever, Zayn!” Harry pulled the girl away from Zayn and hugged him. Zayn didn’t like to do this, but he’ll try something – if Louis allows him to go in here, then something’s really up, if he gave him just one reason not to, Zayn knows that he’s just over thinking things.

He pushed Harry and the girl away from him. “What do you reckon, Lou-Lou? Should I audition for Perrie’s shoot?” Zayn smirked, almost expecting a big ‘NO’ from Louis, and he swore, he’ll hug him right there if he did.

“Of course, you can. It’s your decision.” Louis said in a straight tone and Zayn’s smile broke away from his face completely. He wasn’t able to say or ask anything anymore as he watched Louis walk away from the middle of the hallway and walked his way to his office.

“Fine then, I’ll go.”

—-

“Well, aren’t you one lucky bastard, Zayn! You’re chosen to be part of Perrie’s magazine shoot! Look,” Harry slammed the paper in the middle of the table, pointing into his name clearly printed on the article for those students who were chosen to be part of a special University edition of Perrie’s shoot. “There’s your name! I’m going to get my autograph! Louis, did you hear that – I’m going to have Perrie’s autograph, I’m so happy!”

Zayn smiled a little – the audition was actually quite fun. He met Perrie, and by a simple handshake, he immediately knew Perrie’s interested at him. It’s not because he was confident or anything, but when a model gave you their personal number immediately, Zayn figured it out instantly. The audition wasn’t hard either, they just asked him to pose and then they’ll snap away. None of the photographers asked him to pose, they actually said, he was okay just by standing in there.

Louis was there as well, being the Student Council and supporting those who auditioned, but as usual, he treated him just like the others.

“When’s your photoshoot going to start?” Harry asked.

“Later this afternoon, after class.”

“Can I come?” Harry asked, doing his best to do the puppy eyes. “Please, please.”

“I don’t think anyone would mind you being there.” Zayn said. He wanted to ask for Louis’s opinion but he just wanted to get all this avoiding out of his mind for a while and this whole photoshoot could actually help. “I’ll be going first. Just go to the gym if you’re coming.”

“Louis and I will be there!” Harry called out and a part of Zayn didn’t want him to.

—-

“You’re early,” Perrie was the one who approached him when he was seated on one of the benches, waiting for the make-up artist to call his name. “A bit excited?”

“No, I just don’t have anything else to do.” Zayn said, this girl was dangerously close to him.

“You look sad. Did you and your girlfriend have some argument or something?” She asked, and Zayn couldn’t deny that her voice was soothing and really gentle.

“I don’t have a girlfriend.” Zayn said. He wanted to say a boyfriend, but he wasn’t sure about that thing either. “It’s kind of complicated.”

“I love complicated things.” She smiled. “If I ask nicely, can you tell me what’s wrong?” Zayn saw the sincerity from her eyes. She’s not bad, he thought. For someone who’s flirting, she’s a good one. And since Zayn was trying to keep his mind off of Louis, maybe he could try to open up, just a little bit.

—-

The shoot ended up really good, he met some guys from the other colleges, and he saw Harry and Louis somewhere on the benches, which reminded him of Harry’s autograph. Perrie didn’t hesitate to give a number of photos (which would all end up being Harry’s possession) and even kissed the biggest one for a bonus.

“Jesus! These are a lot of photos! I can’t believe I have them all!” Harry clasped all the photos to his chest, twirling around like an awkward ballerina trying not to look like a sick dolphin forced to jump out of the sea and made a quick turn-around.

“Are you sure you’re gay?” Zayn asked. “You don’t look like one right now.” Harry just poked his tongue out as he repeatedly shuffled all the photos.

“By the way, Perrie’s inviting us to the launching of the magazine cover. D’you want to come?”

Louis just bit his lip, so Harry did the answer for him. “OF FUCKING COURSE, we’ll be there!”

Zayn stared back at Louis, if he keeps on ignoring him – at least he should tell him the reason, ‘cause it’s slowly killing him each time he averts his eyes.

—-

The rest of the days went on with Louis completely ignoring him and Zayn continuing to be part of the shoot’s promotion and also being Perrie’s favourite person out of all the models. Even the workers at the bar found out about their closeness and the news spread instantly about them looking good together.

He was taking this chance to see more of Louis’s reaction when it comes to these kinds of taunts, but he remained passive about it, only to piss Zayn off even more. He have been trying to suppress his anger for a while now, letting Louis be on himself and controlling his side not to go attacking Louis again.

Tonight was the night they’re going to go to the magazine launching, and Zayn only found out that Louis wasn’t coming.

“Are you feeling unwell?” Zayn asked, sitting in the corner of the bed while Louis was curled into the edge of the bed, reading his book. He slightly shook his head. “Then why aren’t you coming?”

“I have an exam for tomorrow.” He said, not looking away from his book.

“I said two days ago that you should review earlier so you could go in there and watch with me and Harry.”

“I was busy.” Louis flipped the pages, and Zayn was starting to lose his grip to himself. “You go on without me.”

“Are you jealous of Perrie and I spending more time together?”

Louis looked surprised; at least he changed his expression. He put down his book and took off his glasses. “Zayn, I’m trying to study, just go if you need to go.”

“And I’m trying to know what the fuck is wrong with you.” Louis blinked as he cursed, suddenly, that emotionless face of his was suddenly breaking. “Why are you being like this?”

Louis just gulped and Zayn could easily notice how he’s trying not to say something.

Zayn inhaled sharply. He won’t force it out of Louis – he just needed to know so badly what’s wrong with him, because it has been a complete torture without him. Why does it seems so hard for Louis to understand what he’s going through?

Zayn moved forward and tried to reach for Louis’s face – he wanted to kiss him, to tell him he’s sorry even though he has no idea what he really did, he wanted to feel Louis’s body against his, to hear the beat of his heart that beats furiously whenever he’s near, that look from his eyes that says ‘he wanted him’ the way he wants him – but the way Louis just flinched was enough to tell him that he can’t even touch him, now.

Louis closed his eyes, as if he was scared of something that he might hurt him or anything. Why? What did he exactly do? He bit his bottom lip, and Zayn stopped in the middle before finally standing up and turning away from Louis. He sighed, holding back all those words he wanted to tell Louis, did everything go away that fast?

He looked back at Louis who was staring to him, and Zayn realized he never really knew Louis at all.

“Why do you look at me like I’m going to hurt you?” Louis tried to open his mouth, but Zayn didn’t let him speak any hurtful words anymore. “You’re so cruel. You won’t let me figure you out anymore.”

And without looking back, Zayn steps out of the room.


	20. Chapter 20

No.Louis wanted to call him back, to tell him that he could touch him – that he badly wants Zayn to touch him. He wanted him to stay. He wanted to tell him that he’s jealous of Perrie ever since he accepted that offer. Hell, he wanted to tell Zayn that he doesn’t even want him to accept that stupid audition. Zayn, come back here, he tried to say it, but even if he did, Zayn wasn’t there.

Louis felt like the way Zayn closed the door was like closing everything about them. He didn’t like the way Zayn looked at him that time, he didn’t like the way Zayn said how ‘cruel’ he is and how he sounded so hurt when he said it. He wanted to take it all back – all those things he said, all those avoiding and ignoring him, Louis wanted to say ‘sorry’.

Louis never knew that this could hurt so bad, thinking that if he continues to avoid Zayn, everything would just be alright and he’d get through it right away. But just this moment, he could feel himself breaking into millions of pieces because he couldn’t do it – he couldn’t be without Zayn.

He wasn’t scared of Zayn – he was scared of himself, he was scared of how Zayn loved him so much and that he wouldn’t be able to love him back the way he did. When he saw Zayn that night after the confession, how he was just so happy, Louis felt it – he felt guilty. What if he really wasn’t ready for this? What if he’ll run away again? So he decided he’ll just avoid him rather than hurt him over again. It was a lame reason for others, but for Louis, he believed it was just the right thing.

And then Perrie came, and he saw how Zayn looked so happy with her, and they could talk easily and both of them are comfortable with each other, unlike him, always running away, always pushing Zayn away from him.

He couldn’t stop his tears from falling, why did it hurt this bad? For a month, he tried to convince himself that Zayn would eventually let go, and he’ll get tired of chasing and both of them will go on their separate ways. Louis wasn’t expecting he had loved Zayn this much for it to hurt like this. It was burning, like all those moments they had were turning to ashes and on each second that passes by, Zayn was drifting away.

“Lou?” Louis quickly wiped his tears away, seeing his mum standing on the doorstep. “Can I come in?”

Louis nodded and Jay sat beside him. It wasn’t long when he could feel it all again, remember how Zayn looked and all his emotions surfaced. He grabbed his mum’s arms and he silently cried, wishing it could ease out the pain. But it didn’t. It keeps building up, all the pain – and it was all pointing to his feelings towards Zayn.

His mum didn’t say anything for a while; he assumed she knows it right from the very start. She trusted Zayn more than anyone else, more than Harry or any friend he’d introduced to her. She saw how Louis tried his best not to show that he doesn’t want to leave their house before because it just holds a thousand memories, but she kept silent with that.

After all, even before Louis could realize his own feelings for his friend, Jay already figured it out.

“Aren’t you keeping everything to yourself, honey?” She finally asked. Louis leaves her shoulder and looked at her, “All this time, you’ve been holding back your feelings for Zayn, and you always try to hide the truth away from him.”

Louis couldn’t find the right words to say to his mum as of the moment. She was right – this whole time, it was always those suppressed feeling of his that kept him from veering away from Zayn. He gulped, he opened his mouth, and he wished all those words that would come out of his mouth after this would still be the same words when he’s in front of Zayn.

“I don’t know – I, I don’t want to hurt him. He loves me so much – what if mine isn’t enough? I can’t go into that situation and then Zayn would regret everything and then he’ll leave me – or I’ll hurt him, I don’t know. I’m scared.”

Jay brushed the hair that was stuck on her son’s forehead, and she smiled.

“When two people are in love, it could never be the same amount of love, Louis. One loves more than the other, and it’s normal for you to feel the same thing. But it doesn’t mean, you’ll just let that person be always the one showing you that he cares – it’s a give and take process. And being scared of not loving someone back the way he does is no reason for you to leave that person. Instead, you should thank him, because there are just few people in this world who could give up everything just to be with the ones they love. And you’re lucky that Zayn’s one of them.”

She didn’t wait for Louis’s reply anymore as she kissed him goodnight and whispered to him that he knows what to do.

And so Louis started to fix his hair, grab a pair of black trousers and a gray shirt. He looked himself in the mirror, and he looked like shit. His eyes were puffy, and the trails of his tears were still visible, if he was going to face Zayn, he couldn’t at least show him that he cried because of him, right? But someone mentally kicked him and just shoved him away from his room and made him run downstairs, and asked for his dad’s keys.

As he drove his way to the place where the magazine launching was held, he tried to keep his thoughts in place and try not to fuck this chance he had for one last time. He half-wished he could’ve swigged a few drinks so he could have the courage to say everything, just like the night of his confession.

The hall was already empty when he came into the place and one of the guards told him that they went into another venue for the after-party. This entire tensed atmosphere wasn’t making him feel better – actually, it just became worse, as more things ran into his mind. ‘What if he was too late?’ ‘What if Zayn would never listen to him again?’ He thought he would have more time to think about it, but the drive from the hall to the house of a certain student who volunteered his house to be the place of the after-party, was bearably short. He looked from his window all those students who were in the back and the front yard. Actually, he could already hear Harry’s voice saying how much he loved Perrie.

He gulped as he gripped tightly into his steering wheel – what if Zayn and Perrie already decided to be together? He couldn’t even bear the thought of it. It would be better if Zayn would just send him off because he hated him for what he did rather than any girl would take him from him. He drawn in as much air as he needed, fighting himself to turn the car and just go back to his house and wait for Zayn.

Students immediately recognized who he was and Louis thought they’d be laughing at him for looking so under-dressed for the occasion, seeing the guys in their coat and tie. Zayn was wearing the same thing before he left, how could he forget about it?

“LOUEEEH!” Harry’s slurred voice called out for him in the patio, holding in a cup on his hand and severely spilling the drink on the floor. “YOU’RE HERE!”

Harry slings his arm around him, and putting his full weight on Louis as they walked inside the house. “Harry, Harry – where’s Zayn?”

This person might be drunk, but the look on his face convinced Louis that he instantly became sober with his question. “They’re up there…”

“They?” Louis asked, the irregular beating of his heart wished it wasn’t who he thought it would be.

“Perrie and Zayn, they’ve been upstairs ever since they arrived here. Who knows what they’re doing…” Harry whispered, and Louis could hear the smile on his voice.

Harry finally pushed him to the first step of the stairs. He looked back at him and he could see the glint on his eyes, was Harry just playing around or was he actually telling the truth? He breathes in and out, he should be ready for a big rejection later if things ended in a worst state, Louis thought.

Those six steps were the longest steps he had in his life – each step brought him closer to that room that could break or make his relationship with Zayn – or whatever the fuck they’re into. The door wasn’t that great either – he felt like he was in some sort of time space warp that kept him from turning the knob and seeing what he shouldn’t see. He could still turn back, act as if nothing happened and accept the fact that it’s over between him and Zayn.

He was about to turn the knob when Perrie opened it for him.

“I, uhm -,” Louis choked out of words.

“You’re Louis, right?” She smiled and opening the door a bit wider. Finally, Louis saw Zayn at the end of the bed. Both of them exchange surprised looks.

“L-Lou – w-what are you doing here?”

“I – I’m sorry, was I interrupting something? I – I didn’t mean -“ Louis turned around, the pain swelling up inside him, he can’t show Zayn that he’s hurt and he’s about to cry.

Suddenly, a tight grip – a familiar grip whirled him around and in an instant, Zayn was there, in front of him, their eyes looked at each other as if they were on their own world. Louis was just about to say all those things he planned to say when Perrie interrupted him.

“It’s good to know that my competition is a fine lad. I admit defeat.” She turned to Zayn and smiled at him, Zayn did the same, but Louis didn’t get anything from it. “Have a goodnight, boys.”

Louis flinched as Zayn slammed his hand on the door, right after Perrie left. Louis lost the strength to try and look at Zayn’s eyes – that alone was enough to tell him how furious he was towards him.

“Zayn,”

“Do you know how hard it was for me for these past few weeks, seeing you avoiding me, averting your eyes and completely ignoring me?” Zayn’s hot breath blows into his cheeks. One deep breath from another, taking in as much air as he needed to control himself from doing anything to Louis. “Is it always that easy for you, Louis? To keep running away from me?” Louis cringed as Zayn’s grip went tighter on his wrist.

He shut his eyes and remembered why he was in here in the first place – he needed to tell Zayn, to ask him about a lot of things that has been bothering him ever since he came back to get him. He tried to struggle away, to find some air and start his sentences right, but Zayn didn’t let him, instead, he lifted his wrist and slammed it against the door.

“Do you hate this?” Zayn hissed, emphasizing his words as he pressed Louis on the wall, legs being pushed apart by Zayn’s foot. “Do you hate me when I do this to you?” Zayn lunges forward, sealing his lips on Louis’s. He tried to say something, but Zayn bit his bottom lip to shut him up. “Do you hate it so much that you have to run away, every fucking time?” Zayn’s eyes finally met Louis’s, and it wasn’t anger that he saw – Zayn was hurt, badly hurt.

“I don’t hate it –“ Louis mumbled, lips still touching on Zayn’s and it was like being kissed for the first time, that familiar feeling he always had when Zayn was on his room the moment he opened the door. This closeness, this possessiveness – how could he say it all at once? How could he admit that all this time, he’s worried that Zayn lovedhim too much and what if in the end, Louis would just hurt him?

“Then what is it?” Zayn’s lips moved to his shoulders, the warmth of his cheeks brushing on his neck, sending a tingling sensation down his spine. Zayn opened his mouth and bit him, he let his teeth bury deep into the fabric covering his shuddering skin. Zayn’s other hand leaving the door and lifting up his shirt, Louis opened his mouth to protest – he wasn’t even successful in saying anything and yet they’re off to doing this – but Zayn’s hand was already on his chest, moving and caressing his flushed skin.

“This – this is unfair,” Louis breathed out as he arched his back, unable to hold on to the feeling of Zayn’s hand raking over his body, “You – you’re always calm and composed and you could, you could easily say what you wanted to say,” Zayn let go of his wrist and Louis let Zayn remove his shirt, his eyes burning with so many things Louis wouldn’t have time to figure out. Zayn snapped the buttons of his coat, removed his necktie and throw all of his clothing at once. It wasn’t long until their hot skins meet again, hands all over every inch of their body as their kiss grew deeper and Louis’s efforts of saying what he wanted to say slowly going away.

“I always push you away – I always run away,” Zayn pressed his body further into the wall, lifting him up as Louis hooks his ankles on Zayn’s back, carrying him towards the bed, Louis lying on his back as Zayn locks him between his knees.

It wasn’t enough to stop Zayn from what he’s doing and Louis felt like Zayn wasn’t even listening – “Why are you always acting like you know what I’m going to say?!” Louis slapped Zayn’s hands when he reached for the button on his pants, “I said, this is unfair – why do you keep on chasing me, why does it always seem to be easy for you even I keep running away?”

“Because you’re mine, isn’t it enough reason, Louis?” He leans forward, his one hand harshly hoisting Louis’s wrists on his head, while his free hand finally opens his trousers. “That very moment I saved you from those bullies of yours, you were mine, Louis. I stole your first kiss, your first everything because you belong to me. And even if you run away, I will find you, Louis Tomlinson. You can’t run away from me.” Zayn let go of his hands and pulled the last piece of fabric on Louis.

“Those days that I wasn’t able to touch you – I tried to control myself,” Zayn quickly removed himself off his pants, “I tried to figure you out one last time, what’s wrong, what’s missing – what is it that I still don’t know about you,” Louis was just listening, chest heaving as time seemed to slow down on each moment Zayn touched him. “I don’t want you to hate me and I don’t want you to be scared of me, I don’t want you averting your eyes, or ignoring me – it kills me, Lou. It kills me to know that you still can do it, and it kills me to know that it seems to be much easier for you.”

Louis clenched on the sheets beneath him, drops of sweat almost sizzled on his hot skin as Zayn pressed his fingers on his thighs, spreading his legs open, watching as Zayn’s fingers moved to his lips. He opened his mouth and slicked his fingers, Zayn pressing his hand deeper into his hip as he watched Louis.

It wasn’t easy running away from you – it never was. I thought I could do it,” Louis throws his head back, the sting of both pain and pleasure and Zayn was drawing close inside him. Zayn moved his fingers, deeper, slower, in and out – letting Louis feel every inch of what they both missed: the friction, the heat, the closeness. “But I missed all of it – I missed how you’re so possessive and jealous about everything and I missed your touch, the way you looked into my eyes, the way you dominate everything about me…and I was afraid - ”

Zayn lined himself up, hands gripping on Louis’s thigh as he pushed inside of him. Louis watched the person in front of him, moving slowly, eyes fluttering, fighting for vision, “I was afraid I might hurt you because I – AH – everything about you is too much – you love me too much.”

“And I don’t care if I fucking do.” Zayn’s hips snapped by his last words, the sweat slicking their bodies as they moved together, Louis pulling Zayn closer, wanting to feel every inch of him, he met Zayn’s thrusts, their groans coming incoherent, both of them giving and receiving what each of them wanted. Zayn rests his forehead on Louis’s and Louis reaching in to completely close the gap between them as Zayn moved faster. Louis moaned dryly, his muscles clenched as he spills that load of pleasure that had pooled inside him.

“I don’t need you to do or say anything, just – Stay. By. My. Side.” Zayn thrusts on each word. “You’re mine, Louis – You’re – fuck –“ Zayn bit his bottom lip as he releases hard inside of Louis, repeating those last words as he collapses on Louis’s chest. “You’re mine, Louis.”

“Yes, Zayn,” Louis reached for Zayn’s chin and leans in pressing a deep kiss on his lips, “I’m yours – always yours.”

Louis thought this is the perfect time to say those three words he’s been dying to say ever since Zayn stole his first kiss – but hearing him say ‘You’re Mine’ became more meaningful than anything else. And Louis didn’t need to hear anything else, after all – Zayn’s possessiveness was enough to say it all.

THE END


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